BITS & PIECES

 Openers:   The man lay on a cot near a window in one of the wards of the French army hospiptal at Toulon.  Dr. Dumain, who was showing me through the hospital and who had been called away to attend a delirious patient in another ward, had told me the man's name was Bonnot, and that he had shot himself in the breast two days before in the barracks at the fort.

I had started after the doctor, thinking to take advantage of the opportunity to make my escape -- had had enough of the hospital for the day -- and had nearly reached the door, when a hoarse, agitated voice sounded from behind.

"Monsieur!"

I halted.  The man in the cot had turned his head to look at me with eyes tht positively startled me with their expression of poignant, intense suffering.

The outline of his body under the white sheet and the knotty appearance of his arms, which lay outside, showed him to be  big, muscular fellow; his bare shoulders were brown and massive.  His chest and neck were swarthed in bandages; but these details did not enter my conciousness till later.

My whole attention was centered on his eyes, that burned like twin fires of agony; and I told myself that no physical pain could produce so keen a torment.  As I looked, one great, brown arm was outstretched toward me.

"Monsieur, s'il vous plait,"  he murmured.

-- "Target Practice" by Rex Stout (from All-Story Cavalier Weekly, December 26, 1914; reprinted in Stout's collection Target Practice, 1998)

And so Bonnot tells his story.  He was born in Alsce, some fifteen mies from the French border.  Hi only sibling, Theodore, was six years younger.  When the baby was ten months old their father died, leaving the family impoverished.  Family friends offered to take Theodore to Frankfort as their own son.  Bonnet's mother agreed,  Shortly thereaafter, the mother and Bonnet moved to Paris, where she found low-wage work -- never enough to be able to send for Theodore.  Years later they were able to make one trip to Germany where they found Theodore thiving as a uiversity student.  Even later, in 1909, Theodore came to visit them in Paris, staying for two years; he had been sent by the german government to conduct some sort of scientific enquiries.

Bonnot, now in his early thiries, enlisted in the French army and distinguished himself as an artillery marksman.  Working his way up from the ranks, Bonnet became a sergeant and placed in charge of Battery No. 3 in Toulon.  Then the war came and half of the men at his fort were sent to the front but Bonnet remained because of his importance to Battery No. 3.  The colonel at the fort insisted that regular target practices be held.

One day bonnet had a visitor -- his brother Theodore. who said that he had been drafted for the German army but had escaped to come to France.  Overjoyed at being reunited with his borther, Bonneot proudly led him around the fort showing him the big guns arrayed there.  Theodore appeared more interested in talking about the old days in Paris, but all the time his eyes were moving back and forth, taking everything in.  Of course he was a German spy.  Bonnot discovers this, as well as notes Theodore has written, and locks him in the gun room while he goes for the authorities.  When he reached his captain, Bonnot could not bring himself to give his brother up.  He returns to the locked gun room and discovers his brother gone, presumably leping over a parapet across an eighteen foot trench and then over a wall -- something very difficult but not completely impossible.

Suddenly it's time for target practice.  Bonnot inspets the three available guns, only one of which would be used in that day's target practice.  Hidden in the bore of the giant artillery gun was Theodore!   Bonnot tried to convince himself that it was not he who fired the gun, but that it was France itself.

Rex Stout (1886-1975) really needs no introduction.  The creator of Nero Wolfe and Arhis Goodwin was one of the most famous mystery writers of the twentieth century.  He began writing in 1910, selling a few short poems, but by 1912 Stout had begun publishing an array of stories in the pulps and other magazines.  In 1916 he invented the school banking system which was adopted in more than 400 schools, earning him far more money than his writing thur far had ever done.  (Is it still in existence? I wonder.  I remember it being used in my elementry school of too many year ago.) 

His first book, How Like a God, was published in 1929, followed by Seed on the Wind (1930), Golden Remedy (1931), and Forest Fire (1933).  In 1934 his proto-science fiction political thriller The President Vanishes was published anonymously.  1934 also saw publication of the first Nero Wolfe detective novel, Fer-de-Lance.  

