Small House of Everything

Small House of Everything

Wednesday, March 16, 2011


Just a minor grumble today.  Has anyone ever tried a Little Debbie snack cake?  Or a Little Debbie anything?  Why do they spread the bottom of the cake/anything with some sort of parafin substance pretending to be (I assume) icing?  Don't they realize that this stuff is the only thing in the world more tasteless than the Little Debbie product itself?

     Taking a little sidetrip:  a number of years ago, there was a television commercial for Hostess snacks.  The wise and all-knowing mother had unwrapped various Hostess snacks and placed them on a plate on the kitchen table.  The father, son, and daughter rush past her.  They're late and have no time for breakfast, but they come to a screeching halt at the door, and the father turns, says, "Hey, do I smell crumb cakes?"  No, moron, you don't smell crumb cakes!  Those things are loaded with more preservatives than a year's worth of funeral home customers.  Those things don't emit a pleasant aroma, and they have a half-life of something like 50,000 years.  Yet, the commercial ends with the entire family smiling and munching on snacks, and the hell with being late.  Mother is smiling in her wise and all-knowing way. 

     What product (or commercial) really frosts your cookies?


  1. These days, Hostess keeps buying out (even) worse snack bakeries/chem plants (Dolley Madison) and better ones (Drakes). Little Debris (sic) is one of the few major indies left...along with the faltering local TastyKake.

    "Air fresheners," which must be a very lucrative business in poisoning us all by inches (and, at times, by meters). People pretending Febreze smells good, likewise the candles and oils and plugged in air polluters.

    (Your last-paragraph references to Quatermain rather than Quatermass remain in the previous post at this hour, if you want to fix them...)

  2. Haven't had one in years, but I always thought Royal Oatmeal cookies couldn't be beat for taste. A nice thick layer of cream in the middle. Lord knows what they might taste like today.