HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHRISTINA!

 I have made no secret of the love, admiration and pride I have for my children.  The fact that they are among the very best human beings can be laid squarely at their mother's feet far more than mine, and, of course, genetics (again, reference their mother).

Christina was always the more determined child, serious in so many ways, brooking no nonsense, yet she had a marvelous sense of humor (even if it took a while to get the joke) and an amazing sense of fantasy.  For several years, I think she may have actually believed that I was her identical twin brother, Fred Ingrid House; more likely, though, she tolerated my warped sense of humor.  Age the age of three, she was a whiz at Concentration, usually beating the pants off my father, who was prone to say that he'd put his money down on Christina any time.  We had been calling her Christy since she was born, but one day, in either kindergarten or first grade (I forget which), she came home and informed us her name was Christina -- and that was that; she's been Christina ever since.  We never had much money, but she would feel guilty when she compared her family to those of her friends; I never asked what happened in those other homes but, for Christina, ours was far more preferable.  When she was young, she was scared at how large the universe was, something I think is common to many of us.  There were several days when she would not talk to me because I had the audacity to send her Cabbage Patch doll, Callandra Jan, down an escalator alone.  She and her friends would tolerate me when we played cards, even though every game was called Mr. House Always Wins.  She helped plan her birthday parties, which were always unique and popular.  She was of the firm belief that Nancy Drew was a turnip-brained fathead.  She lost all respect for a high school English teacher when she learned the teacher had never heard of P. G. Wodehouse.  Working at Carvel Ice Cream and McDonalds she learned that it was not a wise idea to tick off the person making your milkshake or your sandwiches.  In college, she learned the two secrets of success:  first, A-1Sauce makes everything in the cafeteria edible;  second, "It doesn't matter, take a nap."  She is also color blind:  one of her college roommates was Black ("Christina, you live with me, you've met my mother, you've met my brothers, how could you not realize that I am Black?" -- true story.)  Also in college, sheer grit and determination allowed her to earn a black belt in taekwondo and to become president of the university's taekwondo club.  While working at a muffin ship in Pentragon City, she would take the unsold muffins that were to be thrown out with her and give them to the homeless on her way back to the dormitory.

After graduation, she work as an ambulance driver (where she met Walt, the man who would become her husband), and volunteered for the local Rescue Squad.  (One of the men she worked Rescue with was the person who found John Bobbitt's notorious dislodged member in the bushes.)  She became a paramedic and had many stories she did not dare to tell us.  After a brief stint in an Ob-Gyn office, she started work in the ER as a tech; the ER docs were happy when ever she was duty because things when Christina was there, things would work right.  Sometimes, she would stay in a patient's room because nobody should die alone.  When it came time for a career change, she trained as a cardiac sonographer.  Although she was not "qualified" to read the sonographs, she made sure the doctors werer alerted if she felt there was something wrong with her sonographs.  Between the ambulance, the ER, and the sonography, she saved lives -- something that she would downplay if it were brought up.  Another career change and she became a sign language interpreter, currently working the county school system; her student this year is in the first grade, and she will probably move to the second grade with him.  (That's up in the air because her parents are military and have received transfer orders but they are hoping to have the orders reversed to allow the child to stay in the school system.)

She has been her husband's biggest supporter (and he hers) as he worked his way through college and various technical certifications.  Walt now has a highly responsible management job in the computer industry working on military contracts.  The two of them have done a fantastic job with their kids.  Mark, the oldest, graduated from college this year with a degree in marine studies.  His long-term ambition is to work with venomous reptiles.  Mark is quiet and shy, traits that do not prevent him from being friendly. well-loved, and loyal.  He has an amazing sense of humor.  He is both studious and devout, an avid soccer fan and long-distance runner.  Everyone who has met Mark instantly likes him, and for good reason.  Erin just turned twenty-one and has just one class left before graduation.  She's a hard worker and wants to become a veterinarian --so it's perhaps a good sign that she loves animals, especially that phlegm-inducing allergen of a dustmop that haunts my room while she's off at school, and her two hedgehogs, Pine Cone and Potato.  Erin is smart as a whip, sweet, and beautiful.  She has inherited her mother's determination, in spades.  And Jack...well Jack is not like the others.  Christina and Walt had been fostering children for a while when Jack came into their lives at six weeks old.  He had spent the first six weeks of his life detoxing at Washington Children's Hospital.  His mother was drug-addicted.  Jack has had a number of emotional and physical problems throughout his short ten years.  Christina and Walt adopted him eight years ago and have been able to work miracles with him.  I have watched the progress he has made over the years and I am amazed at how far he's come.  He still has some ADHD issues but he is in essence a sweet child, active in sports, and desperately wanting to please.  I have no doubt that, with Christina and Walt's patience and love, Jack will become a fine young man.  We love him more than words can express.  Now, if we can only get him to study math...

Another important part of Christina's life are the animals.  There have been many over the years and Christina takes animal ownership seriously; actually, with Chritina, it's more animal stewardship than ownership.  At present, there are three dogs (Duncan, Happy, and Jolly), three cats (Sage, Sprout, and -- hiding out in Mark's room -- Willow), a tortoise (Sebastian, for whom Christina makes a tasty salad for breakfast each morning), a South American tegu (Mango, who sometimes like to escape from his enclosure),  the two hedgehogs (who travel back and forth from Tallahassee with Erin), and Mark's three snakes (a python, a milk snake, and some sort of albino snake).  

I remember vividly the day Christina was born.  A half hour later a nurse wheeled Kitty into her room while they were getting the baby ready to come up.  Kitty was hungry so the nurse went in search of food.  Kitty got up from her wheelchair and we slow danced across the room.  The nurse interrupted us with two bowls of red jello, each with a scoop of whipped cream on top.  Then she brought in Christina.  Perfect, beautiful Christina.  They say that all babies look like Winston Churchill, but Christina did not.

She looked like an angel.

Happy birthday, sweet child.