Stout was outspoken on many political and intellectual affairs.  He was active in the American Civil Liberties Union, was head of the War Writer's Board during World War II, wrote propaganda for Fight for Freedom, hosted three rdios shows during the war, made numerous public broadcasts and speeches, led The Society for Prevention of World War III, was active in the United World Federalists, supported the nascent United Nations, led the Author's League of America during the McCarthy era, was the long-time president of the Author's Guild, and was the 14th president of the Mystery Writer's of America and received its Grand Master Award in 1959.  

Two of Stout's books are particularly close to my heart.  The Doorbell Rang was a Nero Wolfe novel that ended with FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover grovelling at Wolfe's doorstep.  Reportedly, one third of Stout's (again reportedly) massive FBI file dealt with this book.  In 1942, Stout published The Illustrious Dunderheads, whih published islolationist, anti-World War II, and pro-Nazie statements by sitting members of Congress.  Would that he were alive today to publish a sequel, perhaps titled The Malevolent Dunderheads.

Incoming:

• Carl Hiaasen & Bill Montalbano, Trap Line and A Death in China.  Thrillers.  Before writing satirical crime novels that deconstruct the great state of Florida, Hiaasen penned three thrillers with fellow reporter Montalbano.  Here are the second and third of that trio.  Trap Line:  "With its dozens of outlying islands and the native Conchs' historically low regard for the law, Key West is a smuggler's paradise.  All that's needed are the captains to run the contrband.  Breeze Albury is one of the best fishing captains on the Rock, and he's in no mood to become the Machine's delivery boy.  So the Machine sets out to persuade him.  It starts by taking away Albury's livelihood.  Then it robs him of his freedom.  But when the Machine threatens Albury's son, the washed-out wharf rat turns into a raging, sea-going vigilante....[it's] a handyful of scruffy Conchs against an armada of drug lords, crooked cops and homicidal marine life.  The resultt is a crime novel of dizzying velocity, filled with enough wrenching plot twists, gritty authentic characters, and enough local color for a hundred tropical shirts."  A Death in China:  "David Wang, Chinese-American art historian, dies shortly after a visit to an ancient tomb housing priceless artifacts.  Officials diagnose death by duck, a fatal confluence of culture shock and rich cuisine.  But Wang's friend Tom Stratton suspects something more sinister, especially after the dead man's brother, a highly placed Party official, tries to have him kidnapped.  From a nightmarish interrogation to assassination by cobra, A Death in China takes readers on a trip with no rest stops through a world of claustrophobic mistrust and terrifying danger."   A different Carl Hiaasen than many of his readers would recognize.

Tribute:   Christina posted this on Facebook last Wednesady:

It had been one month since my mother passed away.  In that month we celebrated AJ turning 50, Kaylee turning 26 and we went on a cruise.  School has started up and we have had 4 weeks of dealing with very difficult, very trying behaviors with Jack.  The kind that make you question everything you are doing as a parent and seriously wonder if we are ever going to come through the other side of this.  Pop has gone back to the beach with us, after a 4 month hiatus.  I know there are a lot of close families out there and I know most everyone feels a tremndous hole when they lose their mother.  But the absence of Nana is ginormous.  The impact and importance she had with our family literally cannot be put into words.  I have been thinking about this for the last month and I truly can't say anything about Nana in less than 77,000 pages.  Besides all that she accomplished on her own as her own person, what she did for me and my family can not be completely expressed.  Nana had great struggles in her private life.  some of which I didn't fully understand at the time.  But she ALWAYS showed up for me, which I also didn't fully comprehend at the time.  Nana completely believed in me and my abilities to accomplish something, way more than I ever believed in myself.  That is a huge asset in life, to have such a cheerleader in your corner.  Nana and Pop took care of my children for 22 years.  22 years of me knowing that my kids were safe and wholely loved, so I could work with a clear conscience.  I was able to switch careers several times, because Nana was willing and able to watch my kids so I could go back to school.  Nana was the reason we got Jack.  I had an opportunity to take in an 8 month old boy (who was not Jack).  But I couldn't do it without the support and help from Nana/Pop.  They were completely willing to disrupt their lives and help me with another person's child.  The situation fell apart at the very last second, we were literally getting in the car to pick the baby up.  I was more devasted and heartbroken than I thought I would be.  I didn't realize how much I wanted another child until this one fell through.  Nana suggested we beome a foster family and we did.  When we got the opportuity for a 6 week old (Jack), Nana was very quick to say yes, she could help us with him.  she held my hand and kept me centered during the entire 2 year battle to get Jack, and the medical problems we went through early on and the ongoing behavioral,problems since then.  There are so many ways, big and small, that Nana was there for me.  If I spent a year talking about all the things Nana did for me, I wouldn't be able to scratch the surface.  I ALWAYS talked to Nana...all the time.  For advice or to vent or to extremely process things.  I look to her now to do that, but she is no longer here.  This past month has been quieter (even with Jack around).  Partly because Nana would always have the TV on 24/7 with the volume up at 78.  But the TV is not on as much now, but the force that Nana brought to the family is also gone.  Over the summer, I was sending out email updates to my extended family about the medical saga we were going through.  On the final email, I wrote tht we had reached the end of the road.  But I have realized that the road doesn't really end.  It keeps on going, but the journey is just much quieter now.

