This one has to be for Bill Crider:
There once was a Texas millionaire who collected alligators. He kept them in his pool in the back yard. He also had a beautiful unmarried daughter. One day he threw a huge party. With all the guests assembled in the back yard he said, "The first man brave enough to jump into this pool filled with alligators and swim all the way across it can have his choice between a million dollars or my daughter's hand in marriage."
Almost as soon as the words were out of his mouth, there was a large splash! and one young man was swimming like crazy to the other end of the pool, where he emerged unscathed.
The millionaire hugged the young man, saying, "There's still one brave person left in this world! Tell me, my boy, would you like a million dollars, or would you like my daughter's hand in marriage?"
The young man replied, "I don't want any of your money, mister. And -- no offense -- I'd rather not marry your daughter."
The millionaire was taken aback. "Well, what would you like?" he asked.
"What I want," he said, "is the sonovabitch who pushed me!"