BITS & PIECES

Openers:  Martha begat Joan, and Joan begat Ariadne.  Ariadne lived and died at home on Pluto, but her daughter, Emma, took the long trip out to a distant planet of an alien sun.

Emma begat Leah, and Leah begat Carla, who was the first to make her bridal voyage thruigh sub-space, a long journey faster than the speed of light itself.

Six women in direct descent -- some brave, some beautiful, some brilliant; smug or simple, willful or compliant, all different, all daughters of Earth, though half of them never set foot on the Old Planet.

-- "Daughters of Earth" by Judith Merril  (first published in the anonymously edited anthology The Petrified Planet, 1952; reprinted in New Worlds and SF Impulse, April 1967, and in Merril's collections Daughters of Earth:  Three Novels (1968), The Best of Judith Merril (1976), and Homecalling and Other Stories:  The Complete Solo Short SF of Judith Merril)

Merril was a highly influential science fiction writer, editor and critic.  She was active in the science fiction field long before she burst into prominence with her classic first story in the genre, "That Only a Mother" (Astounding Science fiction, June 1948); previous to that, she had published a number of stories in the detective, western, and sports pulps.

The Petrified Planet was the second of two "Twayne Triplets" from Twayne Publishing, a shared world anthology (the first) working from the concept of the planet Uller, as envisioned in a preface by John D. Clark, Ph.D. and (uncredited) Fletcher Pratt.  (Pratt is often credited as the editor of this volume by Curry and by The Encyclopedia of Science Fiction, among others, although Virginia Kidd credits John Ciardi with the editorship.  The book contains three novellas by Pratt, H. Beam Piper, and Merril.)

The story concerns a line of women who contributed to humanity's reach to the stars and beyond.  The main portion centers on Emma, who tells of the colonization Uller and of the sacrifices made there; Emma is relating her history for her granddaughter Carla, who is about to embark on an even more dangerous quest.  It's easy to call this a feminist story, but at its heart it is a humanist story, one about mankind's drive to seek new frontiers.  "Daughters of Earth" is a personal, powerful, and  emotional story which also maintains a hard science fiction edge.  

Highly recommended.

Incoming:

