Things are not looking good for the home team.
Since we started this supposed road trip to Birmingham in April, we have been detoured through ERs, hospitals, rehab facilities and back again. For the record, Kitty is now in the ICU after being bounced from her second rehab stint because of pneumonia. Although this is her first ICU stay, it is her third hospital stay since April 26 -- the last day she was at home.
Currently her blood pressure is low and they are trying to stabilize it. Her latest blood count for anemia is low and they have to reinstitute steroids -- which may have a negative effect on her fluid retention and on her blood pressure. She's having hard time breathing and there is concern about her lungs. Several more doctors have brought up possible problems with her liver, spleen, and kidneys. Her cognition is slipping and she is having a hard time communicating, or even speaking in general. Some of her dreams are vivid and she thinks they are real when she wakens. Her legs still cannot support her.
She gets super-pissed when I tell her she cannot get out of her hospital bed, and even more upset when I tell her (several times a day) she cannot go home just because she is tired of the hospital. There has been talk of dementia and possible Alzheimer's; she has been displaying some "sundown effects" the past few nights. She's scared and confused and has been taking out on me these past few days; I don't mind that, it comes with the marriage contract we made fifty-two years ago. I do wish I could ease her mind and her pain, though.
The hospital is setting us up with a palliative care team and we will be having an informational meeting with Hospice tomorrow morning.
Although I realize the final outcome may not be the one I was wishing for, I am not ready or able to give up hope. Even now, she has made gains in some areas while slipping in others. She is a tough cookie and is chock-full of stubborn Irish genes. If anyone can come out on top of this it is my bride. I'm just here along for the ride, supporting her with my faith, hope, and love.
I am so sorry you both are going through this. It is horribly familiar.
ReplyDeleteFurther sympathies, Jerry...I remember sitting up and crashing on available bedding with my parents as they were going through these tribulations, as well. Hope might not be misplaced, but don't let it be crueler still. I suspect you are easing her pain some, even if it never can be enough while the pain continues. May the best things actually happen.
ReplyDeleteAll my sympathy. I know what you are going through and how helpless and completely exhausted you must feel. Fingers crossed.
ReplyDeleteJerry, you are a wonderful caregiver! Kitty is lucky to have you around to help during this difficult time with your faith, hope, and love. Best of luck to both of you!
ReplyDelete