Small House of Everything

Small House of Everything

Saturday, March 7, 2020


"When KID ETERNITY met an untimely death through an error, Fate repaid him with immortality and miraculous powers!  With his guardian, Mr. Keeper, he can become visible or invisible at will, and he can summon the glorious heroes of the past to aid him!"  All of which is is kind of nifty while being kind of cheating at the same time.  Kid Eternity (wearing a white turtleneck and a red sash around his waist) and Mr. Keeper (a fat, bald guy in a white robe) evidently spend their time looking down from the clouds until they find something interesting, such as an Indian lurking through an old ghost town.

Jed Bailey, one-time newspaper publisher, vanished decades ago.  Now he's come back to kill anyone who enters his ghost town.  One unfortunate is Old Pete, a cowhand from the Bar X ranch:  a steak of light hits Pete's back and he falls dead from a silent bullet.  Steve, the owner of the ranch, goes to investigate.  By this time, Kid Eternity and Mr. Keeper are on the scene in their invisible mode.  Kid Eternity says the magic word "Eternity" and -- WHRAMM! -- he brings forth the ghost of Jim Bridger (visible), who knew the town well back in the day when it was populated.  As they explore the town, Steve and another cowboy approach so Kid Eternity says "Eternity" and becomes visible himself.  (This time, there is no "WHRAMM!" sound effect.)  Bridger leads then to Bailey's old newspaper office where they discover a hidden door leading to a tunnel that is over a mile (!) long, ending at another secret door at Steve's ranch!  (Steve's home used to belong to Bailey many moons ago.)  Also in the tunnel is a humongous vein of gold.  Suddenly there is that deadly beam of light and they run for their lives (well, Steve, does; Kid Eternity just fakes it because, you know).  The two are pinned down, so you-know-who says the magic you-know-what and two fully armored crusaders appear and lend them their steel (!), and therefore bulletproof (!) armor, allowing them to escape the deadly beams.  But now they are trapped in a burning building with no way out -- the walls are too thick.  Once again, Kid Eternity says "Eternity!" and up pops Alfred Noble, the inventor of dynamite (who happens to have a stick of it in his hands).  The dynamite blows a hole in the wall (no sound effects this time, sorry) and they escape and capture Bailey just as the sheriff and his posse ride up.  The sheriff was late in arriving because he was searching for an escaped lunatic who had fled the asylum a week ago and -- lo, and behold! -- the lunatic was Bailey.  As for the deadly light beam, it was a rifle with a silencer (!) and with a flashlight attached.  Ho-hum.

Also in this issue:  comical con woman Her Highness and her comely GGA assistant Silk, anthropomorphic Lammypie (whose mother will give him ice cream if he's good but he is led astray by the impish Impy), Betty Bates (the beautiful young District Attorney solving the mystery of the Headless Red Horse), the hoity-toity bum Sir Roger (who is regrettably thirsty this time out), Bob and Swab (a marine and a sailor, respectively, who find themselves neck-deep in beautiful babes and crooked gamblers on the isle of San Amigo), hoboes young Mitie and Big Brother (who help a rucker against his unscrupulous competition).

And, Kid Eternity shows up one more time in a two-page text story, "Blood Feud."

A lot for your dime.


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