It was Roy's birthday and Dale had given him the most beautiful pair of boots that he had ever seen. Roy's heart was bubbling over with love -- for Dale, for his new boots, for the whole gosh-darned world. Roy decided he go riding for a bit while Dale stayed at the ranch crocheting a vest for Bullet, so Roy saddled up Trigger and away he went.
It was a gorgeous morning. Blue sky, crisp morning air, a magnificent vista, and a mean mountain lion. Yeah, there was a mountain lion and he was in a very bad mood. He leaped and knocked Roy right off the saddle. Trigger, being the smartest horse in the world, high-tailed it out of there. (I said he was smart, not brave.)
The mountain lion should have known better than to mess with the King of the Cowboys, but he didn't so they fought. They fought for five minutes before the mountain lion had had enough and scurried away. Roy was unhurt, but his brand new boots were a mess, scratched and torn and dirty and full of teeth marks. Dejected, Roy headed back to the ranch where Trigger was waiting for him.
Later that afternoon, his crew went off riding and returned about an hour later. Tied across one saddle one saddle was a very dead mountain lion. The ranch foreman said, "Pardon me, Roy, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?"* **
* insert rim shot here