Ed Wood, Jr., considered in some circles are the world's worst auteur, was also pretty much near the bottom of the barrel as a novelist, as witness this paragraph from Chapter One of his Death of a Transvestite (1967):
My eyes flashed to the guards then back to Glen as he [Glen] continued. "And to be buried
in such clothes. That's my last request, Warden. I want you to get me a blouse, a soft cardigan
sweater, a skirt, high-heeled shoes and the proper undies, And don't tell me the regulations
forbid it because I doubt if such a request has ever been made before, so there can't be any
regulations for a precedent."
O, sweet mother of God.
According to Wikipedia, Wood wrote at least 80 sleaze novels, including such titles as Black Lace Drag (1963, also published as Killer in Drag), Orgy of the Dead (1965, and yes, I once had a copy of this masterpiece but it went walkabout years ago), Devil Girls (1967), The Sexecutives (1968), The Photographer (1969), Take It Out in Trade (1970), The Only House in Town (with Uschi Digard, 1970), Necromania (1972), A Study of Fetishes and Fantasies (1973), Fugitive Girls (1974), and the quasi-memoir Hollywood Rat Race (1998). I can only assume that each of these unique reading experiences bring camp to new lows.
Wood also wrote hundred of pieces, fiction and non-, for magazines lurching well on the wrong side of respectability. The following link -- definitely not safe for work or probably anywhere else -- will give an idea of this output:
http://www.badmags.com/bmedwood.html
Me? I think I'll stick to the Tim Burton movie.
Ah, Ushi Digard. The lady was a fantasy when I was just a young lad.
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