SHORT STORY WEDNESDAY: EIGHT SPELLS A WEEK

 Eight Spells a Week, anonymously edited (Sabrina the Teenage Witch #17; Archway Paperbacks, 1999)

Sabrina the Teenage Witch was a comic book character who premiered in Archie comics universe in Archie's Madhouse #22 (October 1962).  I had aged out by that time.  Never read her.  the Sabrina the Teenage Witch comic book ran from 1971 to 1983 for 77 issues.  I read nary a one.

A younger version, Sabrina -- the Cute Little Witch, appeared in the Little Archie comics.  Again, I was too old.  Never read her.

In 1970, The Sabrina the Teenage Witch Show was an animated series on CBs, running for four seasons.  But, hey, I was a grown-up with a new family, so nope.

Sabrina, the Teenage Witch became a live action television show on September 27, 1996 on ABC for four seasons.  It moved to the WB for its final three seasons, ending on April 24, 2003.  It starred no-longer-a teenager Melissa Joan Hart (formerly of Clarissa Explains It All -- never saw that one -- and later of Melissa and Joey -- again, never saw this one) as Sabrina.  Needless to say, I never saw this one either.  There were also three mad-for-television films, none of which I saw.

A new run of the comic book began shortly after the television premiere.  This one ran for 32 issue from 1997 to 1999.  Again, this flew under my radar. 

Hart was also the primary voice on Sabrina:  The Animated Series for all of its 65 episodes on ABC and UPN in 1999.  Nope, never had a glimpse of that one, either.  The final 199 issue of the comic book provided a bridge for a new comic book series, beginning in January 2000, based on the animated series.  This one was titles Sabrina, and it lasted for 37 issues before being retrofitted as Sabrina the Teenage Witch for another 20 issues; it was then turned into a manga comic, which lasted until issue #104 in September 2009.  Not a single issue passed under my soulful brown eyes.

Along the way Sabrina made many appearances throughout the Archie-verse, but none that I saw.

In 2013, the Hub Network ran Sabrina:  Secrets of a Teenage Witch for one season before the producers went bankrupt.  Never saw it.

The comic book The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, a darker reimagining of the character, began in October 2014.  It is still ongoing.  Never read it. 

In 2017, it was announced that a Sabrina one-shot would be published as part of the "New Riverdale" reimagining, which updated the characters in the Archie-verse to be more realistic and have more mature themes.  The one-shot never happened.  Finally, in 2018, a five-issue mini-series came out to great acclaim.  It was followed by a 2020 min-series and a Sabrina Winter Special.

Also in 2017, a live-action series of The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, featuring Kiernan Shipka in the title role, was picked up by Netflix for a two0-season run.  Netflix finally aired the series in four parts, from  October 26, 2018 to December 31, 2020.  This one I did watch.  My considered opinon:  meh.

Clearly I am not part of the Sabrina demographic.

So why read an anthology of stories published for the YA audience, but clearly meant for even younger readers? 

Two words:  Ray Garton.

Sabrina has had a long publishing history:  fifty original novels and two collections, from 1997 to 2003, in the original series, six books based on television episodes, fifteen books in the Sabrina the Teenage Witch: Salem's Trials series, and four miscellaneous titles.  That does not count various collections from the comic books and manga series, nor does it count the three recent The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina tie-in titles.

Ray Garton, who passed way far too soon this past April at age 61, was an accomplished horror novelist.  He was named World Horror convention Grand Master in 2006.  In addition to his 25 horror books and two collections, he penned four film novelizations, nine young adult novels (eight under the pseudonym "joseph Locke." which he used to prevent his YA audience from accidently reading his books that were geared for a much older audience), and three anthologies.  (One of his novels, The Dark Place:  The Story of a True Haunting, had been published as non-fiction.  Garton had been hired by spiritualist shysters Ed and Lorraine Warren to write the story of the Snedecker's, a family whose home was supposedly haunted by anal-rapist demons, and of the Warrens' involvement in the case.  When Garton complained that the family  was making wildly contradictory claims, the Warrens told him to "use what works and make the rest up.  And make it scary."  When Garton announced his role in the book, the Warrens and the Snedeckers denounced him.  At one time, The Dark Place was listed as one of the most sought after books on Abebooks.  BTW, Ed Gorman was also a ghost for the Warrens, and I doubt his experience was any more positive.)

Anyway, Garton penned three of the Sabrina the Teenage Witch novels (two under the Joseph Locke pseudonym), as well as the story in this collection.  When I was looking for something by Garton to read, this anthology came to light; most of my other Garton books are in storage.

The conceit of Eight Spells a Week is that Sabrina accidently breaks a magic mirror.  For a mortal, this would mean seven years of bad luck, but as a half-witch Sabrina is to face only seven days of bad luck  -- super bad luck, unfortunately.  Each of the episodes is written by authors who have contributed earlier to the paperback series.'

Sunday:  The Mirror Crack'd Up" by Nancy Holder.  Sabrina is to attend her high schools annual Mother-Daughter-Primary-Caregiver/Court-Appointed-Guardian/Parole-Officer/Big Sister Tea.  Because Sabrina's mother is a mortal, she is forbidden to see Sabrina before her 18th birthday, or she (the mother, not Sabrina) will be turned into a ball of wax.  No problem, because her mother is on an archeology dig in Peru and Sabrina's Aunt Zelda was to attend with her.  Zelda is called away on with business at the last moment and Sabrina does not want to go alone because the mean girls would make fun of her.  So she magically transports her mother to the high school.  All she has to do is not been seen by her mother.  Nancy Holder is a popular writer of tie-in novels, most notably in the Buffy-verse; she has written four novels and one collection about Sabrina.

