Openers: 'I dislike you,; said Mr Fortune. 'Some of the dirtiest linen I've seen.' He gazed morosely at the Chief of the Criminal Investigative Department.
'Quite,' Lomas agreed. 'Dirty fellow. What about those stains?'
'Oh, my dear chap!' Mr Fortune mourned. 'Paint. All sorts of paint. Also food and drink and assorted filth. Why worry me? What did you expect? Human gore?'
'I had no expectations,' said Lomas sweetly.
A certain intensity came into Mr Fortune's blue eyes. 'Yes. I hate you,' he murmured. 'Anything else you want to know?'
'A lot of things,' Lomas said. 'You're not useful, Reginald. I want to know what sort of fellow he was, and what's become of him.'
'He was an artist of dark complexion. He painted in both oils and water-colours. He lived a course and dissolute life, and had expensive tastes. What's become of him, I haven't the slightest idea. I should say he was on the way to the devil. What's this all about? Why this interest in this debauched artist?'
-- "The Long Dinner" by H. C. Bailey (from The Windsor Magazine, January 1935; collected in Bailey's in Mr. Fortune Objects, 1935; reprinted many times, included in The Great Detectives (anonymously edited, 1947, Murder on the Menu (ed., Peter Haining, 1991), Continental Crimes (ed., Martin Edwards, 2017), and in Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine, April 1953)
The dissolute artist Reggie Fortune was talking about was Derry Farquhar, man known to police for gaining money under false pretenses. Ten days before a woman reported him missing. Dividends from a trust have remained untouched -- something very unlike thee man. Two weeks before a loud noise was heard from the Bloomsbury "rat-hole of a flat" he rented; police found the flat a mess with a pile of dirty linen, the linen that Lomas had forwarded to Reggie for examination. The one other thing that Reggie found was a stained menu card. And what a menu! "Artichokes in oil, cold pork, lobster, duck and turnips -- with a kidney omelette and roast beef and trimmings." From that meal card, Reggie suggested that Lomas look in Brittany for Farquhar because that was where such a meal would be served. Lomas disregarded that suggestion.
An inspector from Paris had arrived, also looking for Farquhar. It seems he was wanted for robbing a lady of some very valuable jewels. Not long after, Farquhar's body was found on the rocks in a remote cove, his head bashed in. Was it an accident, a suicide, or murder? Near where the body was found was a drenched sketchbook, filled with disturbing drawings, including one of a rough stone female statue with cruelly drawn children dancing around it. To Reggie, this also indicated Brittany.
Although this seems to be an intuitive assumption on Reggie's part, he insists that his mind works only on facts and reason. A trip across the Channel leads Reggie to a case of blackmail, murder, and the cunning poisoning of multiple children.
A fascinating case and one that only Reggie Fortune could solve.
H. C. Bailey (1878-1961) was considered one of the Big Five British mystery writers of the Golden Age of detection. Reggie Fortune was one of Bailey's foremost detectives, appearing in ten novels and thirteen original short story collections. Fortune had originally intended to follow in his father's medical practice, but his testimony in several cases that arose from his practice that proved his ability of observation and inference from obscure facts brought him to the attention of the CID, which soon began to use him as a scientific advisor. The fastidious Mr. Fortune is plump and fair, a gourmet who also enjoys his garden, he is particularly fond of children and cats, He is a champion of justice and a defender of the weak, particularly children, and if justice is not exactly legal he does not object.
Bailey's other major detective is Joshua Clunk -- the remaining Clunk of the Clunk & Clunk law firm. Both the Fortune and Clunk opuses are solid entertaining reading, sometimes rising to to classic status. Check out Reggie Fortune in "The Yellow Slugs" or The Bishop' Crime, for Joshua Clunk, try Slippery Ann.
H. C. Bailey was prolific. Besides the Fortune and Clunk canons, he authored thirty romance and historical novels, nonfiction, theatrical and radio plays, poetry, and well over 250 uncollected short stories and articles. He retired from writing in 1950 and spent thee last decade of his life living in Wales.
Royal Folderol: I just watch a YouTube video, one of those anti-Harry and Megan screeds. This one take top honors for total wackiness. Did you know that their children ar a sham? Yep, fake news. According to this one commentator, Archie and Lilibet never existed -- they were just a PR ploy. Really! Have you ever seen a picture of Archie? Or at least one of him holding his birth certificate? Isn't it likely that Harry and Megan just hired a kid to pose as "Archie"? If Harry and Megan did produce a birth certificate, how do we know it wasn't a fake? Or a Kenyan birth certificate. As for Lilibet, doesn't one year-old baby look like another? Could Harry and Megan presented a ringer to the queen the other day?
I'm convinced. It has to be true because it's on the internet.
A Young Paul Newman: Here's a video of may have been Paul Newman's first television appearance. From the August 8, 1952 episode of Tales of Tomorrow, it's a story of an Air Force rocket returning to Earth with an unexpected cargo...a block of ice that can freeze everything around it. Written by someone bill as E. H. Frank (his only writing credit on IMDb), "Ice from Space" pits Air Force Major Dozier (Edmon Ryan) against stubborn Congressman Burns ((Raymond Bailey). Newman appears as Sgt. Wilson. (IMDb also credits Newman an occasional cast member on The Aldrich Family in 1952, so it's anyone's guess which was Newman's first television credit.)