One note:  Kitty suffered from severe tinnitus all her life nd her way of coping with it was to have the television or radio playing constantly, usually very loud.

And for the curious, here are my three favorite gals:

https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=10226276361367196&set=pcb.10226276361887209

And Christina and a friend:

https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=10226260461369706&set=pcb.10226260463249753

And Jack with a buddy:

https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=10226260461369706&set=pcb.10226260463249753

And Jessamyn's comment whe she heard that Queen Elizabeth had passed away.  "I think Nana had just invited her to tea, and so she went.  Nobody refuses Nana."

Saturday the tribe (seven of us0 went and got tattoos inhonor of Kitty.  Mine (my first and only) was the ALS sign for "I love you" on my left ankle -- the same tattoo and location of Kitty's (first and only) tattoo that was done last year.

Kiva:    Sometimes the world and all its problems seem just to much to handle.  We may not be able to solve the big problems but each of us can take tiny steps that mean a lot to make the world a better place.   Kiva is an international microfinance charity that provides microloans to those who are traditionally locked out of regular financial avenues -- low income entrepeneurs and students in 77 countries.  Over 81% of the borrowers are female and the total repayment rate is 96%.  Nearly 2 million loans have been made through Kiva, with over 3000 borrowers in conlfict zones such as Ukraine.  Over one and a quarter  million brrowers are from lest developed countries,  Kiv supports over a million farmers worldwide.  A quarter million borrowers now have access to clean energy.  More than 72,000 educational loans have neen given.

As little as $25 can get one started.  As I mentioned, therepayment rate by borrowers is over 96%.  The money can then be reinvested in another loan, so the $25 initial seed can be recycled many times.  It's a gift that can jeep giving.  Although it's not a gift, it's a loan and it can be repaind to the donor at any time.

I have opened a Kiva account to honor Kitty's memory.  It is a cause that she firmly believed in nd it's a way for me to make a small impact on the world.

I do not wish to push this or any other organization on you.  For those of you who do give chariitably, microfinance may be something that appeals to you.  Kiva has a website (kiva,org) and a high rating on Charity Navigator, which is a very reliable source of information on all sorts of charities.  In this day and age, ll charities should be vetted before you donte.

