Small House of Everything

Small House of Everything

Saturday, November 19, 2016


Question:  Why does a romance comic aimed at young girls have a full-page ad on the inside front cover for male bodybuilding courses?

Answer:  Dunno.

Once you get past that ad, there a little note with the Comics Code Authority seal that ensures you that this comic book meets "the high standards of morality and good taste required by the code."  Good to know as we enter the first story, "My Sister's Beau."

So Clint Foley started seeing Carol's older sister five years ago when the was working on a federal dam project; Carol was fourteen and her sister was twenty and Carol had a big crush on Clint.  When the job was over, Clint moved off but kept writing Carol's sister.  She, however, had little interest in Clint and married someone else.  Carol began writing to Clint, pretending to be her sister.  Carol is now nineteen and Clint is finally coming back to see, her sister.  When Clint comes back he immediately goes into a passionate clinch with Carol.  Carol confesses who she really is and Clint confesses her knew all along and they go into another passionate clinch.  The moral of this story, I guess, is that a five-relationship build on deceit from both parties is a solid foundation for a happy future.  Also, if Clint knew that it was Carol who was writing him beginning when she was fourteen, doesn't that raise a few warning flags about Clint.  Shouldn't he be on a sex offender list, or something?

Helen, the main character in the next story, "Rich Man's Bride," has been groomed since birth for marriage to wealth.  Doesn't matter who the guy is, as long as he has money, everything's jake.  When rich boy and all around cad tries to put the moves on Helen, the neighborhood beat cop, Frank, comes to the rescue.  Soon, Helen is head over heels with Frank ("He's kind to children.  He's brave.  He's my idea of a man."), but Helen's mother doesn't approve.  Then she does.  Why?  Dunno.  Doesn't make sense to me.  The end.

In "The Fragile Heart," young Betty was jilted at the altar by Alan (that cad!).   Betty mopes around for two months, then old friend Dutch Joe comes home after a high steel construction job and persuades Betty to go with him on the town.  As friends, of course.  Betty kisses dutch Joe goodnight and -- KAPOW!  WHAM!  ZOWIE! -- sparks fly and Betty realizes she's macking for Dutch Joe big time.  Embarrassed, she runs into the house and doesn't come out until Dutch Joe has gone off to another construction job.   Remember Alan (that cad!)?  Turns out he was really a cad.  He realized that Betty was in love with somebody else without knowing it.  So Alan is not a cad, just a weak-kneed coward.  Betty realizes that she does love Dutch Joe and goes off to get him, never wondering what kind of man would have 'Dutch Joe" for a nickname.

Next, we meet Hedi, "The Forgotten Fiance."  She's engaged to Jon but they have to keep it a secret for four months because (according to Jon) of his Dad's will.  Jon's Uncle Walter controls the estate until Jon turns 25.  Uncle Walter shows up with Betty, a beautiful redhead, in tow and begins fixing her up with Jon.  Hedi gets jealous.  Jon kisses Betty or, did Betty kiss Jon?  Hedi has enough and calls the engagement off.  Jon admits he's a spineless coward but he loves Hedi, so he tells Uncle Walter where to get off with the money.  Walter chuckles, hehehe, and says it was all a test.  Jon gets Hedi and the estate money.  Geez.  This one makes even less sense than the previous stories.

Josh Bailey is hired as a salesman for Kate Leeds' father's firm in "You're Fired, Darling."  You can guess what happened in this one.  They fall in love, but Josh is a terrible sales man.  He is, however, a damned good writer.  Kate fires Josh and avoids him for months.  Over that time, she has convinced several people to back Josh's play.  It's a hit.  Hollywood is nibbling.  Josh finds out what Kate has done for him ("You framed me, Kate!  You fired me right to the top of the heap!  I've had a Hollywood offer already!  I'm a success!")  Following this deluge of exclamation points, they kiss and Kate accepts his offer of marriage..  My mind has been officially boggled.

Nobody in these stories was actually a bride, young or otherwise.

The comic book ends with a full-page ad for the Slim-A-Waist girdle, although the word girdle or corset is never mentioned, but it does have "seven brand new exclusive features takes inches off your waistline.  Provide vital back support!"  And the inside back cover has a full-page ad for another body-building outfit; this time it's Charles Atlas. **sigh**

Anyway, here's your chance to get in touch with the romantic in you.  Enjoy.

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