Small House of Everything

Small House of Everything

Monday, November 27, 2017

NO INCOMING, BUT THERE ARE NAZIS

There is no Incoming today so let me fill up this space telling you about a movie I saw last night on Hulu.

Iron Sky (2012) is a nifty little Finnish/German/Australian B-movie about Nazis on the moon.  While this is not a unique idea it has its fringe believers out here in the real world -- perhaps even as many as those who are flat earth believers.  So it's no wonder that there's (at least one) Nazis on the moon movie.

In the waning years of World War II, Germany secretly flew members of its space program to the dark side of the moon where they have been laying in wait for more than seventy years...waiting for the time when they could invade Earth and establish the fourth Reich.

Meanwhile, back on the big blue marble, the President of the United States (Stephanie Paul) is facing certain defeat in her reelection.  Except for her Southern accent, the Prez is a Sarah Palin clone:  fairly incompetent, self-centered, and naturally Republican.  Vivian Wagner (Peta Sergeant) is the President's PR person and is even more grasping than her boss; Vivian hatches a publicity stunt that should propel the President in the polls:  send some Americans to the moon.  This idea may actually work since it has been fifty year since anyone went to the moon and, to get the most oomph out of the stunt, one of the two-man crew will be black!  But who to send?  They settle on James Washington (Christopher Kirby), a male model whose only qualifications are that he is good-looking and black.  (It doesn't hurt that their secret mission is to find Helium-3, an element that could make America energy-free for millenia.)

Off they go, landing on the dark side of the moon and, as they land, banners are unfurled on the side of the ship with the President's image and her election catch-phrase, "Yes She Can."  The two astronauts immediate stumble on the secret Nazi base hidden in a crater, complete with huge towers filled with Helium-3, flying saucers, jack-booted Nazis, and a huge schloss shaped like a swastika.  In true movie fashion, the first one to die is the black white astronaut.  Washington is captured by Klaus Adler (Gotz Otto) and brought to Nazi headquarters to face soon-to-be-deposed (Adler has ambitions, you see) Moon-Feuhrer Wolfgang Kortzfleisch (Udo Klier).  When the astronaut's helmet is removed, the Nazis see their first black man ever.

Well, the Nazis can't have that!  So head mad scientist Doktor Richter (Tilo Pruckner) concocts a potion that turns Washington into a white man.  Since he is now white, the Nazis presume that he is now a full-fledged Nazi.  Since the Nazi moonbase is essentially deisel-punk heaven, their secret weapon -- the Gotterdammerung, the largest war machine ever -- is a HUGE mass of cogs, wheels, and chains.  Sadly for the Germans, their large walls of computers do not have enough power to lift the Gotterdammerung off the moon.  Washington happens to have a cell phone on him, which happens to have a thousand times more computing power than the Nazis have.  Again sadly for the Germans, when the cell phone is hooked into the German computers the Gotterdammerung begins to rise, but only for a second because the cell phone's battery died.  Adler decides to take a flying saucer to Earth so Washington can locate some cell phones to be taken back to the moon so the invasion can start.

Washington escapes, but no one listens to a former black man's warning about Nazis on the moon.  Adler meanwhile has ingratiated himself with the President and her PR maven Vivian.  Adler steers the President's campaign to embracing the Nazi philosophy (without mentioning the word Nazi, may I add); and the country and the campaign steer far to the right.  At the same time, tired of waiting for a supply of cell phones, the Moon-Feuhrer launches and attack on Earth, using space zeppelins towing meteors instead of the still dormant Gotterdammerung.  Even though the nations of Earth vowed not to militarize their space programs, every country except Finland has done so.  Enter epic space battle.

Back on the moon, Adler tries to get the Gotterdammerung aloft and Washington tries to stop him.  I wonder how that will work out?

Oh.  And Washington finds an anti-white serum that turns him back to a black man and he hooks up with the beautiful, blonde, moon-Nazi elementary school teacher Renate Richter (Julia Dietze), the daughter of the mad had scientist.

This brief description doesn't do the film justice.  It is funny, full of outrageous ideas and deadpan humor.  It is prophetic, showing how easy it is for a populace to turn to the far right.  It is visually interesting, with outstanding CGI depicting the deisel-punk sensibilities behind the Nazi war machine.  It is topical, with its playful approach to race and politics.  Iron Sky is certainly not a great movie, but it is a fun one.

A sequel is planned for 2018.

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