The show is in black and white so you won't get to gaze into his blue eyes.
https://archive.org/details/TalesOfTomorrow-IceFromSpace
The Sicilian Vespers: 167 years ago today, Giuseppe Verdi premiered his twentieth opera, Les Vespres Sicillennes. Here's the overture performed by the Orchestra del Teatro alia Scala under the direction of Riccardp Muti:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Up8sT5SxvN8
Happy Birthday, Mary-Kate Olsen: And, coincidently, Ashley Olsen (b.
Also, natal felicitations go out to Holy Roman Emperor Charles the Bald (b. 823), Holy Roman Emperor Charles the Fat (b. 839), American General Winfield Scott (b. 1786), Scottish mathematician and physicist James Clerk Maxwell (b. 1831), poet W. B. Yeats (b. 1865), Paul Neumann (not the actor mentioned above, but the Australian swimmer and physician; b. 1875), forever Sherlock in my heart Basil Rathbone (b. 1892), Lord Peyer Wimsey creator Dorothy L. Sayers (b. 1893), This Is Your Life host Ralph Edwards (b. 1913), Hollywood Square Paul Lynde (b. 1926), concept artist Christo (b. 1935), "shadow" Senator Eleanor Holmes Norton (b. 1937), writer guy who believes in aliens Whitley Strieber (b. 1945), John-Boy Walton Richard Thomas (b. 1951), comedian Tim Allen (b. 1953), Brat Packer Ally Sheedy (b. 1962), Captain America Chris Evans (b. 1981), and Indian archer I have never heard of before Deepika Kumari (b. 1994).
Those who shuffled off this mortal coil on June 13 include Martin Buber, Benny Goodman, Geraldine Page, Fran Allison, Deke Slayton, Maia Wojciechowska, Tim Russert, Jimmy Dean, and Ned Beatty.
Today is International Albinism Awareness Day, Kitchen Klutzes of America Day, National Sewing Machine Day, Weed Your Garden Day, and World Softball Day. It's also Eat Flexitarian Day, International Community Association Managers Day, Random Acts of Light Day, Corn on the Cob Day, Red Rose Day, Bourbon Day, and Nature Photography Day.
A Bad Joke: Why are blonde jokes so short? So men can remember them.
Another Bad Joke: Why do you never see pig hiding in trees? Because they are good at it.
Florida Man:
- Florida Man Charles Mora, 30, was charged with animal cruelty aft a video was posted of him tearing a live octopus apart. Octopi are capable of feeling "negative emotional states when confronted with pain in much the same way as mammals do." They have a larger brain to body size than most animals except birds and mammals. They are capable of high-order cognitive behavior. After violently ripping the head and guts from the octopus, Mora threw the still-living body in a bin and went about his way.
- An unnamed Florida Man was bitten by a seven-foot alligator after mistaking it for a dog as he walked about a Sarasota County motel shortly after midnight. Unprovoked alligator attacks are extremely rare. Chances of such an attack in Florida are about 1 in 3.1 million. The victime thought it was a dog with a long leash so he did not get out of the way. The alligator bite his leg and ripped put a chunk of his leg. It's tough being the 1 in 3.1 million.
- An unnamed Florida family from Ormond Beach had their Sunday interrupted when Volusia County police asked if they could borrow their boat to catch a jet ski thief. The boat owner told the police that they could take the boat if they returned it. Police arrest Florida Man Ronald Williams, 48, who had stalled the jet ski in the water after stealing it.
- Alcohol was involved when Florida Man Stephen Joye, of Naples, was arrested for arrested for public intoxication, disorderly conduct, and resisting arrest after he had berated two young children, threatening one (a 4-year-old) for "stealing his beach toys." When police arrived, Joye allegedly tried to punch an officer. Police said he has slurred speech, glassy eyes, and "strong stench of booze" when they handcuffed him. On the way to jail, Joye unbuckled himself and began banging his head against the partition in the police car. To add icing to the cake, Joye's mug shot indicates he also receive a bad case of sunburn.
- High school teens swoop in to support 6th grade stranger when no one would sign his yearbook https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/colorado-boy-gets-help-from-teens-after-no-one-signed-his-yearbook/
- CVS Pharmacy worker pays prescription cost for perfect stranger: "I can't watch someone in pain." https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/santa-barbara-cvs-worker-pays-prescription-for-stranger/
- New York woman finds her lost dachshund -- in Hilary Swank's lap https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/new-york-woman-finds-her-lost-dachshund-in-hilary-swanks-lap/
- Man finds lost wedding ring and delivers it to honeymoon couple using a LEGO man with a metal detector https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/metal-detectorist-who-found-a-newlyweds-wedding-ring-on-a-beach/
- 3D printed ear made and transplanted from patient's own cells https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/3d-printed-ear-is-made-and-transplanted-from-patients-living-cells/
- 83-year-old sets world record for sailing across the Pacific alone without stopping https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/83-year-old-sets-world-record-sailing-alone-across-the-pacific-without-stopping/
- Rats trained to carry tiny backpacks into earthquake zones so rescuers can speak to survivors https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/rats-earthquake-rescue/
Paul always looks great. He doesn't need color.
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