• Sherman Alexie, Ten Little Indians. Short story collection.  "Sherman Alexie offers nine poignant and emotionally resonant stories about Native Americans who find themselves at personal and cultural crossroads.  In 'The Life and Times of Estelle Walks Above', an Intellectual feminist Spokane Indian woman saves the lives of dozens of white women all around her, to the bewilderment of her only child.  In 'Do You Know Where I Am?' two college sweethearts rescue a lost cat -- a simple act that has profound moral consequences for the rest of their lives together.  In 'What You Pawn I Will Redeem', a homeless Indian man must raise $1,000 in twenty-four hours to buy back the fancy dance outfit stolen from his grandmother fifty years earlier."
• Lauren Beukes, Broken Monsters.  Fantasy novel.  "Detective Gabriella Versado has seen a lot of bodies.  but this one is unique even by Detroit's standards:  half boy, half deer. somehow fused together.  As stranger and more disturbing bodies are discovered, how can the city hold on to a reality that is already tearing at the seams?  If you're Detective Versado's geeky teenage daughter, Layla, you begin a dangerous flirtation with a potential predator online.  If you're the desperate freelance journalist Jonno, you do whatever it takes to get the exclusive on a horrific story.  If you're Thomas Keen, known on the street as TK, you'll do what you can to keep your homeless family safe -- and find the monster who is possessed by a dream of violently remaking the world." 
• Ben Bova, The Star Conquerors.  Juvenile, one of the Winston "Adventures in SF" series.  Bova's first science fiction novel; signed copies without dust jacket are going for $1400(!).  "Explore New Worlds...and Resistance Is Futile...all found their home here first with Star Watch Captain Geoffrey Knowland in what some say is a virtual blueprint for Star Trek."  I'm not sure who the "some" are who are saying this, but maybe they have their wires crossed.  Nonetheless, it's an interesting book.
• Andrea Camilleri, The Terracotta Dog.  An Inspector Salvo Montalbano mystery.  "The Terracotta Dog opens with a mysterious tete-a-tete with a Mafioso, some inexplicably abandoned loot from a supermarket heist, and some dying words that lead Inspector Montalban to a secret grotto in a mountain cave where to young lovers, dead fifty years and still embracing, are watched over by a life-size terracotta dog.  Montalbano's passion to solve this old crime takes him, heedless of personal danger, on a journey through the island's past and into a family's dark heart amid the horrors of World War II."
• Mike Carey, Dead Men's Boots.  The third in the Felix Castor series of paranormal mysteries.  "A brutal murder in King's Cross bears all the hallmarks of a long-dead American serial killer, and it takes more good sense than Castor possesses not to get involved.  He's also fighting a legal battle over the body -- if not the soul -- of his possessed friend, Rafi, and can't hake the feeling that his three problems might be related.  With the help of the succubus Juliet and the paranoid zombie data-fence Nicky Heath, Castor just might have a chance of fitting the pieces together before someone drops him down a lift shaft or rips his throat out.  Or not..."  
• A. Bertram Chandler, John Grimes:  Rim Runner.  Omnibus of four science fiction novels.  "Once a spacer, always a spacer.  and no dirtside job -- even one as nominally glamorous as Commodore of the Rim Worlds Naval Reserve -- can keep a  bred-in-the-bone spaceman like John Grimes out of the void for long.  Older and wiser, he's nonetheless nostalgic for his days in the Survey service, so when the stars call, he gladly leaves the paperwork behind and heads off for adventure.  Now practical, hard-headed Grimes is not the sort to believe in ghosts,  but he's willing to give psychics a chance when shapely Sonya Verrill, a commander in the Federation Survey Service, proposes a ghost-hunting expedition in the sector around Kinsolving's Planet.  Out where the fabric of space and time wears thin, ships have encountered Rim Ghosts -- apparitions of craft and crewmates from alternate universes.  When Grimes organizes a seance to make contact, their ship is yanked Into the Alternate Universe, and their only hope of getting home again may lie in a lost relic -- a sleeper ship from the first age of space exploration.  After their wild ghost chase, Grimes and Sonya embark on a wholly different adventure:  marriage.  But running their own lttle shipping company takes a back seat to danger when a distress call leads the pair to an alien ship from an alternate universe -- a ship carrying Contraband from Outer Space -- mutant rats who evolved to rule their universe...and threaten to break through to ours.  In The Rim Gods, Grimes is drawn into four perilous adventures, when a ship full of religious fanatics uses a psionic to summon God, when a rogue Rim Worlder tries to sell advanced weaponry to the robber barons of Tangaroa, when trouble in the form of a predatory starfish threatens to ruin the economy of Mallise, and when an impossible planet appears out of nowhere -- a world where dragons, fairies, and sleeping beauties are real.  Another visit to Kinsolver's Planet, where the boundaries between reality and surreality are almost non-existent, find The Commodore at Sea.  For he is whisked into a continuum in which fictional characters exist, and he is surprised to meet Sherlock Holmes, Lady Chatterley, Tarzan and Jane, and...A. Bertrtam Chandler?"  The Grimes books are pure fun, and I doubt if anyone was better at transplanting the sea story into outer space.
