Late one night my brother was speeding on a country road when he was pulled over by a policeman. The cop said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
He replied, "No officer, I was too busy trying to get away from the robbery to notice."
The policeman became very concerned. "You mean someone was trying to rob you?"
"Oh, no," my brother chuckled. "I was the one doing the robbing."
"Yeah, I have the loot in the trunk of the car. It's right next to my wife's body."
At this point the policeman drew his gun. He said, "Let me see some identification, fella!"
My brother sighed. "I would, officer, but my identification is in the glove compartment but I don't want to open it because then you'd find the illegal guns I have stored there."
The cop ordered my brother out of the car and, gun still drawn, he handcuffed him and locked him in the back seat of his patrol car. Only after that was done did he call for backup. Soon the place was crawling with cops.
One cop, obviously the most senior of those there, pulled my brother out of the patrol car and said, "This officer said you committed a robbery, have the loot locked in your trunk along with your wife's body, and that you have several illegal guns in your glove compartment."
My brother looked that cop right in the eye and said, "And I bet that lying son of a bitch said I was speeding, too!"