SIGN OF THE HUH?

It turns out we were wrong, gang.  Actually, maybe we weren't, but we sure are now.  The Zodiac has changed and we are just going to have to live with the consequences.

     First off, there are thirteen signs of the Zodiac, not twelve.  I don't know why they are calling the new sign Ophiuchus.  It should be Arachne.  John Sladek invented/created/discovered it in his 1977 book Arachne Rising:  The Thirteenth Sign of the Zodiac, published as by "James Vogh".  Sladek is somewhat ignored nowadays and that is just wrong.

     Secondly, I am going to have to have a complete personality change.  My birthday is on October 30th, which used to put me squarely in with the Scorpio crowd.  Scorpios are obsessed with sex and Scorpio is the sex sign of the zodiac -- at least that's what I've been told and who am I to argue?  Now I am either a Virgo or a Libra, not sure which.  If there are any Virgos or Libras out there, please let me know which would be better.  Also, are Virgos (or Libras) allowed to be obsessed with sex?  Hope so.  I've invested a great deal of time being a Scorpio and I don't want it to go to waste.

     Additionally, what do I call myself?  What do I say a parties?  ("Hi, what's your sign.  I'm a Virgo and/or Libra.")  I don't want to come off as wimpy or undecided.  Would "Virbra" work?  Or "Ligo"?  The first sounds like I'm a chiropractor or some sort of kinky sex toy and the second sounds like I'm a child's set of building blocks.  This zodiac shift is a sad, sad state of affairs.

     I think what I'll do is what I've always done:  ignore the whole thing.  It's all rubbish anyway.  At least that's what my horoscope says -- if I'm looking at the right sign.