• Anne Cleeves, Dead Water. A Jimmy Perez mystery.  "The body of journalist Jerry Markham is found, hidden in a boat at the marine.  Detective Inspector Jimmy Perez has been out of the loop, but his interest in this new case is stirred and he decides to help the inquiry.  Markham -- originally a Shetlander who then made a name for himself in London -- had moved away from the island years before.  In his wake, he left a scandal involving a young girl, Evie Watt, who is now engaged to a seaman.  He had few friends n Shetland, so why was he back?  Willow and Jimmy are led to Sullom Voe, the heart of Shetland's North Sea oil and gas industry.  It soon emerges from their investigation that Markham was chasing a story in his final da\ys.  One that must have been significant enough to warrant his death"  I caught this one on my Shetland re-watch a few months ago.
• Eugene Cunningham, Triggernometry:  A Gallery of Gunfighters, with Technical Notes, too, on Leather Slapping as a Fine Art, gathered from many a Loose Holstered Expert over the years  Non-fiction collection of minibiographies.  "In this now classic volume, Eugene Cunningham collects -- in his 'gallery' -- biographies of nearly a score of master gunfighters, including such notables as John Wesley Hardin, Billy the Kid, Dallas Stroudenmire, Sam Bass, Wild Bill Hickok, Butch Cassidy, and Tom Horn.  Himself a westerner with a feel of the pistol and rifle, Cunningham knew firsthand several of the Texas gunfighters featured in his book, the product of more than thirty-five years of research, interviews, and writing.  Cunningham examines the evidence and breaks down the myths surrounding the exploits of Wild Bill Hickok, for example, preferring to find instead the living, breathing human behind the legend.  His final chapter, 'Triggernometry,' remains a fascinating discussion of the gunfighters' expertise with the fast draw and the 'road agent's spin,' pistol fanning, the 'border shift.' 'rolling,' and 'pinwheeling,' and the use of various holsters and harnesses."  First published in 1934, Triggernometry has been cited as one of the best Western Nonfiction Books by the Western Writers of America.
• P. N. Elrod, editor, My Big Fat Supernatural Wedding.  Fantasy anthology with nine stories.  "An 'ordinary' wedding can get crazy enough, so can you imagine what happens when otherworldly creatures are involved? Nine of the hottest authors of paranormal fiction answer that question in this delightful collection of supernatural wedding stories.  What's the plan when rival clans of werewolves and vampires meet under the same roof?  How can a couple in the throes of love overcome traps set by feuding relatives...who are experts in voodoo?  Will you have have a good marriage if your high-class wedding is held on a cursed ship?  How do you deal with a wedding singer who's just a little too good at impersonating Elvis?  Shapeshifters, wizards, and magic.  Oh my!"  Authors include L. A. Banks, Jim Butcher, Rachel Caine, P. N. Elrod, Esther M. Friesner, Charlaine Harris, and Sherrilyn Kenyon.
• Michel Fessier, Fully Dressed and in His Right Mind.  Crime/fantasy novel.  "Johnny Price first meets the little old man at the scene of a streetside murder.  The little old man confesses that it was he who shot the man, and Johnny figures he's either drunk or crazy.  He stops in at a bar, and there is the little old man again.  Johnny starts running into him everywhere.  He can't shake him.  when Johnny meets the artist Dorgan and invites him to move in with him, Dorgan is intrigued by the little old man as well, and wants to paint him.  Johnny's life becomes further complicated when on night he sees a naked young lady swimming in a lake in the park.  He tries to talk to her, but she dives back and swims away.  But Johnny persists, and eventually discovers that he name is Trelia, and that she swims naked in the lake most every night.  Dorgan wants to paint her too.  But the little old man has plans for Johnny, and neither Dorgan nor Trelia can help him.  Because once the little old man casts his green eyes on Jonny, he might as well give up hope!"  Also included in this edition are thee short stories from Manhunt from 1953.  Fessier was a screenwriter and film producer.  Of this book, historian Bruce Catton wrote, "The effect is as surprising and stimulating as a smack in the hoot-nanny with an ice-cold wash cloth" -- whatever that means.
• John C. Hocking, Conan:  City of the Dead.  Collection of two Conan novels.  "In Conan and the Emerald Lotus, the seeds of a deadly addictive plant grant sorcerers immense powers, but turn its users into inhuman killers.  In the exclusive long-awaited sequel, Conan and the living Plague, a Shemite wizard seeks to create a serum to use as a lethal weapon.  Instead he unleashes a hideous monster on the city of Dulcine.  Hired to loot the city of its treasures, Conan and his fellows in the mercenary troop find themselves trapped in the depths of the city's keep.  To escape, they must defeat the creature, its plague-wracked undead followers, then face Lovecraftian horrors beyond all imagination."  When it comes to recommending action-packed adventure, no one knows their beans better than James Reasoner, who featured this book on his blog this past Friday. and who recommended this very highly.  If Reasoner recommends it, I'm there!
• Raymond F. Jones, Planet of Light.  Juvenile, one of the Winston "Adventures in Science Fiction" series; as sequel to Son of the Stars.  "The story follows Rod Barron and his family as they are taken to a planet in the Great Galaxy of Andromeda to participate in a meeting of an intergalactic analogue of the United Nations.  They face the question if Earth is ready to join an intergalactic society."  Great stuff when I was twelve years old and probably still great.
• Gerald Kersh, Clock Without Hands, The Horrible Dummy and Other Stories, Karmesin:  The World's Greatest Criminal -- or the Most Outrageous Liar, and Neither Dog Nor Man:  Short Stories.  George the Tempter posted a review of this author last Wednesday, reminding me of all the great Kersh short stories I have yet to read.  Previously almost forgotten, Kersh is having a revival thanks to publishers such as Valancourt Books, Faber & Faber, and London Books, so I was able to easily get e-book versions of these four collections.  Harlan Ellison cited Kersh as his favorite author, " a talent so immerse and compelling," and Anthony Boucher wrote that Kersh was "incapable of writing a dull sentence."  Thank you, George for spurring me on and tempting me...
