Small House of Everything

Small House of Everything

Friday, August 27, 2021


Don't get me started on the title of this book.  I should be Scottish Jokes or perhaps Scot Jokes.  Scotch is serious business and someone should have been called to the carpet over this.

While I'm at it, the book makes two presumptions -- that the Scottish are cheap and that they wear kilts.  Take those away and this would be a very thin book indeed.

The book is redeemed at the bottom of page seven with a cartoon of a Scottish warrior (complete with drawn sword) at the office of Campbell and Campbell.  The receptionist is explaining to a man who has poked his head guardingly out of the door, "His name is MacDonald, Sir.  He says he's come to settle an old score."

For those not in the know, the scurrilous Campbell clan slaughtered the MacDonalds while under a flag of truce.  This happened several centuries ago or three weeks ago, depending on the viewpoint of a MacDonald.  Also, it is very likely that the MacDonalds played the same trick on the Campbells earlier.  How do I lnow so much about this?  Kitty had a great-aunt Agnes (a MacDonald) who refused to have a can of Campbell's soup in the house.  Scottish Alzheimer's is when you forget everything but the grudge.

Anyway, that was a funny cartoon.  Kitty laughed.

Intersperces among the cartoon are poems by Ogden Nash and Robert Burns, among others, short piece by Phyllis McGinley, Guy Gilpatrick (a Glencannon story), and J. J. Bell, and pages of very stale jokes, to wit:

"Donald, after a prolonged courtship, could not make up his mind between the charms of Janet and Maggie.  At last he decided to sumit the matter to each of the lasses by letter.  A duly cautious missive was dispatched to each, with a postscript requesting  notification by telegram.
"The following morning a wire accepting his kind, if provisional, offer was received from Maggie.  Not until midnight did Janet's message arrive.
" 'I suppose,' said a friend, 'you'll be takin' Maggie, seein' as Janet kept you waitin' so long.'
" 'Na, na,' said the Caladonian Lothario.  'The lass who waits for the night -ates is the lass for me!' "

Just click on the link to get to the book.  I won't tell you to enjoy, but at leaast check out the bottom of page 7.

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