Pudge:   With the start of football season, it's a good time to look back on the career of Pudge Heffelfinger, the first paid professional American football player.  Born in 1867 in the then-small community of Minneapolis, Pudge was a large, athletically-gifted youth.  The six foot three inch Pudge played both baseball and football in high school and, during his junior and senior high school years, occasionally played both sports for the University of Minnesota -- a catcher for baseball, and a halfback for football.  Pudge had intended to go to the University of Minnesota but a local fan and Yale alumnus convinced him to apply to Yale, tutoring Pudge so he could pass the entrance exam.  The first day of freshman practice in 1888, the captain of the varsity spotted Pudge, liked what he saw, and placed him on the varsity lineup.  Despite his tremendous talent as an athlete, Pudge had a quiet, unassuming manner and did not have the "killer" instinct that the game required; after many efforts to rouse that instinct, it took a sharply worded letter from one of the graduate coach to raise Pudge from his lethargy.  Pudge went on to play his best game of the year then, soon becoming a "terror to his opponents."  The Yale football tram that year went undefeated and untied, but was also not scored against, with a season record of 698-0.

During his years at Yale, Pudge Heffelfinger was a three-time All American.  The Yale team lost only two games during those four years.  Not content at excelling at football, Pudge also was on the school's rowing, baseball, and track teams, and won the university's heavyweight championship.

Following his years at Yale, Pudge played amateur football for the Chicago Athletic Association and was arguably the best player at the time.  Pudge was sought after by two Pittsburg teams for animprtant upcoming game between the two rivals, the Pittsburg Athletic Club and the Allegheny Athletic Association.  The Pittsburg club offered him $250 to play the game for their team.  Pudge refused, either because it ws too little money or because he did not want to risk his amateur standing.  The Allegheny team doubled Pittsburg's offer, so on the day of the game, Pudge Heffelfinger was wearing an Allegheny uniform.  Allegheny won the game 4-0, with Pudge making the only touchdown.  (Touchdowns were worth only four points back then.)  The payment to Pudge was not known until the 1960s.

Pudge Heffelfinger became the head football coach for the University of California at Berkeley in 1893, for Lehigh university in 1894, and for the University of Minnesota in 1895.

Following his coaching career, Pudge joined the family footwear manufacturing business in Minneapolis until 1910, followed by an active career in real estate.  A Republican, Pudge was a delgate to the Republican National Conventions of 1904 and 1908.  He was elected to the Heppepin County Board of Commissions, an office he held for 24 years, serving four years as its chairman.  He twice ran for Republican Primary for Minnesota's 5th Congessional District as a "wet" during prohibition, losing both times to a "dry."

He remained active in football, voluntarily coaching the Yale Bulldogs from the sidelines, taking part in scrimmages and in charity and exhibition games until he was 65.  From 1935 to 1950 he edited the yearly Heffelfinger's Footbal Facts.  In 1951 he was elected to the College Football Hall of Fame.  In 2015 he was inducted into the Pittsburg Pro Football Hall of Fame.   Although Pudge Heffelfinger has not been elected to the wider Pro Football Hall of Fame, I suspect it will be just a matter of time.

Red Riding Hood:   A 1992 cartoon version of the classic tale, from the childrne's book by James Marshall.  Narrated by Donal Donnelly.  

https://archive.org/details/redridinghood_20170601

Cleopatra:   The classic H. Rider Haggard novel in a Classics Illustrated comoic book.

https://archive.org/details/ClassicsIllustrated161Cleopatra/mode/1up

Milk Shakes:   Today is National Chocolate Milkshake Day!

I know that none of you need instructions on how to make a choclate milkshake, and certainly not instructions with step by step videos, but...

https://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Chocolate-Milkshake

The link does has a few suggestions on how to spice up your milkshake, but there is no mention on how to make a malted which is one of my favorites.  Bah!

Florida Man:

