Openers: In the old brownstone house which was the dwelling, and also contained the office, of Nero Wolfe on West 35th Street near the Hudson River in New York, heavy gloom had penetrated into every corner of the room, so that there was no escaping from it.
Fritz Brenner wa in bed with the grippe.
If it had been Theodore Horstmann, who nursed the 3,000 orchids on the top floor, it would have been merely an inconvenience. If it had been me, Archie Goodwin, secretary, bodyguard, goad, and goat, Wolfe would have been no worse than peevish. But Fritz was the cook; and such a cook that Marko Vukcic, of Rusterman's famous restaurant, had once offered a fantastic sum for his release to the major leagues, and met with scornful refusal from Wolfe and Fritz both. On that Tuesday in November the kitchen had not seen him for three days, and the resulting situation was not funny. I'll skip the awful details -- for instance, the desperate and disasterous struggle that took place Sunday afternoon between Wolfe and a coule of duckilings -- and go on with the climax.
"Bitter End" by Rez Stout (first published in American Magazine, November 1940)
It ws lunchtine and Wolfe had just put a spoonful of pate on a roll, taken a bite,and explosivelt spat out the mouthful -- all over Archie. The pate, from a previously unopened jar of "TINGLEY'S TIDBITS (since 1877) -- The Best Liver Pate No. 3." The pate had been poisoned. Coincidently, not long after, a young woman named Amy Duncan approached Wolfe about the pate. It had been laced with quinine. Her uncle, Arthur /tingley, of TINGLEY'S TIDBITS, suspecte a number of persons -- including Amy -- of poisoning a recent shipment of the pate. Soon Tingley was murdered and Wolfe and Archie are embroiled in another murder case.
"Bitter End" was the first Nero Wolfe novella Stout published, some six years after the one-seventhof a ton detective made his debut in the novel Fer-de-Lance. It was a reworking of Stout's Tecumseh Fox novel Bad for Business, which was published later in that year. It was probably for the rason that the story had never been included in a Nero Wolfe collection. The story finally appeared in book form in Corsage: A Bouquet of Rex Stout and Nero Wolfe, a posthumous limited collection of 1,776 copies in 1977. (In addition to "Bitter End." Corsage also soontained a 50-page informal interview with stout and a short artilce from Life magazine, "Why Nero Wolfe Likes Orchids," by Stout writing as "Archie Goodwin.") The story finally made it into a collection of Nero Wolfe novellas, Death Times Three, in 1985 -- the only Nero Wolfe collection that was not first issued ina hardcover edition. (Death Times Three also included the stories "Frame-Up for Murder" (an extensive re-write of the 1958 novella "Murder Is No Joke," reprinted in And Four to Go -- the rewrite, "Frame-Up for Murder," had never been reprinted in book form) and "Assault on a Brownstone" (an early draft of 1961's "Counterfeit for Murder," incl;uded in Homicide Trinity -- again, "Frame-Up for Murder" had never been included ina Nero Wolfe volume before.)
I had been reading some early Rex Stout (mainly general fiction) in preparation for Hard Case Crime's reissue of Stout's 1930 novel Seed in the Wind next month. Coming across Corsage reminded me of just how much joy there was in his Nero Wolfe saga.
Incoming:
- Max Allan Collins, Too Many Bullets. A Nate Heller novel. "In 1968 Nate Heller is there when Robert Kennedy is shot at the Ambassador Hotel. Heller takes it upon himself to investigate the murder when a friend fo his and Bobby's raises doubts about the LAPD's invetigation. Heller strongly suspects the involvement of Jimmy Hoffa (currrently imprisoned), but Hoffa seems to be in the clear as the private eye looks into the possible presence of CIA enemies of RFK's on the murder night, the apparent manipulation of Sirhan Sirhan into a Manchurian Candidate-style assassin, and a probable second shooter." (Back in real life, RFK, Jr., on the campaign trail, has been accusing the CIA of involvement in the murders of his father and his uncle. Surprisingly, he inststs that both were shot, rather than killed by vaccines.)
