The farm couple had been married for years and were very happy, but there was one thing that irked the wife greatly -- her husband would pass mass amounts of gas, especially at night while they slept.
She complained about this constantly but there was nothing her husband could do to stop this. "One day you're going to fart your guts out and then you'll be sorry!" she would tell him.
The day before Thanksgiving she was preparing the turkey for the next day's dinner and as she was pulling out its guts she had an idea. She hid the turkey guts and that night, as her husband was sleeping, she quietly slipped them under the covers by her husband. "That'll fix him," she thought, chuckling to herself.
The next morning her husband was late coming down to breakfast. When he did come he had a pained look on his face and was walking a little strangely.
"By golly, Reba," he said, "you were right about my passing gas. Last night I actually farted my guts out! But with the help of God and these two fingers, everything was right again!"
Bonus joke -- and not a gross one:
How many chefs does it take to stuff a turkey?
Usually just one, and then it's a pretty tight fit.