SHORT STORY WEDNESDAY: THE RATS OF LIMBO

 "The Rats of Limbo" by Fritz Leiber (from Fantastic Science Fiction Stories, August 1960)

The August 1960 issues of Fantastic Science Fiction Stories was a cornicopia of delights for the young teenaged me (as was just about every issue of the magazine edited by the talented Cele Goldsmith).  A cover story by Robert Bloch, short stories from Eric Frank Russell, Arthur Porges, Fredric Brown, and Robert F. Young, the conclusion of a serial by Jack Sharkey, an article by Sam Moskowitz ob M. P. Shiel and H. F. Heard, an 11-page letters column, and Fritz Leiber's brief and (for me) unforgettable "The Rats of Limbo."  I can't count the time I've read this story.  It blew my young socks off the first time I read, and remained as impressive every other time I have read it over the decades.

The editorial introduction to the story"  "Every writer must have his fun.  One has his fun -- and gives you some, too -- in this tale, fable, sketych, scrap (crumb?)."

This particular crumb was a mere two and a half pages.

Two souls are conversing in Limbo and one mentions the rason he is there is his bad memory.  There are rats -- lots of rats -- and there is Helen of Troy and Robert E. Lee and a knife and a rope and a way to improve one's memory...

Is it a comic story?  Or is it an early New Wave experiment?  Or is it out and out horror?  Considering Leiber's background, could it be an early 60s take on The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari?  No matter; Leiber's surreal imagination swept me away.  About the same time I read his Fafhrd and Grey Mouser story "The Bleak Isle," and have been a worshipper at the alter of Leiber ever since.

The August 1960 issue of Fantastic Science Fiction Stories is available at Internet Archive.

FORGOTTEN FILM: MASTER OF THE WORLD (1961)

 Based on Jules Verne's 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea Master of the World and Robur the Conqueror, this is the tale of  a fantastic submarine airship piloted by the mad Captain Nemo Robur (Vincent Price).

Robur hates war and he is willing to kill whole armies to prove his point.  He has kidnapped four people to go along with him and his crew for the ride -- Prudent of Philadelphia (Henry Hull), an arms manufacturer; his daughter Dorothy (Mary Webster, who looks good in tight trousers); her uptight fiance Philip Evans (David Frankham), and American agent John Strock (Charles Bronson).  In the flick, Vincent Price plays Vincent Price, Charles Bronson plays Charles Bronson, and the special effects are laughable - after all, this movie was from AIP, which explains a lot.  Also along for the ride is Vito Scotti as the comic relief French chef Topage, Wally Campo as the ship's first mate Turner, and a forever shirtless Richard Harrison as crew member Alistair.  In one scene we have stock footage of three different armies (probably four)  -- African natives on foot, Arabs on horseback, somebody on camels, and somebody else on foot charging each other to portray the foolishness of war, as Robur drops puny bombs to indicate that he has destroyed all of them.  Eventually, Robur's madness and the efforts of the four Americans destroy the ship -- the threat is gone and (Thankfully) wars can continue apace.

The director was William Witney, who has 140 film and tlevision credits from 1937 to 1982 on IMDb, including Tarzan's Jungle Rebellion, Nyoka and the Lost Secrets of Hippocrates, and Trigger, Jr.  

The script was written by Richard Matheson, who deserved better.

The budget for Master of the World was estimated to be $1,000,000.  My theory is that most of that went to craft services.

I cannot help but wonder what Matheson's script would have produced in more capable hands.

Nevertheless, there are far worse ways to spent an hour and forty-two minutes.  Sadly, the YouTube link below is loaded with commercials about every ten minmutes.  You have been warned.  Enjoy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrvaUDJ8nzU&t=1336s

BITS & PIECES

Openers:  At four o'clock on Thursday afternoon, Peter Finney rushed past the beautiful receptionist in the waiting room and burst into Dr. Eyck's teak-paneled Hollywood office.  There. seated behind his free-form, polished deask, beneath the Picasso sketch, to the right of the Giacometti sculpture, was Dr. Eyck.

"You bastard," Finney said.  "You stinking, rotten bastard."

If Dr. Eyck was surprised, he gave no indication.  He glanced at his watch and said mildly, "You're early today, Peter.  Is something troubling you?"\"You're goddamned right," Finney said.  "You're goddamned right, you slimy, crud-coated Kraut."

Dr. Eyck stroked his goatee thoughtfully and nodded toward the black morocco couch.  "Do you want to talk about it?"

--"How Does That Make You Feel?" by Jeffery Hudson" (Michael Crichton) (first published in Playboy (as by "Jeffery S. Hudson"), November 1968; reprinted in Crime Without Murder, edited by Dorothy Salisbury Davis, 1970, and in The Peeping Tom Patrol, edited by "The Editors of Playboy," 1971)

 Finney accuses the psychiatrist of having an affair with his wife, a beautifulk actress who has not had a starring role in over four years.  Finney himself is the star of the nation's top-rated comedy show, Peter and George.  The night before, filming had run later than usual and, rather than head straight home, he took his co-star's suggestion and went out for a quick drink at El Greco, a place often frequented by Hollywood elite.  The bartender there was talking to some out-of-towners, impressing them with the type of people who frequent the place -- Steve McQueen, Paul Newman, Angie Dicknson, and Gloria Starr.  Finney's ears picked up at that because Gloria Starr was his wife.  He heard the bartender to go to say that she and a man dined there every Tuesday and Thursday; Tuesdays and Thursdays were the nights Gloria went out to her "bridge club."  When the bartender said that the man who always accompnaied Gloria was a fat man with a goatee, Finney knew it had to be Dr. Eyck.  Now, Finney w2as in Eyck's office, ranting and pulling out at gun.

The doctor remained calm, stating that there were many fat men in Los Angeles with goatees.  Slowly, patiently, he was able to calm Finney down and make him see that he had rushed to judgement.  After Finney's appointment, Eyck phoned Gloria and told her that they had to make alternate plans because Finney knew about El Greco.

Many writers would have ended the story at that bit of irony, but Crichton devoted the last two pages of the story with an unexpected twist.

