Headline from today's Wasilla Messenger:
Obama Flees To Mosque, Requests Asylum
In a stunning development today, President Obama has fled to an Islamic mosques today, demanding asylum and that they "lock the doors, quick!" A statement released by the White House Press Office stated simply, "Geez Louise, what do you expect? Those blasted Republicans are out to get him!" In a possibly related event, it was reported that political pundit Glenn Beck has died after breaking into uproarious laughter. Beck was reportedly eating fried chicken at the time and choked on a bone.