Anyone with half a brain should have figured this out in the beginning.
And this item will never be in the "Huh, didn't know that" column.
And, in this story, let's substitute the word "may" for "a slightly better chance than a snowball in hell."
as John Goodman's character in Matinee said, "I'm in the wrong business."
But at least there is some good, solid, hard-hitting news that everyone can use today -- just in time for Father's Day.