• Tom King, Vision, Vol. 2:  Little Better Than a Beast.  Graphic novel based on Marvel characters.  "Once upon a time, a robot and a witch fell in love.  And then some pretty bad things happened.  but the story of Vision and Scarlet Witch was just the start.  Because now, Vision has built a new life for himself -- a new family.  Yet while every family has its share of skeletons in the closet, for the Visions those skeletons are real.  And now the family's facade is crumbling.  the Avengers knew the truth.  That Vision's wife has killed.  That he lied to protect her.  And that lie will follow lie, death will pile upon death.  the Avengers know they need to act.  Tragedy is coming and it will send the Android Avenger into a devastating confrontation with Earth's Mightiest Heroes.  Nobody is safe."
• Ursula Le Guin, Gifts.  Young adult science fiction novel.  "Scattered among poor, desolate farms, the families of the Uplands possess gifts.  Wondrous gifts:  the ability -- with a glance, a gesture, a word -- to summon animals, bring forth fire, move the land.  Fearsome gifts:  They can twist a limb, chain a mind, inflict a wasting illness. the Uplanders live in constant fear that one family might unleash its gift against another.  Two young people, friends since childhood, decide not to use their gifts.  One, a girl, refuses yo bring animals to their deaths in the hunt.  The other, a boy, wears a blindfold least his eyes and his anger kill...Le Guin writes of the cruelty of power, of how hard it is to grow up, and of how much harder still it is to find, in the world's darkness, gifts of light."
• Frances and Richard Lockridge, Curtain for a Jester.  A Mr. and Mrs. North mystery.  "M r. Byron Wilmot was well-known for his practical jokes.  so no one was surprised when his part on April Fool's Day was filled with jokes and tricks.  But they were surprised when Pam North found Wilmot dead the next morning.  When the malicious intent behind many of Wilmot's jokes was discovered, the list of suspects grew.  Anyone who had been humiliated by him could have wished him harm.  That was understandable,  But Pam believed the red-headed dummy used in a trick at the party was a clue -- or perhaps it was just a red herring.  Once again, the Norths are involved in a mystery where everything is not what it appears to be.  Will Pam's uncanny ability to observe the most subtle clues lead them to the answer in time or, will the killer have the last laugh?"  Showing my age, but I cannot read this series without picturing Barbara Britton as Pam.
• Ellen MacGregor & Dora Pantell, Miss Pickerell and the Last World, Miss Pickerell and the Supertanker, Miss Pickerell Meets Mr. H.U.M., Miss Pickerell on the Moon, Miss Pickerell Tackles the Energy Crisis, Miss Pickerell Takes the Bull By the Horns, and Miss Pickerell to the Earthquake Rescue.  Juveniles about everybody's favorite no-nonsense, get-it-done spinster heroine and her cow.  You may have to have been of a certain age to remember this character, but remember her I do, and fondly.  This was one part of my youth that was not misspent.  A dash of humor and a dash of science education.  MacGregor died after publishing the fourth book in the series; Pantell later took over the series using MacGregor's notes.
• Rob MacGregor, Spawn.  Tie-in to the movie based upon the comic book character.  "Once Al Simmons worked for the government as a sold and efficient assassin.   but he wanted something his top-secret agency could never allow:  He wanted out.  So the people he trusted with his life led him into an ambush -- and his life ended in a rush of terrible flames.  Now he has come back -- to the street where he once lived -- to the woman he once loved...to the traitors who destroyed his body but not his soul.  Al Simmons, though, isn't Al Simmons, anymore.  With a new body forged in the flames of Hell, he's an unstoppable weapon for chaos and destruction.  Reborn, relentless, without a master, he must fight the dark objective for which he was resurrected in order to prevent the approaching Armageddon.  He is...SPAWN."
• Barry N. Malzberg, Collecting Myself: The Uncollected Stories of Barry N. Malzberg.  Thirty-five previously uncollected stories.  Malzberg may not be everyone's taste but his talent shines through with every word.  From The Enclopedia of Science Fiction:  "Malzberg's writing is unparalled in its intensity  and in its apocalyptic sensibility...he is a maser of balck humor, and is one of the few writer to have used sf's vocabulary of ideas extensively as apparatus in psychological landscapes, dramatizing relationships between the human mind and its social environment in an sf theatre of the absurd."  Also included is a bibliography of books by Malzberg (many under pseudonyms) through 2013; since this book was published this year, it's a shame the bibliography has not been updated.
• Alan E, Nourse, Trouble on Titan.  Juvenile, part of the Winston "Adventures in Science Fiction" series.  "When Tuck Benedict and David Torm faced each other on the bleak and frigid face of titan, Saturn's sixth moon, they represented, literally [literally, really? -- JH}, the opposite ends of the universe.  For in the twenty-second Century, Tuck represented the rich and easy civilization of an Earth that had grown luxurious by utilizing solar energy through a catalytic mineral produced in Titan's grim mines.  David Torm, whose ancestors had been exiled to Titan centuries before, stood for the hardened Titan colonists who huddled beneath their airtight dome to mine the metal responsible for Earth's prosperity.  Meeting on the eve of an open revolt by the Titan miners against Earth's authority, these two teenagers found grounds for friendship that their bnickering fathers could never see." 
• Ian Rankin, Beggars Banquest.   Collection of 22 crime stories, including eight featuring Inspector Rebus.  One story, "Death Is not the End," had been expanded into the 1999 novel Dead Souls.