I was surprised to find a short story by Crichton, whom I thought wrote only full-length works.  Crichton began publishing adventure novels as "John Lange" in 1965, while he was still in medical school.  The year this story was published, 1968, Crichton published A Case of Need, the only novel published under the "Jeffery Hudson" pen name; it went on to win an Edgar as Best First Novel.  The following year, he published The Andromeda Strain, the first of many best-selling novels under his own name.  "How Does That Make You Feel?", the first of only three short stories by Crichton listed in the FictionMags Index.  (In fact, the Index did not acknowledge that "Jeffery S. Hudson" was a pseudonym belong to Crichton; it did list one 1968 story as "John Lange" and one 1971 story under Crichton's own name.)  

Crichton evidently took the "Jeffery Hudson" name from the 17th century court dwarf of English Queen Henrietta Maria of France, Jeffrey Hudson (1619-@1682; note the difference in the spelling of the first name.).  The historical /Hudson fled with the Queen to France during the English Civil War but was expelled after killing a man in a duel; he was captured by Barbary pirates and spend 25 years as a slave in North Africa before being ransomed.

Incoming:

• Megan Abbott, The Fever.  Suspense.  "In this impossible to put down 'panic attack of a novel' (Jodi Picoult), a small-town high school becomes the breeding ground for a mysterious illness.  Deanie Nash is a diligent student with a close-knit family; her brother Eli is a hockey star, and her father is a popular teacher.  But when Deanie's best friend is struck by a terrifying, unexplained seizure in class, the Nashes' seeming stability dissolves into chaos.  As rumors of a hazardous outbreak spreads through the school. and hysteria and contagion swell, a series of tightly held secrets emerges, threatening to unravel friendships, families, and the town's fragile sense of security.  The Fever is a chilling story about guilt, lies, and the lethal power of desire."  This one plays to all of Megan Abbott's considerable strengths.
• Poul Anderson, The Fleet of Stars.  Science fiction, the fourth and final novel in the Harvest of Stars sequence.  "Anderson brings back the wildly colorful Anson Guthrie, his iconclastic hero from Harvest of Stars.  The staid, somber people of Earth are not only dependent on technology, they are all but ruled by machine intelligence. Suspecting a conspiracy to supress the last vestiges of freedom known to humankind, Guthrie sets out on a dangerous and hair-raising journey encompassing the realm of comets, the asteroids, and the stars themselves.  Among the many exciting characters he meets along the way are the brave, beautiful Kinna Ronay and her courageous friend Fenn, who, against the advise of the wise and cautious Chuan, will join Guthrie in his attempt to stop the Terrans.  Guthrie and his friends are determined that humankind will travel to the stars and roam the galaxies, even the universe itself, or die trying."  The second book in the series, The Stars Are Also Fire, won the Prometheus Award.
• Lawrence Block, Hit List.  A Keller novel.  "Keller is a regular guy, a solid citizen.  Call him for jury duty and he serves without complaint.  He goes to the movies, watches the tube, browses art galleries, and works diligently on his stamp collection.  But every now and then a call from the breezily efficient Dot sends him off to kill a total stranger.  He takes a plane, rents a car, finds a hotel room, and gets back before the body is cold.  He's a real pro, cool and dispassionate and very good at what he does.  Until one day when Dot breaks her own rule and books him for a hit in New York, his home base.  She sends him to an art gallery opening, and the girl he gets lucky with steers him to an astrologer.  He's Gemini, his moon's in Taurus...and he's got a murderer's thumb.  Then the jobs start to go wrong.  Targets die before he can draw a bead on them.  The realization is slow in coming, but there's no getting around it:  Somebody out there is trying to hit the hit man.  Keller, God help him, found his way onto somebody else's jit list."  Block and Max Allan Collins are the only two writers I know who can sustain a long-running series about a professional killer and make it entertaining.
• JJ Elliot, Gallows Humor. Collection of fourteen holiday-themed horror stories.  "A man who wakes up in a cemetery on his own grave.  A brother loses a sister in a fun house.  A politician raises from the dead to vote.  A girl who can feel no pain.  These and other stories are part of Gallows Humor, a collection of short stories about the weird things that can happen on holidays in the course of a year.  These tales will capture the imagination and fill the reader with wonder, awe, andin some cases, terror.  So pull up a seat at the bar in Gallows Humor and have a drink or two."  Evidently a self-published book, undated.  The author says he lives in San Diego, eats donutes, drinks tea, and has been telling stories for over 20 years.  There is no listing of previous publication for any of the stories.  Neither he nor the book are listed in ISFDb, the FictionMags Index, or on Worldcat.  This is a pig in a poke purchase.
• Erle Stanley Gardner, The D.A. Takes A Chance.  The eighth (of nine) Doug Selby mystery.  "Blond [sic] Eve Dawson came to Hollywood to be a star and didn't make the grade.  But as a party girl she was much in demand until -- someone shot her during a specially wild party given for a lot of prominent politicians.  Everyone clammed up and the pressure was put on -- even on the popular D.A. Doug Selby.  But Selby and Sheriff Brandon woulodn't hush.  The next time beautiful Eve turned up she was a corpse with a carving knife deep in her chest.  And even that suave old fox A. B. Carr couldn't stop the D.A. from finding out who killed her and why."  The Doug Selbyt mysteries were never as popular as Gardner's books about Perry Mason or Bertha Cool and Donald Lam.  The D.A. Takes a Chance was serialized in The Saturday Evening Post before book publication; the week the magazine began serialization, the first installment was adapted for the ABC Radio serial Listening Post.  Selby made it to TV once, in a 1971 movie starring Jim Hutton.
• David Gerrold, Chess with a Dragon.  Humorous science fiction novel.  "The Galactic InterChange was the greatest discovery in history.  Through the InterChange, humanity gained access to the combined knowledge of all the worlds and all the races in the galaxy.  For librarians, scientists, doctors, teachers, and anybody who had an interest in the spread of knowledge, it was a field day.  All they had to do was find something interesting on the menu and request a copy.  Then the bill came.  It was the greatest bill in history, and humanity had no way of paying it off.  No way except one -- indenture.  Beings slaves to aliens didn't sound like much fun.  Yake Singh Brown was the man who had to negotiate the deal for humanity.  It was the toughest assignment he'd ever faced, like playing chess with a dragon.  All he had to do was figure out the rules of the game before being eaten."
• Contance & Gwenyth Little, The Black House.  Mystery novel.  "Henry's aunt painted the outside of her house black.  But she isn't that gloomy.  She still enjoys an occasional glass of sherry.  Too bad she's been dead for a year.  When Henry Debbon accepted (most reluctantly) the job of bodyguard to his boss's beautiful red-headed daughter, he never expected he'd end up beoing shot at (twice), or have his clothes confiscated at a hospital.  He also wasn'r prepared for hosting most of the people from his office at the house (painted black) in upstate New York he recently inherited from his very eccentric aunt.  And though he thoughtfully poured out an extra glass of sherry in his aunt's memory, he was just as surprised as the rest of his 'guests' when she (apparently) drank it.  A little ghostly imbibing was the least of Henry's worries.  Those unwelcome guests also included a potential murderer -- an escaped convict who will seemingly stop at nothing to avenge himself on Henry's boss for refusing to represent him.  Worse yet, a major snow storm has isolated them all from any help.  First published in 1950, it's vintage Little mayhem, although told for the first time from an entirely male point of view."  I've been wanting to read a book by the Littles for some time now, and this seems like a perfect opportunity.