"Monday:  The Interview" by Diana G. Gallagher.  Sabrina intends to interview a world-famous author for her school paper.  After she has committed to the interview, she discovers that the author absolutely refused to interviews with anyone at any time.  Diana Gallagher has written television tie-ins for Nickelodeon's Are You Afraid of the Dark?, the Buffy-verse, Charmed, Smallville, Sonic X, Star Trek, The Journey of Allen Strange, and The Secret World of Alex Mack, as well as eleven Sabrina tie-ins.

"Tuesday:  Smitten" by Ray Garton.  Sabrina's on-again, off-again human boyfriend (as opposed to her on-again, off-again half-witch boyfriend) appears to have gone completely ga-ga over a new girl in school and Sabrina is jealous.  Sabrina does not want to go back to going steady with him, but then again...she decides to use a spell to get him to temporarily fall for a girl he could never care for.  Spells can't go go awry, can they?

"Wednesday:  Love Canal" by Mel Odom.  Wanting to get away from his bad luck for a while (and figuring the bad luck would not travel with her), Sabrina decides to of on a dream date with her  sometimes-boyfriend, Harvey.  Enchanting him to believe he is dreaming all of this, she transports the two of them (and Salem, her familiar) to Venice.  Unfortunately, a television crew from a popular show in her hometown is also there and photographs Harvey knocking the venetians dead with his karaoke version of a Monkee's song...and they plan to air it the next morning.  Mel Odom has written dozens of books in a variety of fields:  action-adventure, computer strategy guides, fantasy, game-related fiction, juvenile movie novelizations, science fiction, and young adult, as well as comics.  Among his many books are seven novels in the Buffy-verse and seven Sabrina novels.

":Thuirsday:  Thursday's Child Works for a Living" by Mark Dubowski.  For five weeks the school's Spirit Club had been working on a special prop for the upcoming pep rally and football game -- a ten-foot long, mechanized version of the school mascot, the Fighting Scallion (the mascot was mean to be a Fighting Stallion, but a typo back in the school's history changed that).  Tresting the animated Scallion, Sabrina accidently blows its motor.  It will cost $50 to get a new motor and the Spirit Club's coffers has only $2.50.  How can Sabrina come up with $50 fast?   She manages to get a job assembling the popular Puzzle Dolls, which have become a fad akin to Beanie Babies and Cabbage Patch Kids.  the orders are too much for the staff to handle and the company may go under.  Can Sabrina save the company and earn her 450 without resorting to magic?   Mark Dubowski has written fiction and nonfiction for young adults and children, including three Sabrina tie-ins, two of them with his wife, Cathy East Dubowski (who follows).

"Friday:  The Play's the Thing" by Cathy East Dubowski.  the high school drama club is potting on an adaptation of A Christmas Carol, and are going through a final rundown before the evening's performance.  Sabrina trips, knocks over a ladder, and gets a bucket of paint spilled on both the cast and the set.  The only thing that can save the show is a bit of Sabrina's magic, but every spell she casts seems to make it worse.  Cathy East Dubowski, wife of Mark Dubowski, has written more than 100 books for children and young adults, specializing in novelizations of movies and literary classics.  She has written ten Sabrina books, including two with her husband.

"Saturday:  Reflections in a Mirror Crack'd Up" by David Cody Weiss and Bobbi JG Weiss.  Sabrina casts a spell to see what her life will be like in the not-too-distant future (as opposed to the near future), sitting in front of her television to watch her future play out.  Did I mention that spells often go awry?  this time, she is sucked into the television and and has to live her future, rather than just watch it.  The authors have collaborated on a number of tie-in franchises, including Smallville, Star Trek, and The Journey of Allen Strange, as well as on eight Sabrina novels.

Because magic and spells can go awry (and for no other reason that I can see), Sabrina's curse of bad luck continues for an eighth day.

"Sunday:  Mom vs. Magic" by David Cody Weiss and Bobbi JG Weiss.  This one is based on one of the television episodes.  Salem is freaking out because his mother is coming to visit and she is unaware that he has been turned from a warlock to a cat as punishment for trying to take over the world.  Meanwhile Zelda and Hilda are on a visit to their mother, who always favored Zelda, and Harvey is having trouble trying to get the perfect gift for his mother.  Sabrina knows she cannot see her mother but she misses her and sends her a letter via magic; that, however, is against the rules, and the Witches Council has decreed that Sabrina must choose:  either never see her mother again or relinquish her witch powers forever.  This one has one line that almost made the entire book worthwhile for me:  "Could you help me buy a present for my mom?  Last time I got her a can opener.  I have to stop taking gift advice from my dad."

So Sabrina's bad luck -- her super bad luck --is nothing much, although i suppose it might be to a sometimes thoughtless teenager.  Sabrina, IMHO, is basically a turnip-brained fathead throughout, but what do I know?  I'm not an eleven-year-old girl form whom this book seems targeted.

There were a few smirks along the way, but basically this falls into the I-read-so-you-don't-have-to category.

Ray Garton's story, by the way, paled in comparison to the three novels he wrote for the series.