• James Sallis, Ghost of a Flea.  A Lew Griffin mystery.  "A man stands in a darkened room in New Orleans. looking out through a window, seeing the past.  There's a body on the bed behind him:  wind pecks at the window, traffic sounds drift aimlessly ion.  the man thinks that if he doesn't speak, doesn't think about what happened, somehow things will be all right again.  He thinks about his own life, about the other's, about how the two of them came to be here.  Lew Griffin is alone...or almost so.  His relationship with Deborah is falling apart; his son, David, has disappeared again, leaving a note that sounds final.  His friend Dan Walsh, who is leaving the police department, is shot interrupting a robbery.  And Lew is directionless.  He hasn't written anything in years:  he no longer teaches...there's nothing to fill his days.  Even the attempt to discover the source of threatening letters to a friend leaves him feeling roofless and lost..."
• John Saul, Creature.  Horror novel.  "A powerful high-tech company.  A postcard-pretty company town.  Families.  Children.  Sunshine.  Happiness.  A high-school football team that never-ever loses.  And something else.  Something horrible...  Now there is a new family in town.  a shy nature-loving teenager.  A new hometown.  A new set of bullies.  Maybe the team's sports clinic can help him.  Rebuild him.  They won't hurt him again.  They won't dare."
• Robert Silverberg, Jungle Street and Running with the Barons.  Collection of two crime erotica novels from the 60s originally published as by "Don Elliot."  Jungle Street (originally published as Sex Jungle):  "Danny Flaherty's family moves to a new neighborhood, so he's out of the Shining Sinner, and looking to get into the Golden Dragons.  Getting into a new gang mans an initiation. and Danny's ready for whatever they've got in mind.  Mike Reilly, the Prez of the Dragons, first asks Danny to infiltrate a neighboring gang.  Easy.  Then he's asked to participate in a robbery.  Not so easy.  He has to hit the owner on the head with a bottle, and now the guy's in a coma.  Could be worse.  But the final initiation is the tricky one -- Danny's got to make it with three Dragon debs in front of the whole gang.   And that's how he meets Lisa, Reilly's girl,.  It's all been kicks up to now.  but Danny has big plans and nobody's going to stop him from taking what he wants."  Running with the Barons (originally published as The Passion Barons):  "Marty Capuano might be short but he was a big man  in his Lower East side gang.  Now his family is living in Jenkinsville, Ohio, and he feels like he's been banished to Nowheresville.  So he goes looking for a new gang and finds the Dragons.  Marty is the best there is with a  blade,. and he makes pretty short work  of the Dragon's prez.  Now he's sitting on top again, with the former prez's deb, Jojo, and the fear and respect of the whole gang.  But this is only the beginning .  there's a snooty chick named Jill who snubbed him when he first hit town, and she's got to be brought down a notch ...and there's the bartender who wouldn't serve him a beer...Marty still has a lot of folks to get even with, and he's only just started."  Silverberg wrote hundreds of these paperback originals back in the day and they all read well for what they were.  This edition has an eight-page bibliography of Silverberg's books through 2014.
• Keith Thomson, Pirates of Pensacola.  A swash-buckling parody with "rum, eye patches, peg legs, and a wisecracking parrot in need of a twelve-step program."  How could I resist?
• James Thurber, Thurber on Crime.  A collection of stories, articles, drawings, and reflections, edited by Robert Lopresti.  An assemblage of wonderful, witty, and wise bits about crime, murder, humanity, men, women, dogs, and other things by a humorist who -- in my humble opinion -- ranks second only to P. G. Wodehouse.
• [Uncredited], Why Do we Say It?  The  Stories Behind the Words, Expressions and Cliches We Use.  Just what the title says.  Alphabetically, it runs from "A-1" to "Zest," with stops along the wat for such words as "flibbetigibbet" and "pants," and such phrases as "pull one's leg" and "son-of-a-gun."  Lest we think we are getting of easily, there are also ten quizzes on various words and phrases.
• Donald E. Westlake,  Baby, Would I Lie?  Comic crime novel, a follow-up to Westlake's Trust Me on This.  "Branson, Missouri, is the home of Country Music, USA.  Its main drag is lined with theaters housing such luminaries as Roy Clark, Loretta Lynn, and Merle Haggard -- but you'd better get there early because the late show's at eight.  Branson is one big long traffic jam of R.V.'s, station wagons, pickup trucks, NRA decals, tour buses, and blue-haired grand mothers.  Now Branson just got a little more crowded.  Because the murder trial of country and western star Ray Jones is about to begin, and the media has come loaded for bear.  The press presence ranges from the Weekly Galaxy, the most unethical newsrag in the universe, to New York City's Trend:  The Magazine of the Way We Live This Instant.  in the middle of the melee stands Ray Jones himself, an inscrutable good ol' boy who croons like an angel but just may be as guilty as sin-- of the rape and murder of a 31-year-old theater cashier.  Sara Joslyn, of Trend, isn't sure about Ray.  The sardonic Jack Ingersoll, her editor and lover,  is sure of this much:  this time he's going to do an expose that will nail the Weekly Galaxy to the wall.  A phalanx of reporters and editors from the Galaxy are breaking every rule, and a few laws, to get the inside story on Ray Jones's trial.  Meanwhile, the IRS is there, too.  They want all of Ray Jones's money, no matter what the jury decides.  Set to the beat of America's down-home music, as raucous as a smoke-filled honky-tonk, as funny as grown men in snakeskin boots, Baby, Would I Lie? is a murder mystery, a courtroom thriller, a caper novel, and a classic Westlake gem."

