BAD JOKE WEDNESDAY: EMO PHILLIPS EDITION

• When I went to college, my parents threw a gong away part for me, according to the letter.
• I learned about sex the hard way...from books.
• Countries are making nuclear weapons like there is no tomorrow.
• My parents were very protective; I couldn't even cross the street without them getting all excited...and placing bets.
• I like going to the park and watch the children run and jump around, because you see, they don't know I'm using blanks.
• You know what I don't like...Indian givers...no, I take that back.
• So there I am at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon.
• And always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said, "A truck!"
• I picked up a hitchhiker...you've got to if you hit them.
• A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me with kickboxing.