- Robert Crais, The Sentry. A Joe Pike novel. Following The Watchman and The First Rule, which brought Elvis Cole's partner Joe Pike front and center, Pike returns, this time "to a case that will rock him to his core. Five years ago, Dru Rayne and her uncle fled from Louisiana to Los Angeles after Hurricane Katrina hit, but now they face a different kind of danger. A neighborhood protection gang savagely beats Dru's uncle, but Pike witnesses it and offers his own brand of protection. Oddly enough, neither of them seems to want it -- and neither do the federal agents mysteriously watching their storefront, men who appear quite willing to let the gang have their way. None of that deters Pike -- there's something about Dru that touches him and he won't back away, whether she wants his help or not -- but as the level of violence escalates, and Pike himelf becomes a target, he and Elvis Cole begin to discover some things. Dru and her uncle are not who they seem, and everything Pike thought he knew about them, their relationship to the gang, and the reasons they fled New Orleans -- it's all been lies. A vengeful and murderous force is catching up to them...and it's perfectly happy to sweep Pike and Cole up in its wake.
- Ralph Dennis, all thirteen books in the Hardman series, hardboiled classics featuring unlicensed PI Jim Hardman: Atlanta Deathwatch, The Charleston Knife Is Back in Town, The Golden Girl & All, Pimp for the Dead, Down Among the Jocks, Murder Is Not an Odd Job, Working for the Man, The Deadly Cotton Heart, The One-dollar Rip-off, Hump's First Case, The Last of the Armageddon Wars, The Buy Back Blues, and All Kinds of Ugly. Ed Gorman once described Dennis as "the most beloved obscure provate eye writer who ever lived."
- Erle Stanley Gardner, City of Fear, mystery colletion of seven stories originaly pubished in All Detective Magazine in 1933. This one was also published as Pulp Tales Presents #1: All Dtective Magazine -- Erle Stanley Gardner. Also, Whispering Sands: Stories of Gold Fever and the Western Desert, collecting nine of the twenty-one "Whispering Sands" stories tht Gardner published in Argosy between 1930 and 1934; seven of the stories reprinted here feature the desert-wise prospector Bob Zane. (Nine additional Whispering Sands/Bob Zane stories were reprinted in Pay Dirt and Other Whispering Sands Stories of Gold Fever and the Western Desert, which was part of last week's Incoming.) I'm catching up on a number of Gardner's short story collections.
- Lee Goldberg, the Diagnosis Murder series. I recently read all fifteen of Lee Goldberg's tie-in novels for the television series Momk and I thought I would try the tie-in bovels Goldeberg wrote for Diagnosis Murder. I ordered all eight books through diffeent vendors on Abebooks. Here are the ones that have come in so far: The Dead Letter (Nick Stryker, the infamous blackmailing LA private investigator has sent a package to Mark Sloan with the note, "If you are reading this, I'm dead." Can Sloan figure out which powerful person put the kibosh on the sleazy PI?), The Death Merchant (While vacationing in Hawaii, Sloan's holiday is interrupted when a local restaraunteur falls victim to a shark attack. Or did he? The body is covered with corn syrup and red dye -- "movie blood" -- and had been dead before being dumped into the sea), The Double Life (Sloan wakes up in the hospital and can't remember the last two years of his life, includng a wife he doesn't recognize), The Past Tense (The body of a woman dressed up as a mermaid lands on the beach outside Sloan's home. The woman's stomach contains a memory card relating to an 43-year-old murder -- the first murder Sloan had ever solved. Had he made a mistake back then?), The Shooting Script (Gunfire at a neighbor's house leads Sloan to discover the bullet-riddled bodies of an aspiring actress and a Hollywood producer. The case may involve a local Mob kingpin), and The Silent Partner (Among the unsolved murders that the LA police have asked Sloan to look into is the death of a woman believed to have been the victim of the Reaper, a serial killer currently on death row. It was never proven the the Reaper had killed that woman and Sloan suspects that, at least in this case, he is innocent). First World Problem: a book that I ordered through one online vendor has not shown up; instead the vendor sent two (count 'em two) copies of The Shooting Script, which I had ordered through another vendor. Anyone interested in a copy (or two) of The Shooting Script, please let me know.