Froggy Bottom:  From 1929, here's Andy Kirk and His Twelve Clouds of Joy:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8fjcIzc9j4

Here Comes Summer:  Now that summer's here, it's time to do some serious thinking about cookouts.  There are few things better about summer than cookouts and/or barbeques.  Here are some thirty ideas that will take you a bit beyond the usual burgers and brats -- hamburgers with zing, barbequed baked beans, cool and creamy macaroni salad, grilled pineapple and grilled watermelon, rosemary roasted potatoes, deviled egg potato salad, cracker barrel grilled chicken tenders, corn salad, Mexican street corn, green beans with smoky bacon, beer can chicken, Coca Cola pulled pork, Mexican hot dogs, Caprese salad, copycat KFC cole slaw, Buffalo chicken wings, broccoli salad, crispy smashed potato salad, fall of the bone ribs, shrimp salad, three bean salad, arugula salad, Alton Brown guacamole, oven roasted asparagus, fried apples, Chick-Fil-A lemonade, fruit salad (shades of The Wiggles!), caramel apple crisp, and chocolate covered bananas.

Is your mouth watering yet?

https://insanelygoodrecipes.com/cookout-food/

Boys Beware:  June is Pride Month, set aside to celebrate and commemorate lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender pride -- although as with Black History Month, Women's History Month, and similar celebrations, gay pride should be celebrated year long.  The things that set some apart are the things that collectively make us all human, and that's a good thing, isn't it?

Civil rights, women's rights, reproductive rights, labor rights, privacy rights, religious rights, and so on have come a long way, even though sometimes it feels like we are taking a step backwards.  To illustrate this, here's an "educational" video put out by the Inglewood Police Department and the Inglewood Unified School District in the 1950s warning about the danger of homosexuals because they're all out to get you.  It's a trippy piece of propaganda and fear mongering.  (One should always, however, keep in mind "stranger danger" -- but, geez, Louise, let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater.)

