"Muckle-Mouthed Meg" by Howard Pease (from Border Ghost Stories, 1919)
'Hang him, Provost!' cried the Town Clerk; 'he was caught red-handed, i' the verra manner, makin' awa aff wi' a quey o' your ain frae oor Common.'
'Fear God, Provost,' exorted the Burgh Chamberlain, astonished at the Provost's hesitancy, ' nut ne'er a North Tyne Robson."
'Ay," rang out a dozen voices from the crowd assembled in front to the Provost's house in Hawick, 'mak him "kiss the woodie", let the prood Northumberland thief cool 'is heels i' the wind!'
Accent notwithstanding, it's obvious that the townspeople wanted blood. Bot the Provost's wife had another option, Taking her husband side, she pointed out that their daughter, "Muckle-Mouth Meg," may never marry without a handsome dowry. But the accused was a handsome young man; they could marry him to Meg and have them ride off together -- even if he was one of the "auld enemy." If he married Meg, his dowry would simply be his own life. How could he refuse such an offer. Meg was not a beauty, but she was not ill-natured and would do in a pinch as his housekeeper. and so the deal was set, and the crowd was as pleased at a wedding as they would have been with a funeral.
And Meg determined to be a good wife, especially once she found out that her new husband was not already married. "I and bake an' mak ye sowans, scones, brose, kail o' all kinds, an' parritch." Curious about her new home, she asked, "There wull be muckle ghaists aboot?" He answered "There's naught but the 'wee gray man' o' the moor, but here's no harm in 'im."
And things were going well, even though there was some talk of young Robson taking a Scot as a wife. Soon the talk reached the ears of the Land Sergeant of Gilsland, who resented the Robsons ever since one of that ilk gave him a "lick" on the head in a fray a few months bygone. He determined this was a case of treason for, marriage or not, "all intercommuning with Scots is clean against Border law." He decided to take two men and capture young Robson and bring him before the Lord Warden's court, where he would surely be condemned to hang.
When they arrived to take Robson, Meg was alone. She told the Sergeant that the house was o the edge of the border of Scotland and any "intercommuning" was done on Scottish soil. And when he tried to serve a warrant, Meg called out for the Bargeist, a giant ram with "loose hide and hanging horns, long tail and clattering hoofs" The Sergeant's men took off in terror: " 'Tis the Bargeist, the Bargeist! Ye can fight against thae devils if ye like, but I'll no." So off they went, soon to be followed by the Sergeant whose horse was sent on its way by a smack on the buttock. They stopped half a mile away. the Sergeant's men wanted to head home, but the Sergeant wanted to head back and arrest Robson. Then who should ride by but Robson, on his way home, They attacked him and a bloody battle ensued. Robson slew the two of the men but his lance got caught and the Sergeant was bearing down on him with a gleaming spear. Then Meg threw herself in front of her husband and Robson found himself on the ground, "kneeling beside his wife whose life-blood a spear head was drinking." Dying, she asked for a kiss...on the "muckle moo."
The story was most likely based on a Northumberland legend. It has all the rhythm and pacing of a well-told folk tale. I have no idea what happened to the evil Sergeant (presumably he also met his end) but it doesn't matter, the tale is about the impossible and reciprocal love between a deformed girl and a handsome young man, and it's an effective one, suitable to be told over a warm fire on a cold Northumberland night.
Howard Pease (1853-1928) "was an English writer from Northumberland, a barrister by training who devoted himself to the history, ballads and folklore of the Border country. His ghost stories grew directly about of that landscape of peel towers and raiding country, and he also wrote on the region's antiquities and the Border wars." (Aeneaus Press) Pease's family had interests kin the railway business; he was a landowner and an ex-sheriff of the County and "has taken a wide and practical interest in the administrative, artistic and literary affairs in Northumberland." He was a member of the Society of Antiquities and served as editor of the Northern Counties Magazine, Newcastle-on-Tyne. He married Margaret "Marna" Kynaston, the daughter of Canon Herbert Kynaston in 1887; their youngest son, Captain Cuthbert Pearse, died at age 24 in 1916 "of wounds in the action beside Ginchy. He lost his life leading his company in one of the finest heavy fire that has been made in the war." Among Pease's other books were Borderland Studies, The History of the Northumberland (Hussars) Yeomanry, 1819-1919, The Lord Wardens of the Marches of England and Scotland, Tales of Northumbria, and The white-Faced Priest, and Other Northumbrian Episodes -- all of which are available on the internet.
He should not be confused with another Howard Pease (1894-1974), a popular American author, of 22 novels, mainly children's books (they'd be considered "young adult" books today), many of which were nautical adventures featuring young merchant mariner Tod Moran. (When I was in elementary school, it seemed that the Scholastic Book Club was top-heavy with Tod Moran mysteries.) That Howard Pease was also a high school English teacher and was principal of Los Altos Elementary School.
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