- Julius Green, Curtain Up -- Agatha Christie: A Life in Theatre. A meticulously researched book on Christie and her contribution to popular theatre. I have read a number of Chrisitie's plays and have seen a few of them, but I never realized bow many she actually wrote. Green lists fifteen unpublished plays, including A Daughter's a Daughter (based on the "Mary Westmacott" novel), and plays adapted from Towards Zero, The Secret of Chimneys, and short stories "The Wasp' Nest," "Philomel Cottage," "The Last Seance," and "The Dead Harlequin," as well as an adaptation of the Arthur B. Reeves Craig Kennedy novel, The Exploits of Elaine. I would love to be able to read these unpublished works.
- Grady Hendrix, Ankle Snatcher. An amazon short story from one of the most innovative horror writers we have.
- Dean Koontz, Nameless, Season 1 and Nameless Season 2. Koontzian horror. Each "season" is broken down into six "episodes." Season 1: In the Heart of the Fire, Photographing the Dead, The Praying Mantis Bride, Red Rain, The Mercy of Snakes, and Memories of Tomorrow; Season 2: The Lost City of the Soul, Gentle Is the Art of Death, Kaleidoscope, Loght Has Weight, But Darkness Does Not, Corkscrew, and Zero In. An interesting marketing ploy from Koontz.
- Roanld Malfi, The Night Parade. Horror novel. "First the birds disappeared. Then the insects took over. Then the madness began...They call it Wanderer's Folly -- a disease of delusions, of daydreams and nightmares. A plague threatening to wipe out the human race. After two years of creeping decay, David Arlen woke up one morning thinking the worst was over. By midnight, he's bleeding and terrified, his wife is dead, and he's on the run in a stolen car with his eight-year-old daughter, who may be the key to a cure."
- Matthew Rossi, Nameless, Book 1. Bought by mistake, but what the hell, I'll give it a chance.
- Theodore Sturgeon, The Complete Stories of Theodore Stugeon, Volume XIII: Case and the Dreamer. The final volume in this pivotal series, not to be confused with the 1974 Doubleday collection Case and the Dreamer.
- Scott Van Doviak, Lowdown Road. Crime novel. "It's the summer of '74...Richard Nixon has resigned from office, CB radios are the hot new thing, and in the great state of Texas, two cousins hatch a plan to drive $1 million worth of stolen weed to Idaho, where some lunatic is gearing up to jump Snake River Canyon on a rocker-powered motorcycle. But with a vengeful seriff on their trailand the revered and feared matijuana kingpin of Central Texas out to get his stash back, Chuck and Dean are in for the tide of their lives -- if they can make it out alive..."
Sooncoming:
- Rex Stout, Seed on the Wind. Psychological novel. "The l;awyer, the jeweler, the art critic, and the oil-company man...self-possessed, independent Lora Winter has had a child with each of them. But when one of these men drives up to her house with a fifth man in the car, Lora rtuns to hide. That's how this extraordinary novel opens -- and by the time it ends, you'll have pieced together a masterful psychological jigsaw puzzle that is miles from a traditional crime novel, but whose desperate characters nevertheless resort to kidnapping, blackmail and possibly even murder." Originally publilshed in 1930 and out of print for over ninety years, Seed on the Wind is one of four psychological novels Stout published before creating Nero Wolfe. Hard Case Crime is bringing this one out on November 14, and will be publishing his 1929 novel How Like a God in June of 2024. Will publisher Charles Ardai also bring out more of Stout's early work, such as Golden Remedy, Forest Fire, and the political thriller The President Vanishes? Time will tell. PREORDERED.
Fibonacci Numers: In this TED Talk, "mathemagician" Arthur Benjamin eplains the wonderful world of Fibonacci numbers, a pattern that can be found throughout the universe. Fascinating..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjSHVDfXHQ4
Oppossum Rock: Just to liven up your Monday morning, here's Sonny Boy Williamson with "Opposum Rock."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rW3_qTHs02k
Fantasmagorie: 1n 1908, Emile Cohl used the new stop motopmn process of phtography to create this unusual innovative and creative stream of conciousness cartoon.