• Sylvia Melvin, Death Behind the Dunes, Death beyond the Breakers, and Death on Blackwater Bay,  Lieutenant Nick Melino mysteries.  Some more pig in a poke purchases.  The author is local and has published (probably self-published) romances, Christian historicals, humor, and a couple pf biographies (one of which, about a relative who had been a Florida judge, got one review on Amazon, and two on Good Reads -- all were five-star reviews without comment; gee, I wonder who wrote them?).  Anyway, in Dunes, the former head cheerleader is murdered on her 25th reunion.  Nick Melino of the Santa Rosa Sheriff's Department, another member of the Class of '86  investigates.   There's a hurricane, blackmail, and a heroin ring,  In Breakers, the dead body is on an off-shore oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico.  Is there a drug connection, or perhaps some corporate shenanigans?  In Blackwater (near where we spend out Easter holiday), a prison inmate is released after eighteen years for a crime he did not commit.  Two days later, the judge who sentenced him is murdered.  Revenge, politics, drugs (again), and a Ponzi scheme combine to muddy the waters for Melino.  Another thrift store find.  All three books were inscribed to "Lotus" and signed by the author.
• Kim Newman, Anno Dracula:   One Thousand Monsters.  The fifth novel in the Anno Dracula series.  "In 1899 Genevieve Dieudonne travels to Japan with a group of vampires exiled from Great Britain by Prince Dracula.  They are allowed to settle in Yokai Town, the district of Tokyo set aside for Japan's own vampires, an altogether strange and less human breed than the nosferatu of Europe.  Yet it is not the sanctuary they had hoped for, as a vicious murderer sets vampire against vampire, and Yokai Town is revealed to be more a prison than a refuge.  Genevieve and her undead comrades will be forced to face new enemies and the horrors hidden within the Temple of One Thousand Monsters..."
• James Patterson and Chris Grabenstein, I Even Funnier:  A Middle School Story.  Juvenile.  "Get your laughs, whoops, yucks, chuckles, chortles, giggles, and guffaws right here!  Step right up and see me, Jamie Grimm, laugh my way through the roller-coaster ride called middle school!  Watch me joke my way to the top of the Planet's Funniest Kid Comic Contest!  Be amazed as I fend off the attention of thousands of starstruck girls!  Or something like that anyway...People say I can be pretty funny sometimes.  But when things get really tough, I EVEN FUNNIER!"  Don't think unkindly of me; I bought it for Grabenstein.
• Terry Pratchett, Nation.  YA fantasy novel.  "When a giant wave destroys his village, Mau is the only one left.  Daphne -- a traveler from the other side of the globe -- is the sole survivor of a shipwreck.  Separated by language and customs, the two are united by catastrophe.  Slowly, they are joined by other refugees.  And as they struggle to protect the small band, Mau and Daphne defy ancestral spirits, challenge death himself, and uncover a long-hidden secret that literally turns the world upside-down."
• Bill Pronzini, High Concepts.  Science fiction/fantasy short story collection.  34 stories from 1968 to 2023, including fourteen stories written with Barry N. Malzberg, one with Jeffrey Wallman, and one with H. L. Gold.  Some are short and funny, some are clever and gimmicky, some serious and thoughtful, some experimental; combined, they display Pronzini's amazing level of versatility and ability to stretch his authortorial wings.  I've read all of Pronzini's novels (excepting the early softcore paperbacks he wrote with Jeff Wallman, and I can be forgiven that), short story collections, and nonfiction, and still the man's talent amazes me.
• Peter Robinson, A Necessary End. An Inspector Banks mystery, the third novel in the series.  "A peaceful demonstration in the town of Eastvale ends with fifty arrests -- and the brutal stabbing death of a young constable.  But Chief Inspector Alan Banks fears there is worse violence to come.  For CID Superintendent Richard Burgess has arrived from London to take charge of the investigation, fueled by professional outrage and volatile, long-simmering hatreds.  Crossing Burgess could cost the Chief Inspector his career.  But the killing of a flawed Eastvale policeman is not the only murder that needs to be solved here.  And if Banks doesn't unmask the true assassin, his supervisor's misguided obsession might well result in further bloodshed."  Robinson's Alan Banks series of 28 novels sets a high standard that few could equal.  There will be a free online tribute to Peter Robinson on June 8, with Louise Penny, Michael Connelly, and Ian Rankin.    https://harrogateinternationalfestivals.com/whats-on/a-tribute-to-peter-robinson-8-june-2023/
• Robert Silverberg, Gutter Road and You Can't Stop Me.  The latest two-fer volume of softcore paperback novels from Stark House, reprinting books from some six decades ago.  Gutter Road (from Sundown Readers, 1964, as by "Don Elliott"):  "If only Fred Bauman hadn't stopped that raininy night and offered the young woman a ride, his life wouldn't be such a hell now.  How was he to know that Joanne was working a con on him when she enticed him in the friont seat of his car?  Now he's paying more blackmail than he can afford to keep her from crying rape.  Fred certainly doesn't want his wife Ethel to find out about his crazy indiscretion.  But what he doesn't know is that Ethel has issues of her own.  To stave off sexual boredom, she keeps a hidden bottle of vodka for her afternoons, dreaming of a man who can offer her some excitement of her own.  Joanne's simple con sets the wheels in motion, and they're all heading down a road that will change their lives forever."  You Can't Stop Me (from Pillar Books, 1963, under the title Lust Lover, as by "Dan Eliot"):  "When Lou Andreas is [sic] a teenager, filled with the lust of youth, all he wants to do is lose his virginity.  But his first experience is a fiasco, and the young prostitute berates him for his failure.  Filled with rage, Andreas finds another prostitute, and kills her.  After that, sex and death become all mixed up in his head.  He kills only prostitutes, but it becomes a compulsion.  Then he meets Tony, and for a while Andreas knows what it's like to have a normal relationship.  She is everything he could want in a woman.  But Marion makes the mistake of falling in love -- she wants marriage, which is the last thing on Andreas' mind.  And besides, there are so many more streetwalkers who need killing..."   Silverberg churned out over 175 of these softcore novels early in his career, all (in Barry N. Malzberg's words), "flawless in their execution and force."
• Rex Stout, Bad for Business.  A Tucumseh Fox mystery.  "Amy Duncan was a beautiful working girl who had a strong attachment to her job, an affection for her boss, and a frightening way of attracting trouble.  Private investigator Tecumseh Fox met her when she literally walked into the bumper of his car.  She promptly sped him off into the most puzzling case of Fox's brilliant career.  It involved her family's food enterprise called Tingley's Tidbits.  The firm was in an uproar because their appetizers were suddenly very unappetizing.  This, of course, was bad for business.  Profits dropped, but it was murder that kept them in the red."  Fox appeared in three novels from Rex Stou, a far cry from his other "animal" detective, Nero Wolfe.
• Martin Walker, Bruno, Chief of Police.  Mystery, the first in a series.  "Meet Benoit Courreges, aka Bruno, a policeman in a small village in the South of France.  He's a former soldier who has embraced the pleasures and slow rhythms of country life.  He lives in a restored shepherd's cottage, shops at the local market, and distills his own vin de noix.  He has a gun but never wears it; he has the power to arrest but never uses it.  Most of his police work involves helping local farmers -- his friends and neighbors -- to avoid paying E.U. inspectors' fines.  But then the murder of an elderly North African who fought in the French army changes all that.  Now Bruno must balance his beloved routines with an investigation that opens wounds from the dark years of Nazi occupation, and he soon discovers that even his seemingly perfect corner of la belle France is not exempt from his country's past."  A highly recommended series.

