Lawyer: I have some good news and some bad news.
Client: What's the bad news?
Lawyer: The DNA tests show that your blood was all over the crime scene. With that extra evidence you're bound to be convicted, and this state has the death penalty.
Client: Oh, no, no, no...Wait, you said there was some good news. What's the good news?
Lawyer: You managed to get your chloresterol down under 130.