Enjoy:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1d28X0lkJ4&list=PLzjgfajwFA334BcP7ruFhKumV3sDoMuB-&index=17
Another Early Cartoon: From 1912, the great Winsor McKay (Little Nemo in Slumberland, Dreams of a Rarebit Fiend, Gertie the Dinosaur) show us How a Mosquito Operates.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77cn30IeZPU
Today's Cryptid: The Dover Demon is a creature that was reported seen in Dover, Massachusetts on April 21 and 22, 1977. It is a large-eye creature with a small, stick-like body and "tendril-like fingers" and glowing eyes (perhaps orange, perhaps green). It can be bipedal, but can also move on all fours. It was probably about three and one-half to four feet tall. Three separate sightings were reported over the two days. First, William Bartlett claimed he saw the creature while driving on Farm Street on April 21; the beastie was perched on a broken stone wall. The sighting lasted only a few seconds and Bartlett's two companions that evening did not see the creature.That same evening John Baxter reported seeing a similar creature on Miller Hill Road. Baxter got a good view of the creature from about thirty feet away; ot's body reminded him of a monkey and it had a "large figure-eight shaped head." Then, Abby Brabham reported seeing the creature the following night on Springdale Avenue. Not to pour cold water on the cryptid, but Bartlett was seventee-years-old and Baxter and Brabham were both fifteen-years-old, so the possibility of a teen-age prank cannot be ignored. Plus the creature was never seen again.
Dover is a small town in Norfolk County, near Boston and adjacent to Wellesly. Its popuoation o\in 2016 was 6,279; it's population in 1977 is estimated to be about 5,000. It happens to be the wealthiest town in the Commonwealth. I imagine the activities for a teenager in Dover in 1977 were limited.
The story of the Dover Demon has echoed through to this day. Explanations -- other than a hoax -- were that the creature was a baby moose, a snowy owl, an escaped gibbon from a private zoo, a lttle too much underaged drinking, or the real thing -- a creature unknown to man. You decide.
The Springhill Mining Disaster: Today is the 65th anniversary of the Springhill Mining Disaster at the Springhill coal field in Cumberland County, Nova Scotia. This was actually the third disaster at the mines; the first taking place in 1891 and the second in 1956. The 1958 disaster claimed the lives of 75 miners, while another 99 were rescued. The tragedy was referenced in Richard BRautigan's poetry book The Pill Versus the Springhil Mine Disaster (1968), and was an Easter Egg in Disney's 1961 animated One Hundred and One Dalmatians. Folksingers Ewan McCall and Peggy Seeger wrote "The Ballad of Springhill" in 1959; here's a version by Peter, Paul & Mary:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7Y3eSgfrJQ
Happy Birthday: It's been a few weeks since I listed natal felicitations. Here's a few people celebrating birthdays today:
Wen Yanbo (1006-1097; scholar-official of the Song Dynasty who served four emperors over five decades; Saint Ignitius of Loyala (1491?- 1556; Spanish preist and theologiab, one of the founders of the Society of Jesus); Hedwig Eleanora of Holstein-Gottorp (1636-1715; Queen of Sweden, 1654-1660, regent for her son, 1660-1672, later regent for her grandson, 1697, then representing him during his absence in the Great Northern War, 1700-1713); Pieter Burmann the Younger (1713-1778; Dutch philogist and poet who wrote Anthologia Veterum Latinorum Epigrammatum et Poematum, 1759-1763; he evidently had a violent disposition); Samuel Moray (1762-1843; American inventor who worked with the internal combistion engine; he was a pioneer in steamships and held twenty patents); Chauncey Allen Goodrich (1790-1860; American lexicographer, educator, and clergyman; the son-in-law of Noah Webster, he edited his dictionary after Webster's death); Albert Lortzing (1801-1851; German German composer and librettist, known for his two comic operas Zar und Zimmermann, 1837, and Der Wildschutz, 1842); John Russell Bartlett (1805-1886; American historian and linquist; NOT the John Bartlett of Bartlett's Quotations); Pierre Larousse (1817-1885; French lexicographer and encyclopaedist; he founded the publishing house Editions Larousse and is known for Petit Larousse and the 15-volume Grand dictionaire