Theories:  Our current theories about the early days of the universe will have to be revised after the James Webb telescope peered into the very distant past, discovering galaxies that should not exist.   Up to now our iunderstanding of cosmology allowed billions of years to pass after the big bang before galaxies could be formed.  The Webb telescope has discovered a huge galaxy -- ten time that of the Milky Way -- that existed only 500 million years after the big bang.  Not only that, they also discovered a  nearby mini-galaxy -- much smaller than thought possible -- that ezisted from 500 to 550 millions years after the big bang, and this galaxy was producing stars at an incredible rate -- again, something thought to be impossible.  With these discoveries, out view of physics has changed and fundamental new theories are needed tp explain what had happened.

One idea that has been floated is that this rapidly speeding expansion of the universe was caused by a massive black hole from a previous universe.

Wait.  What?  A previous universe?

Yeah.  This theory, taken to its logical conclusion has an endless series of universes, each created by a massive black whole from a previous universe.  Like the big fleas who have little fleas to bite 'em, and the little fleas have littler fleas, and so on ad inifinitum...I'm picturing and endless Human Centipede, but with universes instead of human bodies.

Mind blowing. 

Other possible explanations are multiverses, alternate dimensions, and many other things most commonly found in CGI-enhanced big budget movies.

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Here's another theory I came across lately.  Our universe exists at the bottom of a black hole.  As more and more things get sucked into a black hole, nothing can get pout and the bottom of the black hole just keeps expanded infinitely.  One of things expanding infitely at the bottom of a black hole could be our universe, and we'll never know because there is no escaping from a black hole.  If true, could this happen in every black hole, in the large universe our black hole comes from and in the black holes in our universe?  Another case of fleas biting fleas biting fleas? 

"Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine."  Variations of this quotation have been atributed to Werner Heisenberg, Sir Arthur Eddington, J. B. Priestly, J. B. S. Haldane, A. N. Whitehead, and J. D. Schrodinger.  To which I can only add, "True, dat."

The Ides of May:  Today is the Ides of May.  You don't have to beware of the Ides of this month.  The Ides falls on the 15th of March, May, July, and October.  It falls on the 13th of the other months.  It has something to do with the moon, but don't ask me.  The Romans were strange.

Speaking of Romans:  Did you know there one one Roman emporer whp mever aged since the day he turned 19?  You may have heard of him.  They called him Constant Teen.

60 Years Ago:  The final Mercury mission, Mercury-Atlas 9, launched.  Astronaut Gordon Cooper became the first American to spend more than a day in space.  The spececraft, Faith 7, made 22 orbits of the Earth before landing only four miles from the prime recovery shiup.akming this the most accurate landing to date.  There had been some discussion about this mission since the previous mission, Mercury-Atlas 8 with Walter Schirra, had been a near-perfect mission and many at NASA thought they should quit while they were ahead and move on to the Gemini program.  In fact, there were a few blips near the end of the space flight.  A faulty indicator light came on during the 19th orbit; all altitude readings were lost on the 20th orbit; and on the 21st orbit, a short circuit left the automatic stabilization and control system without power.  John Glenn, aboard the tracking ship, helped Cooper prepare a revised checklist for retrofire.  The carbon dioxide level was also rising in the cabin and in Cooper's spacesuit.  Despite these blips, the Mercury program had forfilled all of its goals and plans for a Mercuiry-Atlas 10 launch with Alan Shepard were scrapped as preparations were made to start Gemini.

