HYMN TIME

 Sister Rosetta Tharpe.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4-22b72muY

AMERICA'S GREATEST COMICS #1 (1941)

Here it comes!  Some of Fawcett's greatest superheroes -- all in colorful costumes, some with capes!, all with leggings or long johns! (can't tell which), and some with their underpants on the outside!  Can you ask for anything more?

Captain Marvel battles The Ghost of the Deep, who is trying to get a weapon that will sink government ship using a mysterious force.  Before Captain Marvel is finished, untold villains meet their doom.

Bulletman and Bulletgirl take on the villain known as the Invisible Man!

Then it's Minute Man versus Mr. Skeleton -- with guest star Franklin Delano Roosevelt!

America Smasher is back from the supposed dead as he once again goes against our hero, Spy Smasher!  Will these villains never learn?

And finally, Mr. Scarlet seems outnumbered when he faces the Death Battalion -- Horned Hood, Ghost, Black Clown, Thorn, and Laughing Skull -- with Dr. Dearth and Brain thrown in for good measure!

This issue is an all-costumed adventure fest that you don't want to miss!  Celebrate Pearl Harbor Day with these patriotic heroes!

Enjoy!

https://comicbookplus.com/?dlid=96101&comicpage=&b=i

FORGOTTEN BOOK: THE NICE GUYS

 The Nice Guys by Charles Ardai (2016)

I can't really claim this to be a forgotten book, but it's an overlooked one, at least by me.

The book is a novelization of a 2016 neo-noir buddy action comedy movie starring Russell Crowe and Ryan Gosling.  The movie was co-written by Shane Black (Lethal Weapon, The Last Boy Scout, Last Action Hero, The Long Kiss Goodnight), so you know what you're going to get -- fast action mixed with comedy.  The movie grossed $62 million on a $50 million budget, and has gained something of a cult status since it was released.  I had never heard of it, which shows you what a happening dude I am.

I have a feeling the novel closely follows the film.  It reads like a fast-paced buddy film, and in my m minds eye I could not help picture the main characters as Russell Crow and Ryan Gosling (though, to be honest, I sometimes pictured the other Canadian Ryan, Ryan Reynolds -- am I the only one who conflates the two?).  It's to author Ardai's credit that I finished the book believing I had seen the film.  (I haven't seen the film, but I feel that it would now be superfluous after reading the novel.)

The time is 1977.  Jackson Healey is an arm-and-leg man who approaches his business as just that -- a business.  Holland March is a down-on-his-luck LA private eye; his wife had died in a fire that destroyed his house, leving him  with a precocious and innocent daughter about to turn thirteen, Holly.  March has basically given up on everything except his daughter, and has reverted to an amoral alcoholic.

March is hired by a sweet little old lady to find her niece, porn star Misty Mountains (two guesses where she got that name).  The problem is that Misty had died in a car crash several days earlier.  when her aunt went to Misty's house to clear out her things, she saw Misty through a window, but by the time she got the front door unlocked, the girl had escaped through the rear door and had driven off.  The aunt did manage to get the license number of the car.

The license number led to a woman named Amelia Kuttnet.  Then March gets a visit from Jackson Healey, who had been hired by Amelia to warn March off investigating her.  Politely and very professionally, Healy breaks March's arm.  that's enough to convince him to drop the case.

Later, Healy gets a visit from two button men who want Amelia's location because they intend to murder her (and, incidentally, Healy).  Healy managed to chase them off.  Then he went back to Marsh to get him to help find Amelia in order to save her.  And a strange partnership was formed. 

Amelia, it seems had written a porno flick, one in which Misty Mountains had starred.  Soon, people involved with that movie began dying and all copies of the film were destroyed.  This lead Marsh and Healy to an elaborate orgy at the home of the film's producer in a toney section of LA. in search of Amelia, who was reported to have attended it.  Sneaking along in the trunk of the car is Holly, the now thirteen-year-old daughter.  Marsh, Healy, and Holly each find themselves in different areas of the orgy (and Holly sees things she knows her girlfriends just wouldn't believe when she tells them).  Also at the orgy are the two button men, who are now out to kill Healy, Marsh, and Holly, as well as Amelia.  Holly stumbles upon Amelia, but she gets away.  Marsh, however, stumbles upon the body of the film's producer.

To complicate things, Amelia's mother is an Assistant Director in the Justice Department who is dividing her time equally between cracking down on organized crime and pursuing a major case against the automobile industry.  She tells Healy and Marsh that her daughter is unbalanced and hires them to find her.  Amelia, meanwhile, is saying that her mother is out to kill her.