We should be thankful that we have moved beyond knee-jerk prejudice and hatred, believing that all hsmosexuals are out there grooming kids.  Well, most of us.  In most of the country.  I hope.

https://www.bing.com/videos/riverview/relatedvideo?q=classic+school+education+films&mid=60B45667A4AD0C0FBF4660B45667A4AD0C0FBF46&FORM=VIRE

Explanation Needed:  A farmer was sitting on his porch getting drunk.  A neighbor walked by and asked him, "It's such a beautiful day.  Why are you sitting out here getting hammered?

The farmer looked at him an said, "There are some things you just can't explain."

The neighbor asked, "What do you mean?"  the farmer explained.  "I was in the barn milking the cow, and when the bucket was almost full, she kicked it over with her left leg.   Well. I gor so mad that I got some rope and tied her left leg to a rafter."

The neighbor was a little bit confused.  "Well?"

The farmer continued, "There are just some things you can't explain.   I got the bucket and began milking again, when, dang it, she kicked the bucker over with her right leg.  So I got some more rope and tied her right leg to a rafter."

"That solved the problem, didn't it?"

The farmer shook his head and took another gulp of his drink.  "There are just things you just can't explain.  I positioned the bucket under the cow and began milking once again.  Then that cursed cow flicked its tail and knocked over the bucket!  So I tied her tail to a rafter.  But I had run out of rope and had to use my belt.

"Without my belt, my pants fell down.  Just then my wife came in."

The farmer shook his head in sorrow.  "There are some things you just can't explain."

Musical History:  From 1963, a young, clean-cut Frank Zappa teaches Steve Allen how to play the bicycle:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QF0PYQ8IOL4

The Battle of Bannockburn:  Today marks the 710th anniversary of the Battle of Bannockburn.

From Wikipedia:  "The Battler of Bannockburn was fought on 23-24 June 1314, between the army of Robert the Bruce, King of Scotland, and  the army of King Edward II of England, during the First war of Scottish Independence.  It was a decisive victory for Robert Bruce and formed a major turning point in the war, which ended 14 years later with the de jure restoration of Scottish independence under the Treaty of Edinburgh-Northhampton.  For this reason, the Battle of Bannockburn is widely considered a landmark moment in Scottish history."

On the first day of the battle, the English knight Sir Henry de Bohun spied the Scottish king, who was on a small horse and carried only a battle ax.  De Buhun lowered his lance and charged.  Rather than flee, Bruce rode at the Englishman.  At the last few seconds, Bruce shifted his mount to the side, stood up in his stirrups, and delivered a great blow to de Bohun, smashing through the knight's helmet ins into his brain.  After the fact Bruce expressed sorrow that he had broken the shaft of his favorite axe.

"After Robert Bruce killed Henry de Bohun on the first day of battle, the English withdrew for the day.  That night, Sir Alexander Seton, a Scottish noble serving in Edward's army, defected to the Scottish side and informed King Robert of the English camp's low morale, telling him they could win.  Robert Bruce decided to launch a full-scale attack on the English forces the next day and to use his schiltrons [a compact body of troops forming a shield wall, or phalanx -- JH] as offensive units, as he had trained them.  This was a strategy his predecessor William Wallace [remember Braveheart? - JH] had not employed.  The English army was defeated in a pitched battle which resulted in the deaths of several prominent British commanders, including the Earl of Gloucester and Sir Robert Clifford, and the capture of many others, including the Earl of Hereford."

My mother-in-law claimed to be a descendant of Robert the Bruce, but I doubt if there is a person of Scots ancestry who has not made a similar claim.  (She also claimed to be related to Jesse James and to have a bit of American Indian blood.  Eileen also never met a conspiracy theory she did not like, so go figure.)

Happy Birthday, Phil Harris:  Harris was born Wonga Philip Harris in 1904.  (The name Wonga supposedly came from the Cherokee, and meant "fast messenger."  The orchestra leader, actor, and singer was known for his work on The Jack Benny Show and The Phil Harris-Alice Faye Show (in which he starred with his wife).  He voiced a number of well-known characters for Disney, included Baloo the Bear in The Jungle Book, Little John in Robin Hood, and Thomas O'Malley in The Aristocats.  In 1950 he had a number one hit with the novelty song "The Thing."  By all accounts, he was a pretty decent guy.