Birthday Greetings:  Tauri born this day include Lady Mary Wortley Montagu (1689-1762), whose Turkish Embassy Letters described her travels to the Ottoman Empire as the wife of the British ambassador, and who also introduced smallpox innoculation to England; Levi Lincoln, Sr. (1749-1820), Thomas Jefferson's first attorney-general, who advised Jefferson on the Louisiana Purchase; Exakial Hart (1770-1843), Canadian businessman and politician, who became the first Jew elected to public office in the British Empire, and who cause wuite a flapddodle when he took the oath of office swearing on a Tanakh (Hebrew Bible) instead of on a Christian Bible; Debendranath Tagore 1817-1905), Indian philospher, religious reformer, and writer, the father of Nobel Prize-winning poet Rabindranath Tagore;  Elie Metchnikoff (1845-1916), Russian zoologist and co-winner (with Paul Erhlich) of the 1908 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine for his pioneering work in immunology; Victor Vasnetsov (1848-1926), Russian artist considered a founder of the Russian folklorist and romantic nationalist painting some of his work can be viewed on his Wikipedia page  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viktor_Vasnetsov); L. Frank Baum (1856-1919), the Oz guy; Williamina Fleming (1857-1911), American astronomer, who devised a common designation system for stars and cataloged over 10,000 stars, 59 gaseous nebulae, more than 310 variable stars, and ten novae; Pierre Curie (1859-1906), husband of Marie Curie, and a pretty smart guy in his own right; Paul Probst (1869-1945), Swiss traget shooting who won a gold medal in the 1900 Oympics with the Military pistol team for Switzerland; Katherine Anne Porter (1890-1980), author of Ship of Fools and many acclaimed short stories; Mikhail Bulgakov (1891-1940), author of The Master and Margarita and Heart of a Dog; Prescott Bush (1895-1972), banker and politician, father of President George H. W. Bush and Grandfather of President George W. Bush, Florida Governor Jeb Bush, and also the grandfather of Neil Bush, but let's not talk about him; Ida Rhodes (1900-1986), American mathematician and computing pioneer in the analysis of systems of programmibng; Richard J. Daley (1902-1976), Chicago mayor and "the last of the big city bosses"; Clifton Fadiman (1904-1999), American author, editor, and radio and television personality, whose idea it was to publish Robert Ripley's Believe or Not! newsper cartoon into book form, who arranged for the first English-language translation of Felix Salter's Bambi, and who hosted the popular guiz show Information Please!; Joseph Cotton (1905-1994), actor and member of Orson Welles's Mercury Theatre; James Mason (1909-1984), one of my favorite actors; Constance Cummings (1928-1999), acclaimed stage and film actress who will remain forever in my heart as Harroet Vane in Busman's Honeymoon; Turk Broda (1914-1972), Canadian ice hockey player for the Toronto Maple Leafs, 1935-1951 (with time out for WWII), and named one of the 100 Greatest NHL Playersin History and the first goaltender to reach 300 wins; Paul Samuelson (1915-2009), Nobel Prize-winning economist; Eddy Arnold (1918-2008), country music singer and guitarist who sold more than 85 million records. who's biggest hit was "Make the World Go Away"; Richard Avedon (1923-2004), fashion and portrait photographer; Anthon (1926-2001) and Peter (1926-2016), playwrights, Anthony wrote Sleuth and the screenplay for The Wicker Man, Peter wrote The Royal Hunt of the Sun, Equus, and Amadeus, together (as "Peter Anthony") they wrote mystery novels; Jasper Johns (b. 1930). American painter, sculptor, and printmaker (Michael Crichton wrote a book about him); Ken Venturi (1931-2013), golfer and sportscaster who won 14 events on the PGA Tour; Utah Phillips (1935-2008), folksinger and activist, a card carrying member of the IWW; Paul Zindel (1935-2003), playwright and novelist, author of The Effect of Gamma Rays on Man-in-the-

Moon Marigolds, The Pigman, and My Darling, My Hamburger; Madleine Albright (1937-2022), former U.S. Secretary of State; Trini Lopez (1937-2020), singer who covered "If I Had a Hammer," and made it big with "Lemon Tree"; Nancy Garden (1938-2014), children's and young adult author of the lesbian novel Annie on My Mind (she lived one town over from my home town); Roger Ailes (1940-2017), Fox News Chairman, CEO, and dirtbag; Lainie Kazan (b. 1940), actress (My Favorite Year, My Big Fat Greek Wedding; understudy for Barbra Streisand in Funny Girl); Jaxon (Jack Edward Jackson, 1941-2006), underground cartoonist and founder of Rip Off Press; K. T. Oslin (1942-2020), country music singer; Freddie Perrin (1943-2004), song writer and record producer who co-wrote and co-produced "Boogie Fever," "I Will Survive," and "Shake Your Groove Thing"; Jerry Quarry (1945-1999), American boxer whose overall record was 53-9-4, with 32 KOs, whose most famous bouts were against Muhammad Ali, and who suffered a severe case of dimesia pugislitica late in his career; Brian Eno (b. 1948), British musician and composer, one of popular music's most influential artists; Kathleen Sebelius (b. 1948), former Kansas Governor and HHS Secretary; George Brett (b. 1953), third baseman for the Kansas City Royals fro 21 seasons; Mike Oldfield (b. 1953), British musician and songwriter, whose debut album Tubular Bells provided mucis for the film The Exorcist; Dan Patrick (b. 1957) co-host of Football Night in America and anchor of ESPN's SportsCenter; Meg Gardiner (b. 1957), thriller writer and author of the Evan Delany novels and the Jo Beckett series; Ruth Marcus (b. 1958), journalist with The Washington Post since 1984, currently Deputy Editorial Page Editor and Op-Ed columnist; Lauren Hillebrand (b. 1967), author of Seabiscuit:  An American Legend; Ahmet Zappa (b. 1974), American musician and author, son of Frank; David Krumholtz (b. 1978), he played Charlie Eppes in Numb3rs; Zara Tindal (b. 1981), British equestrian and Olympian, daught of Anne, Princess Royal and Captain Mark Phillips, and 20th in line for the throne; Jamie-Lynn Sigler (b. 1981), Meadow Soprano on The Sopranos; and Chase Hudson (b. 2002), also known as "Huddy," Tik-Tok music influencer (Is that really a thing?  Not in my geezer neighborhood).

