INCOMING

• Alan Dean Foster, Transformers:  The Veiled Threat.  SF quasi-movie tie-in, a prequel to the some Transformers flick (the really bad one with loud noises, CGI gone amok, incomprehensible shots, pitiful script, poor direction, and Shia LeBoeuf -- wait, that doesn't narrow it down).  The book was published in 2009; Transformers was released in 2007; Tranformers:  Revenge of the Fallen was released in 2009; the cover of the book proclaims :THE OFFICIAL PREQUEL TO THE UPCOMING BLOCKBUSTER FILM and inside fron cover blurbs "Look for the thrilling novel based on the new Transformers movie!"  So when this book was released, no one had any idea what the movie was going to be titled.  (And maybe, just maybe, Foster wrote this "prequel" without knowing what the movie's plot was going to be.)  No matter.  "Life on earth [sic] has changed forever as humans and their courageous robotic allies, the Autobots, must work together to protect the planet from the destructive forces of the evil Decepticons.  At the headquarters of NEST, tech sergeant Epps and captain Lennox both guard and assist cyberneticist Kaminari Ishihara and the brooding Russian AI genius [sic] Petr Andronov as they explore the differences between the organics and bots.  In the meantime, all around them, alliances fray, distrust grows, suspicions mount, and traitors come out of the shadows.  Optimus Prime, the powerful leader of the Autobots who is also [sic] part of NEST, is on the defensive as battles flare up from Australia to Zimbabwe.  But escalating Decepticon attacks will culminate in a final confrontation from which no one -- man -- or machine -- will emerge unscathed."  Geez, at the very least, Foster deserved a halfway decent blurb writer.  And if this prequel culminates "in a final confrontation," what's left for the movie?
• Margaret C. Sullivan, The Jane Austen Handbook:  Proper Life Skills from Regency England.  WWJD* nonfiction.  "Every young lady dreams of a life spent exchanging witty asides with a dashing Mr. Darcy, but how should you let him know your intentions?  seek counsel from this charming guide to Jane Austen's world.  Its step-by-step instructions reveal the practicalities of life in Regency England, including sensible advice on:

          " - How to behave at your first ball

          " - How to ride sidesaddle

          " - How to decline an unwanted marriage proposal

          " - How to improve your estate

          " - How to throw a dinner party

          " -- and much more."

          Don't you wish you had this book when you were dating?

* What Would Jane Do?