Here's his signature song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_dK0W0qfRo

Florida Man:

• One-time Florida dentist and "troubled" Tampa area resident Richard G. Kantwell, 60, has been charged with three counts of interstate transmission of threat to injure.  This is actually the tip of the Kantwell iceberg.  FBI Special Agents evidently considered Kantwell's threats dangerous enough to interview him, ask him to stop, then took action when he continued.  Kantwell issued "approximately 100 threats and various other disturbing messages" to about 42 victims from August 2019 to July 2020 -- and those were the ones for which the FBI says it has evidence.  Kantwell allegedly bragged about owning weapons, "enjoying the violence," and that he "loved creating widows and orphans."  Three of his expletive-laden messages could land him in federal rpison for up to fifteen years.  Kantwell had been licensed to practice dentistry until this past February; previously he had defied an agreement to stop practicing as a dentist in 2017 and the Florida Board of Dentistry had reprimanded and fined him.
• Florida Man Joseph Leedy, 40, recently drove across the Marin County Jail parking lot, up the entrance ramp, and into the jail itself, where he poured motor oil on the floor and tossed out rubber snakes.  Just a typical day in Florida.
• In a case that happened just one street over from where I live, Florida Man and plastic surgeon Benjamin Jacon Brown, 41, has been charged with second degree felony homicide and culpable negligence in the 2023 death of his wife Hilary Brown.   Brown was performing surgery on his wife's for an abdominal scar revision, bilateral arm liposuction, lip injections, and ear adjustment procedures on November 21 when she went into cardiac arrest.  He reportedly waited for twenty minutes before calling an ambulance, which took her to the hospital where she died a week later, evincing lidocaine toxicity.   Hilary Brown had prepared her own tumescent solution which Brown reported that she had taken around 12 pm; he did not report that an hour earlier she had ingested a "handful" of multicolored pills.  An emergency restriction of license was issued following her death, citing also "questionable circumstances that happened in the moths leading up to her death."   Two previous patients had reported that Brown performed BBL surgery on them without permission and that there was a lack of sterilization in the rooms during surgery.
• If you want to paint something in Florida, you'd better do a good job of it.  Florida Man Daniel Peirre, 47, allegedly whacked his nephew on the head with a hammer while at a job site in Loxahatchee.  Reportedly the uncle complained that he no longer wanted to work with his nephew because he did not do a good job.  Pierre struck his nephew and left the young man unconscious while he drove away, according to police.  The nephew suffered life-threatening injuries, including a skull fracture and a brain tear.
• And if you are going to be a roommate in Florida, you'd better clean up after yourself.  71-year-old Florida Woman Patricia Whitehead shot and killed her roommate because he allegedly did not pick up after himself.

Good News:

• I'm not sure this is good news or not, but perfectly preserved cherries have been found in George Washington's Mount Vernon cellar.  As far as I can tell, no one has dared taste the.     https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/perfectly-preserved-250-year-old-cherries-found-in-george-washingtons-cellar-at-mount-vernon-pr/
• Woman raises fund to help 90-year-old veteran still working in the heat to retire     https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/woman-raises-233000-to-give-90-year-old-veteran-still-working-in-the-heat-the-option-to-retire/
• Heiress appoints 50 people to give away her  multi-million euro fortune https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/austrian-heiress-appoints-fifty-citizens-to-give-away-her-e25-million-fortune/
• Tired of noise pollution?  these students invented a leaf blower silencer attachment     https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/students-invent-leaf-blower-silencer-attachment-corporation-expects-to-be-selling-them-soon/
• Lung cancer drug brings unprecedented results       https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/lung-cancer-drug-elicits-unprecedented-results-in-new-trial/
• Lost donkey now "living his best life" with elk herd five years later     https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/lost-donkey-seen-living-with-elk-herd-5-years-later-living-his-best-life/

Today's Poem:

Bannockburn

Robert Bruce's address to his army

Scots, wha hae wi' Wallace bled,

Scots, wham Bruce has often led;

Welcome to your gory bed,

Or to victorie.

Now's the day, and now's the hour;

See the front o' battle lower;

See approach proud Edward's power --

Chains and Slaverie!

Wha will be a traitor knave?

Wha can fill a coward's grave?

Wha sae base as be a slave?

Let him turn and flee!

Wha for Scotland's king and law

Freedom's sword will strongly draw,

Freeman stand., or freemen fa'?

Let him follow me!

By oppression's woes and pains!

By your sons in servile chains!

We will drain our dearest veins,

But they shall be free!

Lay the proud usurpers low!

Tyrants fall in every foe!

Liberty's in every blow!

Let us do, or die!

-- Robert Burns