National Chocolate Chip Day:  They're not just for cookies.  Here's 30 recipes to tempt you.

https://www.purewow.com/food/chocolate-chip-dessert-recipes

Early Pogo:  Here's an early example of Walt Kelly's Pogo Possum and Albert Alligator, from back in the days of Bumbazine, the little boy who lived at the edge of the swamp.  From such crude beginnings genius was born.

Animal Comics #1 (December 1942):

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1N1eh84uz-6H3Rvr5pRWedO53rM9Cm5_p/view

Florida Man:

•  Florida Man Zachery Waldo was on trial for manslaughter when he went out to lunch and did not return.  Waldo was accused of causing the deaths of three people when the pickup truck he was driving crashed into a passenger car on December 25, 2019.  Waldo took his extended lunch break in March; police caught up him two weeks ago.
• Florida Man and Dentist Eddie Orobitg, 52, was arrested for allegedly bludgeoning Dr. Joseph Civak at Harbor Hills Golf Club in Lake County.  The argument started as Civak and his wife were takling a walk along the gold cart path.  Orobitg, who is known as a dentist with a "light touch," told police that the fracus had started with Civak attacking him.Civak suffered a fractured cheekbone, broken ribs, and a ripped earlobe.Florida gold courses may be a breeding ground for vilence.  At the Cleveland Heights Golf Course in Lakeland, where fists started flying and feet started kicking during a scuffle.  No word on what caused the fight but video is making its rounds non the internet.  And, earlier this year, police chased a Florida Man through the Orange Blossom Hills Golf and Cpountry Clib after the man, Jessie Webb, 29, stole a Community Watch vehicle after reportedly running around and shouting that people were trying to eat his brain.  After zipping through the golf club, the chase lead police through town un til Webb crashed the SUV into the side of a retirement home.  The country club reported several thousands of dollars worth of damages.
• Florida Man Dave Hughes, 70,  entered and won a woman's poker tournament at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino.  Eighty-two of the eighty-three competitors were women.  Hughes was allowed to enter because anti-discrimination laws prevent Florida casinos from baning men from entering a woman's tournament.  Hughes defeated Dayanna Ciabaton to win a tot6al of $5.500 in the World Series of Poker Ladies' event, which has a $10,000 buy-in, although women get a 90% discount in the hopes of preventing males to compete.
• Florida Man David Knight, 60, a professor at the Florida Institute of Technol;ogy in Melbourne, has resigned following his arrest for lewd and lascivious behavior,  aggravated stalking of a child under 16, and disorderly conduct.  Allegedly, Knight would follow young girls while pushing a shopping cart in Walmart, take photos of them from behind, and then would walk to a corner of the store and "touch himself."  Knight admitted to the behavior and told deputies that he had been doing this for over one year.  
• In Gainesville, an unidetified 54-year-old Florida Man stole a Cadallac hearse frpm a funeral home and then crashed it.  Multiple vehicles were involved in the crash but there were no serious injuries.
• Florida Man Michael Barr was spotted by Volusia Sheriff's officers driving a SUV reportedly stolen in Kissimmee.  Barr had gotten off at a Volusia County exit because he was trying to get a wi-fi connection.  As police chased him, Barr jumped out of the moving vehicle, which crashed into a building.  Police located him at a nearby motel, where they found he had a gun in his possession.  Barr is being held without bail in a facility that also has no wi-fi connection for him/

Good News:

•  Canadian family turns old school into hydroponic farm, proving fresh vegetables for the whole town      https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/canadian-family-turns-old-school-into-hydroponic-farm-growing-fresh-veggies-even-in-winter-for-the-whole-town/
• Practicing and listening to music can slow cognitive decline in healthy seniors by producing more gray matter      https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/practicing-and-listening-to-music-can-slow-cognitive-decline-in-healthy-seniors-by-producing-more-gray-matter/
• Greece makes hundreds of beaches accessible to wheelchairs by providing self-operating ramps into the water      https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/greece-makes-hundreds-of-beaches-accessible-to-wheelchairs-with-self-operating-ramps-into-the-water/
• First of its kind brain surgery on baby inside the womb has successfully prevented heart failure      https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/first-of-its-kind-brain-surgery-on-baby-inside-the-womb-has-successfully-prevented-heart-failure/
• Formerly homeless hero stops baby carriage moments before it rolls into traffic      https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/formerly-homeless-hero-stops-runaway-baby-stroller-moments-before-it-rolls-into-traffic/
• Mars rover discovers liquid salt water on the Red Planet for the first time      https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/mars-rover-discovers-liquid-salt-water-on-the-red-planet-for-the-first-time/

Today's Poem:

Apatosaurus

A huge reptile

With tree trunk legs

And a l o n g  neck

Stomps slowly

Across the plains

Low growing plants

Are swallowed

And a long, slender tail

Sways above the grass.

-- "Fae"

(Today is National Dinosaur Day)

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

 BLESS YOU ALL.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DlWo25Q-_A

ROBOTMEN OF THE LOST PLANET #1 (FEBRUARY 1952)

Although this comic book is designated as #1, there was no #2 issued, making this basically a one-shot from Avon Periodicals.  The storyline is complete, leading me to suspect that the book had always been intended as a one-shot.

The main story, presented in three parts, was written by Walter B. Gibson, the magician and author best known for creating The Shadow.  Artist Gene Fawcett worked for various comic book publishers in the 40s and 50s, did magazine art for such publications as Famous Fantastic Mysteries and Amazing Stories in the 50s, drew the newsper strip Our New Age from 1961 to 1975 before returning to comic book work.

Here's a brief summary of all three parts from the inside front cover:  "Hiding in caves, the humans had to build a weapon strong enough to destroy the menace that had stolen their world.  Human blood ran in the gutters of all the great cities of the Earth as mass executions were held everywhere!  'The Massacre of the Humans!'  Once-proud humans were huntedthrough the forests like beasts!  But growing within them was the will to rise and master the world.  'The Robots Rule the Earth!' The human brain has always lifted mankind above the lower species.  In humanity's darkest hour, can it lead to "The Rise of the Humans'?"