universel du XIXe siecle); Gustav Sporer (1822-1895; German astronomer noted for his studies of sunspots and sunspot cycles); Adlai Stevenson I (1835-1914; American vice president under Grover Cleveland; his grandson Adlai Stevenson II ran twice for president against Dwight D. Eisnhower); Sarah Bernhardt (1844-1923; world-famous Fench actress with a "golden voice"); John Heisman (1869-1936; American football player and coach; the Heisman Trophy is named for him); "Speckled Red" (Rufus Geroge Perryman, 1892-1973; American blues and boogie-woogie artist, noted for his recordings of "The Dirty Dozens" -- a collection of insuots and vulgar remarks from the Afro-American tradition, i.e., "I want all you women to fall in line/And shake yo shimmy like I'm shakin' mine/You shake yo shimmy and you shake it fast/If you can't shake the shimmy, shake yo' yas, yas, yas"); Emma Vyssotsky (1894-1975; American astronomer whise specialty was the motion of stars and the kinematics of the Milky Way; an early pioneer in what was assumed to be a man's field); Bernt Balchen (1899-1973; Norwegian -- later American citizen -- pioneer polar aviator and one of the first four pilots to fly over the South Pole ;
Harvey Penick (1904-1995; American professional golfer and coach, he was inducted into the World Golf Hall of Fame); Felix Bloch (1905-1983; Swiss-American physicist and Nobel Prize Laureate; he is considered one the developers of nuclear magnetic resonance); Yen Chia-kan (1905-1993; president of the Republic of China, 1975-1978, following the death of Chiang Kai-shek; Gertrude Ederle (1906-2003; she swam -- a lot); Ilya Frank (1908-1990; Soviet physicist and Noble Prize winner for his work in explaining the phenomenon of Chrenkov radiation); Zellig Harris (1909-1992; American linguist and mathematical syntactician; his contributions include "transfer grammar, string analysis, elementary sentence-differences and decomposition lattices, algebraic structures in language, operator grammar, sublanguage grammar, a theory of lin guistic information, and a pricipled accpount of the nature and origin of language" -- phew1); Simo Puupponen (1915-1967; prize-wining Finnish novelist under the pen name "Aapeli"); James Daly (1918-1978; American actor; he protrayed Cahd everett's superior in the television drama Medical Center, and starred in Saason Three of Foreign Intrigue; father of actors Tyne Daly and Tim Daly); Bob Montana (1920-1975; American cartoonist, creator of the comic book characters in Archie, many of them were based on hometown nad high school friends from Haverhill, Massachusetts); Jean Barker, Baroness Trumpington(1922-2018; British Conservative politician and life peer; she worked at Bletchley Park, cracking German naval codes; she recalled that former Prime Minister David Lloyd George "used to find reasons that were never explained to use a tape measure to take all her measurements"); Ned Rorem (1923-2022; American composer; he won a Pulitzer Prize in 1976 for Air Music: Ten Etudes for Orchestra); Frank Sutton (1923-1974; Actor who played Sergeant Carter on Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.); Johnny Carson (1925-2005; comedian and talk show host); Dezso Gyarmati (1927-2013; Hungarian professional water polo player and three-time Olympic champion); Jim Bunning (1931-2017; American baseball player and politician; he pitched the seventh perfect game in Major League Baseball while with the Phillies; he represented Kentucky in both Chambers of the U.S. Congress); Diana Dors (1931-1984; English model and actress, she was a blonde bombshell who actually had acting talent to accompany her pneumatic assets; the second of her three husbands was actor and game show host Richard Dawson); Vasily Belov (1932-2012; Soviet and Russian writer who published more than sixty books, including Business As Usual, Eves, and The Year of aajor Breakdown; he was a Russian nationalist who opposed the Soviet policy of collectivization); Carol Fran (1933-2021; American soul blues singer who sang with Guitar Slim, Nappy Brown, Lee Dorsey, Joe Tx, and her her husband Clarence Hollimon); Chi-Chi Rodrigues (b. 1935; professional golfer and the first Peuto Rican to be named to the World Golf Hall of Fame); Johnny Carroll (1937-1995; rockabilly musician who career was sadly eclipsed by early rock musicians such as Elvis Presley, Jerry Lee Lewis, and