HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KENNY!

 Today is my brother's birthday.  Kenny is fourteen months younger than I am, which is strange, because of this wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff, I am positive that I am in my late twenties or early thirties, while Kenny is older than dirt.  I mean, really, really old.

Nonetheless it is his birthday and want to celebrate him.  First, he is very smart.  I mean, the stuff he knows is just so much stuff.  I believe the only reason they haven't given him Nobel prizes in Mathematics, Chemistry, Physics, Rocket Science Stuff, and Cooking is that he's just too modest to accept them.  He always surpassed me in school.  While I was studying Advanced Sandbox he was getting 9800s on his SATs.

Also, the kid is talented -- at least, musically.  Me?  I have a hard time playing the radio.  But Kenny can play the guitar and the radio.  He can even sing and hold a tune and not frighten the dog.  (Yes, he has a dog, a one-eyed super-mutt named Lucky who (out of modesty -- like his owner -- refuses to wear a cape.)   Caterwauling is not in Kenny's playbook.  He can even sing with others without losing his place nor they their sanity.

And he is was athletic.  He would play soccer or lacrosse or one of those silly games with a ball.  He was so athletic that even in the days when he was a a vegan he would bend his ethical rules to play with a ball made of leather because the stuff couldn't kick for sh*t.  Being athletic, he also remained pretty slim, so much so that when the two of us were out together I'd always get a group rate while he had to pay his own way.

He has also followed the family tradition set by both of us brothers of marrying a woman too good for him and having two amazing, beautiful daughters.  Of course, I did it first so maybe he was just following in my footsteps.

I don't want anyone to think that I am jealous of Kenny and his many talents and accomplishments.  Far from it because, you see, I am the handsome one in the family, while he's stuck with just being good-looking.  I sincerely doubt he could handle the pressures of being an international sex symbol like I can.  We each serve our own role in the universe.

So, anyway, I just want to wish him a happy birthday.  I'm proud of you and I love you, bro.