Near misses, cross purposes, laugh out loud comedy, and a very real danger  for Healy, Marsh, and Holly combine before the ending, in which we discover why the porno film was so important that it and everyone associated with it had to be destroyed.

A truly enjoyable read.

Charles Ardai is the founder and editor of the Hard Case Crime line of mystery novels.  While in high school, he worked as an intern at Isaac Asimov's Science Fiction Magazine. eventually co-editing some anthologies from that magazine.  Upon graduating summa cum laude from Columbia University, he began working for hedge fund manager D. E. Shaw.  In the early 90's Shaw asked Ardai and another employee to come up with ideas for online businesses.  Ardai found the internet service provider Juno with Shaw as an investor.  The other Shaw employee, some guy named Bezos, started a bookstore.  Juno was sold in 2001, leaving Ardai very comfortable indeed.  Ardai then founded Hard Case Crime with Max Philips, a publisher specializing in the pulp crime fiction that both had enjoyed when they were younger.   Since then Hard Case Crime has published over 170 books, both reprints and originals, a number of which have won major awards.  Ardai himself has published five books in the series, plus an action-adventure novel in the Gabriel Hunt series, which he instituted.  He has also expanded the Hard Case Crime line into graphic novels.  Ardai has proven himself to be an extremely talented writer, editor, and publisher who has made a significant impact on modern crime fiction.

A LITTLE UPDATE

Grandson Mark moved to Albuquerque a couple of months ago to start a new job at the city's Biopark (Biopark is evidently New Mexico-speak for zoo).  As many of you know, I went with my daughter, granddaughter, and grandson to Albuquerque to spend Thanksgiving week with him, and to bring him his furniture and his snakes.  (Yes, Mark likes snakes.)

Rosie, one of the zoo's elephants is pregnant and is expected to drop this week.  Because anything can happen, have been rotating night sifts to eye an eye on Rosie should he deliver early.  Mark's shift that Sunday was from 4 am to 8 am, after which he would start his regular day.  (Mark's workweek is from Friday to Tuesday.)  We arrived in Albuquerque that Sunday, dropped his stuff off at Mark's apartment complex, and left so he could get a couple of hours sleep before his elephant detail.

Mark went out to the parking lot at 3:30, unlocked his car, and brought his water bottle that had been in the car into his apartment to fill it for the day.  When he came back five minutes later, his car was gone, stolen.  Mark missed his elephant detail as the police came and took information.  They were moderately sure that the car would be recovered soon, saying that it was usually kids joyriding.  It happened that Mark's credit card, debit card, driver's license, and his keys to the zoo were also in the car.  Much of the week was spent notifying banks, insurance companies, and trying to arrange transportation so Mark could get to and from work.  Mark could not rent a car temporarily because he was underage; you need to be 25 to rent a car, and Mark is 24 and 7 months -- besides which, his driver's license is gone.. 

Luckily, my daughter and her husband has just purchased a new truck and were preparing to sell their old car.  If Mark's car was not recovered, they could drive the old car to Albuquerque this month as a replacement.

When we left to return to Florida on Friday, they still had not recovered the car, but at least Mark had all the logistics figured out.  On Monday, Christina got a call from the insurance company.  The police had recovered Mark's car, but its condition was unknown, but the car was now sitting in the police forensics lab -- something that did not bode well.  However, the insurance company had made a deal with Enterprise Car Rental to allow Mark to rent a car for the interim; luckily, Mark's new license came in the mail on Saturday.

The police called Tuesday to inform us that they had the car and that it was a total loss.  It had been set on fire...and was used in the commission of a homicide.  They would give out no further details as it was now an open, major case.  Mark is very quiet and unassuming (and also the most awesome man I know), and when we informed him, he just said, "Gee.  I have murderers in my apartment complex."  (To be fair, it's a very large complex, and I doubt that more than 20 or 25% of the residents are murderers.)

So, a) sometime in the middle of the month, Christina will be driving once again to Albuquerque to drop off a Volkswagon Jetta; or, b) a few days either before or after Christmas, she will be making the trip with Walt trailing her in the new truck.  Either way, she's not looking forward to the drive.  At least she'll get to spend more time with Mark, which is always a good thing,

A quick fun fact:  Of the 70 major cities in the U,S,, Albuquerque ranks #17 in homicide.

CBS RADIO MYSTERY THEATER: A HOLIDAY VISIT (DECEMBER 25, 1980)

 Here's a little magical fantasy to help get you ready for the holiday season.

"En route to visit her parents for Christmas, a couple is waylaid by a highway accident.  As they make their way to Runyonville, Ohio, by foot they travel through the snow into Taylortown -- a deserted village whose sole resident seems to be a mysterious old woman..."

