A dog walks into bar, goes at the bartender and says, "Hello, I am a talking dog. I'm the only talking dog in the world. I am unique in the annals of history. Not only can I talk, but I am learned and erudite, Surely that entitles me to a free drink."
The bartender looks the dog over, pauses for a few seconds, and says, "Sure. The toilet's the first door on the left."