And the introduction to Chapter One:  "Once there was a great civilization here on Earth!  Huge cities, wonderful science, atomic research!  Man worked hard!  And then he invented robots -- synthetic, thinking creatures built in his own likeness -- to do all his work for him so that he could live only for pleasure!  That was wrong and dangerous!  But the work-free humans could not realize it -- until the terrible challenge came, and man's world was taken from him!  The Fall of mankind!  The new era of the.....Robotmen of the Lost Planet"

It's the wedding day for Alan Arc and Nara.  A robot comes with a message for the couple; Alan's father, a scientist who had once been in charge of the robot factory, had summoned them.  The robots are exceeding their production orders, "creating themselves unchecked."  The robots are beginning to act strangely and Alan's father fears they may be building weapons.  Soon the robots revolt, killing humans.  A few survivors, including Alan and Nara hide in caves.  Five years pass.  Working from his father's journals, Alan is able to make synthetic robot flesh to disguise himself as one of them.  Will this help  lead mankind into overthrowing the yoke of the robots?

A little bit about the robots.  They tower over humans and have human bodies.  They all appear male and wear trousers and boots and a wide belt; they are shirtless.  Their bald heads are huge ovals, with wide googly eyes and a button-like nose.  Their mouths are weird fixed openings.  Their ears project outward to wide, circular receivers.  Their heads have some resmblance to the Panic Pete po-out rubber squeese dols of the 1950s.  (Check it out.  Here's the Wikipedia page for Panic Pete:  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panic_Pete)

Also included i  this comic book is a three-page story, "An Accident at Devil's Gorge Lab!"

Enjoy.

https://comicbookplus.com/?dlid=69411

FORGOTTEN BOOKS: GUTTER ROAD/YOU CAN'T STOP ME

Gutter Road by Robert Silverberg (originally published as by "Don Elliott," 1964) and You Can't Stop Me by Robert Silverberg (originally published as Lust Lover by "Dan Eliot," 1963)

Up until last month, these two titles had been forgotten books, then Stark House reissued them at the beginning of April in one volume as part of their Noir Classics line.  Both were among the 190 erotic paperbacks that Silverberg penned in the 1950s and 1960s, mainly for various imprints of William Hamling's Greenleaf Publishing.  These softcore novels provided a reliable training ground for many writers who would go on to bigger and better things, including Lawrence Block, Donald E. Westlake, Evan Hunter, John Jakes, Marion Zimmer Bradley, Harlan Ellison, Hal Dresner, and Arnold Hano.  (Hamling's company also issued Regency Books, a paperback line that issued books by Robert Bloch, Avram Davidson, Robert Sheckley, "Cordwainer Smith," B. Traven, Philp Jose Farmer, Algis Budrys, and Clarence Cooper, Jr., among others; he also published the men's magazine Rogue, and early in his career several science fiction magazines, including Imagination and Imaginative Tales.)

Silverberg's erotic novels (he would typically write one about every two weeks -- along with his other works) were a sexed-up version of noir.  His descriptions were vague enough to be enticing but never truly graphic.  A blurb on the back cover of the Stark House edition nails it:  "Sexier than anything written today, with the best parts hidden, like the best writers do."  The books also serve as morality plays (immorality plays?) in which those doing bad things according to the standards of the time usually get their comeuppance, sometime violently, sometime ironically.  Beacuase these are erotic novels, there is a lot of sex -- sex in every way, shape, and form to keep things interesting.  (Really kinky, weird sex is usually glossed over in favor of the more mainsteam sort.)  Still, the reader gets more than his (seldom is it her) share of heaving bosoms, tight smooth buttocks, and deep-set navels.

Gutter Road tells the tale of Fred Bauman, a married accountant with a teen-aged daughter.  On his way home from work, he gives a ride to a young woman who seduces him.  It's the first time he's broken his marriage vows in 17 years of marriage.  The girl blackmails him, threatening to accuse him of rape and threatening to tell his wife.  The girl has used this con before, and it has kept her and her "boyfriend" with a steady flow of money.  Fred, meanwhile, struggles to come up with the cash as his imagination sees his marriage and his career going down the drain.  At home, Fred's wife is a secret alcoholic who has begun a torrid affair with a neighbor.  His daughter has become obsessed with sex, which leads her to a terrible confrontation.  Soon there's violence and murder, which spawns additional murder.  As the book spins to its conclusion, no one is getting off lightly.

You Can't Stop Me starts with Lou Andreas comitting rape and murder -- the fifty-eighth he has committed in the ten years since he was 17.  Lou targets only prositutes, believing he is punishing them for a humiliating experience he had in high school.  As a traveling salesman, he targets his victims in various cities across the country, with seldom more than one victim in a city, and often spaced out over time to avoid setting a pattern.  In between murders, he has casual sex but never with prostitutes.  At one time, he challenged himself to kill a prostitute in every city that housed a major league baseball team (this was back in the late fifties-early sixties, remember -- fewer teams back then).   We flash back to his various murders.  Three while he was in high school.  Another the night he enlisted in the army to avoid marrying his high school sweetheart whom he had impregnated.  Another half dozen or so during his two years in the Army.  And on and on.  Sex and death become merged in his mind.  Sometimes death instead of sex.  At least once, sex after death.  Usually he strangled his victims.  Sometimes he opted for a more bloody way of murder.  Murder had become both casual and calculating.  Then he came across the hooker who had started his murder spree by laughing at him back when he was 17.  After ten years and 58 bodies, he was ready for payback.

Both novels come across almoist comically as male fantasies, with You Can't Stop Me serving also as a revenge fantasy.  While the fantasies are presented in broad strokes, Silverberg hones in on realistic details and personal trauma to make both books compelling reads.

Robert Silverberg is best known as one of the most accomplished science fiction writers of our time.  One basic theme that runs through most of his SF work is that of redemption.  You will find no redemption for the protgonists in these two books.