Johnny Cash); Deven Verma (1937-2014; Indian film and television actor, noted for comic Bollywood roles); Charlie Foxx (1933-1998; who, with his younger sister Inez, formed a rhythym and blues soul duo whose original version of "Mockingbird" sold over a million copies); Ellie Greenwich (1940-2009; songwriter who wrote or co-wrote such hits as "Da Doo Ron Ron," "Be My Baby." "Maybe I Know," "Then He Kissed Me," "Do Wah Diddy Diddy," "Christmas [Baby Please Come Home]," "Hanky-Panky," "Chapel of Love," "Leader of the Pack," and "River Deep - Mpuntain High"); Pele (1940-2022; he played footbal, or soccer, depending on what country you are from); Michael Crichton (1942-2008; American author who gave us both The Andromeda Strain and Jurassic Park; his unfinished novel Volcano will be completed by James Patteron and published in 2024); Anita Roddick (1942-2007; British businesswoman, human rights activist, and environmental cam paigner; she found The Body Shop, which helped shape the ethical consumerism movement); Mel Martinez (b. 1946; Secretary of Housing and Human developement under George H. Bush); Miklos Nemeth (b. 1946; Hungarian Olympic champiion and former world record holder in the javelin throw); Greg Ridley (1947-2003; English bass player and founding member of Humble Pie and Spooky Tooth); Brian Ross (b. 1948; investigative journalist; winner of at least 45 journalism awards); Nich Tosches (1949-2019; American journalist, novelist , and biographer; among his books was Hellfire: The Jerry Lee Lewis Story, 1982; Wurzel (1949-2011; English musician who played guitar in Motorhead frm 1984-1995); Ang Lee (b, 1954; Taiwanese film director of Eat Drink Man Woman, Brokeback Mountain, Life of Pi, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, and The Hulk); Dwight Yoakam (b. 1956; country music singer-songwriter); Paul Kagame (b. 1957; former rebel leader and current president of Rwanda; an authoritarian with a mixed record of accomplishments, he evidently has blood on his hands); Martin Luther King III (b. 1957; American activist); Nancy /Grace (b. 1959; Amercian lawyer and controversial journalist, unfortunately remembered for popping out of her costume on Dancing with the Stars); Sam Raimi (b. 1959; American filmmaker who directed the firs three films in the Evil Dead franchise and the Spider-Man trilogy, as well as Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness); "Weird Al" Yankovic (b. 1959; American musician and parodist); Randy Pausch (1960-2008; he wrote The Last Lecture after learnig that he was dying of pancretic cancer); Laurie Halse Anderson (b. 1961; author of chldren's and YA books); Doug Flutie (b. 1962; quarterbeck who played professionally for 21 seasons, later a football commnetator and analyst); Gordon Koman (b. 1963; Canadian author of children's and YA books whose titles have sold over 30 million copies); Robert Trujillo (b. 1964; American bassist for Metallica since 2003): Augusten Burroughs (b. 1965; author of the memoir Running with Scissors); Walter Flanagan (b. 1967: comic book store manager and artist, and lead star on AMC's Comic Book Men); Sanjay Gupta (b. 1969; American neurosurgeon and television medical reporter); Jon Huiertas (b. 1969; actor with roles on Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Moesha. Castle, and This Is Us); Grant Imahara (1970-2020; American electrical engineer and television host on MythBusters); Zoe Wiseman (b. 1970; former model and now photographer known for fine art nude photography); Kate de Castillo (b. 1972; Mexican-American actress who, at 19. had the lead role in the telenovela Nuchatitas; and in 2011 played the lead role in La Reina del Sur); Ryan Reynolds (b. 1976; actor producer businessman, Green Lantern, Deadpool, humanitarian, and People's 2010 Sexiest Man Alive); Meghan McCain (b. 1984; journalist and former co-host of The View); Emilia Clark (b. 1986; Daenerys Targaryen); Mako Komuro (b. 1991; former member of the Japanese imperial family who gave up her posittion when she married outisde the imperial family in 2021); Ireland Baldwin (b. 1995; model and activist for animal rights; the daughter of Alec Baldwin and Kim Bassinger); Amandla Stenberg (b. 1998; actress and intersectional feminist; she played Rue in 2012's The Hunger Games);and Yui Kobayashi (b. 1999; Japanese model and member of the idol group Sakurazaka46).