•  Florida Man Nathaniel Singleton, 71, was one of 20 person arrested for voting illegally in the 2022 election in a sham crack-down by Florida Governor Ron DeSantis.  Singleton said that he did not realize that he was ineligible to vote.  In fact, he had been told by the state Board of Corrections that all of his rights had been automatically restored.  (This is in line with what many of others who were arrested had stated.)   Singleton had obtained a voter crd after signing up with the Supervisor of Elections in his county.  A 2018 ballot measure allowed felons to restore their right to vote.  The republican-led legislature, which had not beenin favor of the initiative namged to add a few caveats to muddle up the process, including a requirement that felons repay all money owed to the state before being allowed to vote.  Most felons do not know if they owe any such money and have never beeninformed of the fact.  Record keeping is so nebulous that it is difficult to determine who owes what, if anything.  The formlprocess to restoring one's voting rights is also muddled and unclear and most have no idea it exists.  All of this makes perfect fodder for a politician aiming for a higher office and wanting to throw some red meat to his most conservative followers.  And, really?  You cuold only find twenty felons out to destroy democracy out of how many million voters, Ron?
• Florida Men Joel O'Grady, 38, and his son Julian Falkinberg, 21, both of Sanford, are wanted for knocking another man unconscious at a wedding reception, then kicking the man repeatedly before they fled.  A tender little memory for the bride and groom of their most important day.
• In another case of 'Is our children learning?" Florida teacher Diane Tirado was fired as an eighth grade history teacher at a school in Port St. Lucie apparantly for issuing zeroes on class assignments that were not turned in or even started.  Although she is a ong-time teacher, Tirado was new to the Port St. Lucie school system and to its "no zero" grading poliicy.  It turns out "the student and parent handbook declares 'NO ZEROES -- LOWEST POSSIBLE GRADE IS 50%.'  in bright red lettering."  School adminstrators confirmed the policy to Tirado, who felt it was wrong to give half credit for not doing the work.  She gave out the zeroes,  Then she was fired.  Becuse she was new to the system, Tirano was still under a probationary period and no reason need to be given for the dismissal.  But we all have a pretty good idea what the reason was.
• Florida Woman Julia Kinsey Hoover, 39, was arrested after a former student at the Christian private school she worked at accused her of "twerking" against him at his prom two years ago.  The student claimed that Hoover pressured him to drink and began "twerking" on him several times during the evening.  The student said her actions made him uncomfortable and he left the floor each time it happened.  Sheriff's Investigator Brian Cruse said that he had interviewed two witness who confirmed the incident.  He also said that he foundout Hoover had solicited sex from a student via text messages.  Either things like this did not happen while I was in high school or I was too dumb to notice.

Good News:

• Pipes a million times thinner than human hair could be used to deliver personalized therapies to individual cells     https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/worlds-tiniest-plumbing-system-for-delivering-personal-medicine/
• Mankuna honey could help clear the deadly bacteria which causes cystic fibrosis     https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/manuka-honey-could-help-to-clear-deadly-drug-resistant-bacteria-which-cause-cystic-fibrosis/
• A mythical Welsh kingdom drowned by the sea could have existed according to glacier reserch and a famous map     https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/184710-2/
• Grandma lost 250 pounds and is now a bodybuilder after saggy skin removal    https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/grandma-lost-250-pounds-and-is-now-a-bodybuilder-after-saggy-skin-removal/
• Long lost brothers to be reunited after 77 years and 10,000 miles     https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/long-lost-brothers-to-be-reunited-after-77-years-apart-and-10000-miles/
• Pakistan's first female architect delivers bmboo-built relief shelters after devasting floods      https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/pakistans-first-female-architect-brings-bamboo-built-relief-shelters-to-flood-risk-areas/
• Scientists discover how to starve key growth hormwone from melanoma cells in new breakthrough       https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/starving-melanoma-of-one-key-enzyme-could-lead-to-several-different-non-chemo-treatment-options/

Today's Poem:

A Poem for Queen Elizabeth II

Philip came to me today,

and said it was time to go.

I looked at him and smiled,

as I whispered that 'I know."

I then turned and looked behind me,

and saw I was asleep.

All my Family were around me,

and I could hear them weep.

I gently touched each shoulder,

with Philip at my side.

then I turned away and walked

with My Angel guide.

Philip held my hand,

as he led the way.

to a world where Kings and Queens

are Monarchs every day.

I was given a crown to wear,

or a Halo lnown by some.

The difference is up here,

they are worn by everyone.

I felt a sense of peace,

my reign had seen its end.

70 years I had served my country,

as the peoples' friend.

Thank you for the years,

for all your time and love.

Now I am one of two again,

in our Palace up above.

-- Joanne Boyle