One year, for his birthday, Dale Evans bought Roy Rogers a fancy new pair of boots. Roy didn't know how to thank Dale enough for this gift. I mean, these boots were the fanciest, most beautiful boots on the entire planet -- a pair of boots just suited for the King of the Cowboys. Bursting with pride, Roy hopped on Trigger for a morning ride over the beautiful western vistas in God's own country. Things were going along just fine when...with a growl and a snarl, a large mountain lion leaped from a rock and knocked Roy off of Trigger. There commenced a mighty battle, man vs. cat. Well, of course Roy won and the mountain lion ran lickety-split for cover, but (alas) not before tearing Roy's new boots to shreds. There are just enough words in the English language to describe how low Roy was feeling about this. He just moped and moped. The next day his ranch hands rode up to him with the body of a very dead mountain lion stretched across a saddle. The ranch foreman said, "Pardon me, Roy, is this the cat who chewed your new shoes?"
[For this one you can blame Patti Abbott, who posted a certain song on her blog last night.]