Starring Lloyd Battista, Diana Kirkwood, Joan Shay, and Robert Dryden.  Directed by Himan Brown and scripted by Bob Juhran.  E. G. Marshall is your host.

Enjoy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPI4dbjxeCc

LAST WEEK'S SHORT STORY WEDNESDAY: PILGRIM FATHER McGEE

 "Pilgrim Father McGee" by Frank Richardson Pierce (from Short Stories. December 10, 1946)

I was out of town and away from my computer last week, so I was unable to post a Thanksgiving story on Wednesday.  Here, belatedly, is one to make up for it:

Alaskan bush pilot No-Shirt McGee has a small plane, the Claim Jumper, and a small airfield.  He wants to be licensed to carry the occasional passenger but everything seems to go wrong during his test flight with the Civil Aeronautics Board man -- an usually high wind forces the pane to fly backwards over anchorage, an extremely dense fog causes him to fly for almost an hour upside-down, and, when he finally lands, he discovers the one of his skis has fallen off the plane.  But land he does, and safely.  But the shaken CAB man refuses to grant him the license he wants.

At least Thanksgiving is rapidly approaching and No-Shirt is looking forward to a turkey dinner; for the past three years, during the war, wherever No-Shirt was during Thanksgiving, turkeys were not there.  This year, however, No-Shirt has been contracted to fly a cargo of frozen turkeys for the residents of a small Alaskan town, Placer Lake.  Come hell or high water, one of those turkey will be his long anticipated Thanksgiving dinner.

But No-Shirt's bad luck is still with him.  a heavy ice fog has reduced visibility so he cannot see the ground below.  Flying low through the fog, he spots a flash of red and blue colors.  It's a flag.  Because every community needs to have something to brag about, Placer Lake brags about having the tallest flag pole in Alaska.  No-Shirt radios the ground and informs them to look for their Thanksgiving turkeys within a twenty foot radius of the flag pole.  He then begins to circle the flagpole, dropping the turkeys out his window -- saving one for himself.  Because the residents of Placer Lake have also missed out on Thanksgiving turkeys for the past few years, they respectfully call No-Shirt their "Pilgrim Father."

The ice fog is still too dense for McGee to land and he may soon run out of fuel.  Clarke Gill, a ham operator, tells No-Shirt that there is now 500 feet of ceiling and visibility at Marcus Lake, about fifty miles north of Placer Lake.  McGee heads there, but Clarke soon calls back to say that the fog has returned and he is unable to land there.  No-Shirt manages to find a small frozen lake on which to land and wait out the fog.  He cuts toggle in the ice and uses sealskin rope to safely tie his plane down and commences to wait.  Then the wolves came and began to chew on the sealskin rope.  No-Shirt had left his rifle and ammunition behind to make room for all the turkeys, so he could not shoot at the wolves.  He tried to frighten them away with his lights and by revving his engine, but wolves gotta do what wolves gotta do.  There was a strong chance sme of the tail surfaces and jimmy up some of the control gear, so No-Shirt had to sever the sealskin restraints and take to the air once again in deep fog.  He manages to get to a familiar canyon and land on river ice, which allows him to taxi upstream to his own air field.

Thanksgiving morning and No-Shirt has just put his turkey in the oven and is looking forward to a solitary meal when he gets a radio call.  It's fellow pilot 

Hank Galloway, who is returning from an emergency medical light and is running out of fuel hand has low visibility due to the fog; he needs an emergency place to land.  Hank's plane has wheels, not skis.  Not-Shirt gets in his bulldozer and clears a small path for Hank's plan, then lights barrels of oil to mark the makeshift runway.  Hank's plane begins to land, skids, and crashes.  Hank is injured and needs medical attention.  Also on the plane was Steve Brenner, the CAB man who had failed No-Shirt on his flight test.  Brenner's arms are in bad shape so he cannot fly Hank to the hospital in Anchorage, and he is afraid to have No-Shirt pilot them.  While all this is going on, No=Shirt's turkey overcooks, catches fire, and becomes little more than charcoal.

We know No-Shirt will get Hank to the hospital, but will he ever have his Thanksgiving turkey?  Especially since the local restaurant has run out of turkey and is now serving only flapjacks, ham and eggs, with a few spuds to be washed down by black coffee...

No-Shirt McGee is the hero of 22 stories published from 1937 to 1947 in Argosy and Short Stories.  The author, Frank Richardson Pierce (1881-1966) was the prolific author of more than1500 short stories, three novels, and four feature films.  Perhaps best known for his western stories, he also published adventure tales, aviation stories, and mysteries, his name appearing on the covers of many pulp magazines, as well as the slicks.  Among his other popular characters were All-Around Austin, Frying Pan, Flapjack Meehan and Tubby Willows, "Rusty" Wade, Bud Tuttle, CCC ( western ranch), Dad Simms, Panhandle Pete, Ensign Fuller, Tip (a dog), Hardrock, Stan Dvorak, and Barney Brachen.  a Frank Richardson Pierce story usually means good entertainment.