Happy birthday to all!
National Boston Cream Pie Day: Yes, it is today! Here's Betty Crocker's recipe for this american favorite:
https://www.bettycrocker.com/recipes/boston-cream-pie/866fb98f-be51-4e87-a746-86f042691094
(Today is also Slap Your Irritating Co-Worker Day. I don't have a recipe for that so you're on your own.)
Don't Make Assumptions: On the first day of school, many of the children brought i n gifts for their teacher. The florist's son brought on a dozen roses; the candy store owner's daughter rought in a beautiful box of chocolates; and the liquor store owner's son brought in a big heavy bos.
The teacher lifted the box and notice that the box was leaking a little, so she touched the spot with her fingers and tasted it.
"Is it wine?" She guessed.
The boy said no, so she tasted it again. "Is it champagne?" she asked.
"No," said the boy proudly. "It's a puppy."
Florida Man:
- Florida doofues and supposed "Cartel" members Jeffrey Arista, 32, Jonathan Arista, 29, and Raymond gomez (age not given) used an Airbnb nea Fort Lauderdale, fake badges, and police lights to kidnap a man at gunpoint and water board him, only to discover they had gotten the wrong man. The victim they were instructed to capture was a coworker of the man they grabbed. Before the waterbording the trio threatened the victim with pistols, stun guns, and an electric drill. After some 12 hours, they realized their mistake and =ecided to use the victimat hand to trap theeir true intended victim; because they had thrown the abductee's phone out of a miving vehicle when they captured him, they had to provide him with a new phone to call their true target. The victim played along long enough to get away and call on a bomb threat, which triggered a massive police response. The trio said they were hired because the victim had an unpaid debt; they refused to identify who had hired them for fear of eprisals.
- Florida Man Tyler Fayconsolo, who according to reports was "high as f***", head butted a car window during a high speed chased and flopped out of the car. It was all recorded on Marion County police video.
- Florrida Woman Dawn Shepherd, 46, of Ocala, was arrested after she had a heated argument with a Liberty Middle School receptionist over a visitor's pass. Shepherd was areested for battery against a public education official. She had been at the school for a meeting with administration about educatioan plans for her two children.
- A Florida Man in Indiatlanta has upset his neighbors by building a "man cave" in his back yard with shipping containers. The unnamed man evidently waited two years for a permit to build his man cave, but it is nclear what the building permit did allow. Brevard County has issued a stop work order while officials try to determine what to do about the situation; copunty codes allow the use of shipping containers as storage but do not allow the stacking of containers. the homeowner has expressed a willingness to work toward a workable solution.
- Baboo, the pet deer of Florida Man Michael Hanson of Palm coast was put down by the Florida Fish and Wildlife Commission after he allegedly attacked a 71-year-old man who had injuries to his hand and leg. Officials teid Baboo to a telephone pole before cutting his throat, and the shot it. They said the deer was put sown that way to preserve its brain for analysis. A Flagler County sheriff's deputy said, "Seemed like he was very friendly because he wasn't afraid of us. Makes me wonder if it anted not to attack but to play." Hanson rscued the deer eighteen months ago after its mother had died. He said he did not keep it captive but let it roam around freely. Hanson would go out every morning and have coffee with him. He'd leve his screen door open and the deer would lay on his couch. "Hre didn't have a mean bone in his body," Hanson said. Neightbors have set up a GoFundMe page for a memorial to Baboo to be placed on a nearby lot.
