One hundred fifty-two years ago today, history was made when serfdom was eliminated in Russia. In honor of that momentous occasion (and because I stink at segues), I present one of the worst surf movies ever made: Surf Nazis Must Die!
Shall I explain how bad it is? It was released by Troma -- that's how bad.
The director (and co-creator of the story) was Peter George. George has only directed two films: this one and Young Goodman Brown, a 1993 effort that he had written that was based on the Nathaniel Hawthorne story. Someone named John Ayre helped George come up with the original storyline for Surf Nazis, then took the ball and wrote the screenplay; Ayre has no other credits on IMDB and may have been a one-time pseudonym or may be a full-time loser.
The story can be summed up in three sentences: Nazi surf punks have killed Mama Washington's grandson. Big mistake. Mama gets her arsenal and goes to avenge the boy's death.
The cast is made up of actors you never heard of. Mama Washington is played by Gail Neely, best known as Maureen from the Phillips Milk of Magnesia commercials. Others in the cast are Robert Harden (only two other film appearances after this one), Barry Brenner (he beat out Harden -- three more film appearances, including as Coroner/Medical Examiner in Maniac Cop and Maniac Cop II), Dawn Wildsmith (eleven years of B movies, including Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers), Michael Sonye (twenty film appearances, almost half of them under the screen name of Dukey Flyswatter), Joe Hile (this was the last of three movies he was in over a two-year period), Gene Mitchell (who has had bit parts -- "Business Man in Bar," "Referee," "Dad in Restaurant," "Man in Cafe," "Doctor No. 1, "Construction Worker," etc. -- in a number of films and televisions shows), Jan-Ove Hogman (his only movie -- I think he got a role because he custom-painted the surfboards for the flick), and (of course) director Peter George as "Boat Fisherman." This is not to denigrate anyone's talent, but it does seem indicative of the Judy Garland/Mickey Rooney "Let's Put on a Show!" mentality.
It's hard to determine if this is a cult film or merely a cult film title. Certainly the title is the best part here.
Rumor has it that Surf Nazis Are Fixin' to Die II is being shopped around for funding. Oh-oh.