The December 10, 1946 issue of Short Stories is available to be at the Internet Archive.

A CHRISTMAS FILM THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN OVERLOOKED: SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS (1964)

Is this the worst Christmas movie ever?  IMDb doesn't think so.  in fact, it's rated as Number 4 on their list of bad Christmas films -- feel free to disagree.  Let's just say that it has been featured on episodes of Canned Film Festival, Mystery Science Theater 3000, and Elvira's Movie Macabre.

Besides the stench of its awfulness, the movie is noted for two things:  the first film appearance of Pia Zadora (then ten-years-old, as Girmar the Martian Girl, and the first documented motion picture role of Mrs. Claus (played by Doris Rich, who played Ma Kettle in the televisi0n version of The Egg and I).

The plot of the film is simple (very simple);  Martians kidnap Santa Claus because there is nobody on their planet to give their children presents.  While kidnapping Santa, they also snatch two Earth children.  One bad Martian, deciding that the plot was a bad idea, decides tom kill Santa and the Earth children.  But you can't keep a good Santa down.   SPOILER:  He appoints a Martian to be the Martian Santa Claus and returns to Earth with the two children.

Directed by Nicholas Webster (Mission Mars, Sharks:  The Death Machine, Manbeast!  Myth or Monster?), the film was scripted by Glenville Mareth (who evidently did little else) from a story by Paul L. Jacobson (who also produced the movie and did little else).

John Call (whose 31 IMDb credits are mainly bit parts and uncredited roles) plays Santa Claus.  Character actor Vincent Beck (The Spy in the Green Hat, The Pink Jungle, The Bamboo Saucer) had his first screen credit here playing the bad Martian Voldar.  Bill McCutcheon Bwho was Uncle Wally on  Sesame Street, starred in the television series Ball Four, and co-starred with bob "Captain Kangaroo" Keeshan in the series Mister Mayor) was Dropo, the soon-to-be Martian Santa Claus.  The two Earth children were taken from the stage:  Victor Stiles was appearing in Oliver!, and Donna Conforti was in Broadway's Here's Love.

For better or for worse, here's you early taste of Christmas:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4SZyeUGSM4

And, for your edification, here's the IMDb list of the 25 worst Christmas films:

1.  Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas (2014)

2.  The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)

3.  Santa with Muscles (1996 -- with Hulk Hogan)

4.  Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)

5.  Home Alone 4:  Taking Back the House (2002 -- going back to the well once too often)

6.  Look Who's Talking Now (1993 -- Jophn Travolta and Kirstie Alley)

7.  Home Alone 3 (1997 -- se comment on #5, above)

8.  Black Christmas (2006 - a sorority house slasher flick with Michelle Trachtenberg and Lacey Chabert,and Mary Elizabeth Winstead)

9.  Santa Clause 3:  The Escape Clause (2006 -- Tim Allen achieves diminishing returns)

10.  Turbulence (1997 -- can a serial killer land a plane without a pilot?)

11.  Deck the Halls (2006 -- dueling neighbors try to out-do each other)

12.  Unaccompanied Minors (2006 -- kids snowed in at a midwestern airport)

13.  Christmas with the Kranks (2004 -- Tim Allen, Jamie Lee Curtis, Dan Ackroyd)

14.  Eight Crazy Nights (2002 -- Adam Sandler; why is this on a Christmas list?)

15.  Jack Frost (1998 -- Michael Keaton as a snowman)

16.  Surviving Christmas (2004 -- Ben Affleck, , Christina Applegate, James Gandolfini)

17.  I'll Be Home for Christmas (1998 -- Jonathan Taylor Thomas, need I say any more?)

18.  Mixed Nuts (1994 -- Christmas at a crisis hotline; I kind of liked this one)

19.  A Bad Moms Christmas (2017 -- Mila Kunis, Kristen Bell, Kathryn Hahn)

20.  The Nutcracker and the Four Realms (2018 -- an unfortunate take on the E. T.  A. Hoffmann story)

21.  Jingle All the Way (1996 -- Arnold and Sinbad, celebrating the crassness of the season)

22.  Bad Santa 2 (2016 -- Billy Bob Thornton reprises his role)

23.  The Santa Clause 2 (2002 -- Tim Allen should have stopped at the first one)

24.  Ernest Saves Christmas (1998 -- in what world was Jim Varney's character popular?)

25.  Fred Claus (2007 -- Vince Vaughan as Santa's older brother)