- Orange County deputies drew thei guns on Demarquis Smith and handcuffed him in from of Clients and coworkers in Winter Park. Oops, they had the wrong man. the man they intended to arrst was four inches taller and fifty pounds heavier than Smith. Eorrors like this happen all the time, Smith was told. According to the Orange County Sheriff's Office, "It is not uncommon for deputies to detain someone suspected of a crime or who has a warrant for their arrest while their idetity is verified and charges are confirmed." Smith's wife filed a complaint with the Sheriff's Office, but had not heard back from them for ten days, so she went to the sheriff's office with a television news crew. Although the sheriff's office has since been in touch with the family, they have yet to issue an apology. "I feel like they should ask a little more questions, do more investigating than just acting because this could have been prevented if they just did a little more research," Smith's wife said. The sheriff's office said they could not comment on a matter currently underreview. When asked to speak more broadly about what happens when a person is detained due to mistaken identity and how often things like this happen, the office also declined comment.
- Florida Bird Bachman's Warbler has been declared extincr. That's it. Gone. Kaput. Finito. The small yellow and black songnird that lived in Florida's brush is one of 21 endangered species declared extinct in 2023. In Florida, there are 32 birds considered endangered or threatened, with more than 100 other at risk. **sigh**
Good News:
- 14-year-old invents soap for treating skin cancer https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/14-year-old-invents-soap-for-treating-skin-cancer-and-wins-top-honor-as-americas-top-young-scientist/
- Herbal extract may improve mild dementia https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/herbal-extract-may-improve-mild-dementia-using-ginseng-ginkgo-biloba-and-crocus-sativus/
- Rolling Stones launch their first album in 18 years (Well, I think it's good news!) https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/rolling-stones-concert-for-new-album-hackney-diamonds-w-lady-gaga/
- Chicago marathoner gave up record finish to save kitten https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/chicago-marathoner-gave-up-record-finish-to-save-kitten-which-goes-on-to-find-new-home-with-spectator/
- Police officers retrieve couple's engagemtn ring after it fell into a sewage drain https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/police-officers-use-a-metal-pole-to-retrieve-couples-engagement-ring-after-it-fell-down-sewage-drain/
- Woman becomes first human fitted with nerve-and-bone-fused bionic limb https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/woman-becomes-first-human-to-be-fitted-with-nerve-and-bone-fused-bionic-limb/
- Wild mushroom harvest helps keep trees standing in Mozambique https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/wild-mushroom-harvest-helps-keep-trees-standing-in-mozambique/
- Scientists have created natural sponges that soak up nanoplastics https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/scientists-have-created-natural-sponges-that-soak-up-nanoplastics/
Today's (Halloween) Poem:
Ghost House
I dwell in a lonely house I know
That vanished many a summer ago,
And left no trace but the cellar walls.
And a cellar in which the daylight falls
And the purple-stemmed wild raspberries grow.
O'er ruined fences the grape-vines shield
The woods come back to the mowing field;
The orchard tree has grown one corpse
Of new wood and old where the woodpecker chops;
The footpath down to the well is healed.
I dwell with a strangely aching heart
In that vanished abode there far apart
On that disused and forgotten road
That has no dust-bath now for the toad.
Night comes; the black bats tumble and dart;
The whippoorwill is comiong to shout
And hush and cluck and flutter about;
I hear him begin far enough away
Full many a time to say his say
Before he arrives to say it out.
It is under the small, dim, summer star.
I know not who these mute folk are
Who share the unlit place with me --
Those stones out under the low-limbed tree
Doubtless bear names that the mosses mar.
They are tireless folk, but slow and sad --
Though two, close-keeping, are lass and lad --
With none among them that ever sings,
And yet, in view of how many things,
As sweet companions as might be had.
-- Robert Frost